Why Now is the Toughest Time to Be a Working Mom

And Why It's Time to Shift the Burden

Being a working mom today is no easy feat. Between managing meetings and meltdowns, it’s often overwhelming. And there is a generation of working mothers who’re just exhausted from trying to do it and be it all; who feel like they missing out on motherhood amid the juggle and chaos of every day.

The truth is that the world hasn’t caught up with the realities of working mothers.

Despite the strides we’ve made, modern motherhood is still tangled up in outdated expectations and norms that can make it incredibly tough.

And it’s not about better time management or organisational skills – we have those in spades as working mothers. It’s about building a society that understands and values motherhood, parenting and caregiving.

When it comes to professional success, we’ve been told for years how we need to be to succeed in the workplace. And the focus has always been on personal development.

While personal development certainly has its place, it will not address the systemic and structural challenges that working mothers and all care givers face.

Here’s why it’s harder than ever to juggle a career and family, and why it’s time to rethink how we support and value working mothers.

1. The 9-to-5: A Relic of the Past

The traditional 9-to-5 workday, rooted in the Industrial Revolution, is a relic of a bygone era. This rigid structure doesn’t account for the complexities of modern life, where the demands of parenting and work have drastically changed.

Yet, businesses and societal expectations remain largely unchanged.

What We’re Up Against:

• Fixed Hours: Many workplaces still expect you to be clocked in during specific hours, making it hard to juggle work with school runs and nap times.
• Little Flexibility: The lack of flexible hours or remote work options can leave you feeling stuck between your job and your family.

And many businesses are demanding a “return to the office” from employees under the productivity and innovation guise. It seems leadership is stuck in the pre-pandemic era of presentee-ism over impact and output.

2. Outdated Views on Motherhood

There remains a pretty narrow view of what makes a “good” mom, and it often piles on the emotional and mental load. Despite more women working full-time, the expectations around mothering haven’t budged much.

There are more working mothers in the workforce globally than at any other time in history, and we’re still expected to carry the second shift. This is partly because we’re not pushing hard enough against these unrealistic expectations and partly because society as a whole doesn’t seem to have caught up to this.

The Reality:

• Emotional Labour: We often carry the weight of planning, organising, and worrying about our families, even when we’re working full-time.
• Gender Norms: Traditional views still hold strong, making it harder for moms to be seen as both dedicated professionals and caring parents.

We often internalise these norms, believing we need to meet these traditional expectations to be deemed "good" mothers, even when they conflict with our professional goals.

3. Parenting Resources vs. Real-Life Support

It’s amazing how many parenting resources are out there, which is a wonderful help for many of us. But there are fewer resources, less support and less understanding about motherhood and working motherhood.

If we need parenting support there are a ton of resources, but when it comes to really supporting working mothers, we’re left largely to figure this out on our own.

What We’re Missing:

• Deep Understanding & Value: While there is research into motherhood, there is still a lot more to uncover about the impact – both positive and negative – on motherhood and valuing this process as important.
• Real Support: As working mothers are largely figuring these things out on our own and we’re cobbling together the support we need.

Because there is limited understanding about motherhood, we’re expected to “just get on with it”.? And at some level we internalise this lack of support and understanding as our own failure. It’s time to normalise discussions around motherhood, to understand what’s really going on so that we build our own unique blend of what works for us.

4. Glass Ceilings, Walls, and Cliffs

As working moms, we face the same challenges we did as working women. These are the invisible barriers that hinder our career progress.

From the glass ceiling to the glass cliff – not to mention the broken rung - the challenges are real and can feel overwhelming.

And for working mothers, these challenges are just larger.

Challenges We Face:

• Career Limits: Career growth can be stunted by biases and outdated expectations about working mothers.
• Motherhood Penalty: Returning to work often means facing pay gaps and fewer opportunities just because we’re mothers.

We may feel like we need to downplay our role as a mother to fit into these roles, reinforcing the idea that being a working mom means compromising our career ambitions.

5. The Struggle to Fit In

The “ideal worker” model hasn’t changed much over the years, and it doesn’t fit the realities of modern motherhood.

And the “ideal worker” definition doesn’t fit a lot of people. It is an outdated definition based on what was needed to succeed 10 or 20 years ago, not what is needed to succeed now and in the future.

It’s a mould that drives the always-on, hustle, burnout culture that has been prevalent in corporates. It’s a mould that does not work for anyone with any caregiving responsibilities,

What We’re Expected to Do:

• Bounce-Back: The pressure to jump back into work and perform at the same level as before can be overwhelming.
• Conform to Expectations: There is little freedom to build a new model of executive success and we’re expected to conform or risk the “mommy track”.

Many of us might feel compelled to conform to this outdated mould, leading to feelings of inadequacy or guilt when we can’t meet these unrealistic standards.

A Call to Redefine Modern Motherhood

It’s clear that the traditional frameworks and perceptions around working motherhood no longer fit our modern reality. The outdated 9-to-5 work structure, the lingering societal expectations, and the disconnect between parenting resources and real-life support are all contributing to the unique challenges we face today.

We can’t simply accept these old paradigms as unchangeable truths.

Instead, it’s time to redefine what it means to be a working mom. We need to:

• Champion Flexibility: Push for work environments that accommodate our diverse needs and reflect the realities of modern family life.

• Actively Drive Diversity: Recognise and reward the diverse skills and perspectives that working mothers bring to the table.

• Reframe Gender Norms: Challenge and change outdated expectations around gender roles and emotional labour, both at home and in the workplace.
• Value Caregiving: Recognise and elevate the importance of caregiving roles, acknowledging their impact on both personal well-being and professional success.

By shifting the conversation from fixing ourselves to fixing the system, we can create a more inclusive and supportive environment that truly values the contributions of working mothers. Let’s move beyond the outdated expectations and work towards a future where our work and personal lives are in harmony, not conflict.

By shifting our own perceptions and advocating for systemic change, we can create a world where working mothers are supported, understood, and empowered.

Let’s embrace this opportunity to reshape the narrative and build a future where we no longer have to choose between our careers and our families.

Instead, we can thrive in both, with the recognition and support we deserve.