Why Nobody Calls You Back!

Disclaimers: First, I only work with executives I know personally or by referral . Have quite a few personal friends in my stable, so I’m not able to accept unsolicited resumes. No disrespect intended! Second, you are welcome to post questions and comments on the article. You are even welcome to disagree with me; however please keep it upbeat and positive. 

My recent post on “why nobody calls you back” was so popular I decided to expand on it and provide a few more details. There are many reasons people don’t return your call. Some are justified, some are not. My Dad taught me to ALWAYS return every phone call, email and text. He said, “It’s the respectful and right way to treat people.” But let’s be honest here, unless there is something of value in it for them, most people don’t return your call. 

At a high level, they are not buying what you are selling. Or they know you are going to ask for a favor and saying "no" would be awkward.  So they avoid you like the plague. Or the #1 reason nobody calls you back: You don't have a strong value proposition. 

There are actually quite a few GOOD reasons people don’t get back to you, so before you jump to conclusions, consider a few legitimate explanations for why someone did not return your call. Two very important points. First, this is not the TV show “24”; things are not happening in real time. Lord, please send me $20 for every person that asked, “Did you get my email?”, only to find out they sent it 5 minutes ago. No, I do not sit in front of my computer screen all day waiting for your email. Second, although something is critical to YOU, most likely it does not make the radar of the other person. 

• Health Issues – It’s possible they have the flu, or their kids have the flu, or their dog is sick. When I’m down with the flu, I could care less about email drama. Dealing with an ailing spouse or the kids being down with a cold trumps your voice message. This week I had a client out for a few days to attend a funeral. Always give someone two or three days to respond. 
• Out of Office – When I go on vacation, unless it’s an emergency, it can wait until I return. That is the point of vacation: To relax and enjoy family time. The same is true when I’m on the road for a business trip. When I travel to Macau, I have appointments all day, every day. My normal business hours are 4:00 AM to 4:00 PM, then the phone gets turned off so I can decompress (and detox!) There is nothing so important it can’t wait until the morning. 
• They Did Not Get the Message – Never underestimate the power of your Internet Service Provider to hose you! Occasionally Cox Communications does not deliver my email. And check your spam every morning. Cox is infamous for sending messages to spam. Today I got a message from a client in Asia that they did not receive access instructions for my client mixer next week. Turns out it was in their spam folder. 
• Got the Message; Forgot – Because I receive 500 emails a day, I have to sort and prioritize them. Occasionally a message does not get returned simply due to the volume. It’s not intentional. The best way to get a response is to make a call or send an email. For me, I am a big email fan because it allows my clients to respond at their leisure. I don’t text and only pick up the phone for important situations. If I don’t hear back after a few days, I’ll follow up with a second email. This fixes 95% of the problems.  In many cases they may have seen your email, and due to the treadmill of life, simply forgot to call you back. 
• Bigger Fish to Fry – Although you may think your question or comment deserves immediate attention, it may not be important to the recipient. The perfect example is candidates and Executive Recruiters. I get roughly 100 cold calls (unsolicited resumes) a day, and another 20 referrals. The cold calls get a courteous “no thank you”; however I have to follow up on all the referrals. Keep in mind that Executive Recruiters get people for jobs…not jobs for people. If I don’t stay laser focused on my executive searches, I don’t eat. Another example is the CFO trying to get the quarterly financials out. Or the CEO on a tight deadline for a project. They have bigger fish to fry, so your call or email does not make their radar. 
• They are Not Buying What You are Selling – The first thing you learn is sales is, “Don’t take NO personally.” People don’t know you well enough to hate you! They are just not buying what you are selling. For the record, cold calling is not a strategy. It’s unreasonable to expect busy executives to return cold calls. As one CMO told me, “If I returned even half of the cold calls, I would not be able to accomplish a single thing at work.” Although I personally return cold calls with a polite no thank you, 95% of the executives don’t have the bandwidth to get back to you. If you want to be successful in sales, only approach people via referral. 
• Soliciting the Wrong Person – Always be sure you are contacting the right person! I’ll never forget a Cisco sales rep at a mixer soliciting a CIO, “You are the guy that never calls me back.” The CIO very calmly stated, “Because I have a fleet of people that buy routers. I don’t buy the routers.” Great point! And here are two more Godfather tips for you. First, if someone tells you they are “the guy” (decision maker), mostly likely they are not. Second, the only person that gets to tell me “no” is the CEO. When someone tries to body block me I simply go directly to the CEO. Why? Because he is the really the only person that can tell me no. And beecause me filling “wishes” for Make-A-Wish is far more important than someone's ego. 
• You Have No Value Proposition – This is the #1 reason people don’t call you back: You don’t have a strong value proposition. Think I’m wrong? Play to their ego and see if they don’t get back to you in 60 seconds. “Hey, saw you won that award. Congratulations!” “Hey, saw you got promoted.” “Hey, great picture of you and that celebrity on Facebook.” When I email a CEO about a million dollar job, do you think he responds? Absolutely! How about when I email a charity to sponsor an upcoming fundraiser? Of course! It’s all in the value proposition: What’s in it for them. If you are asking for favors, especially those you are NOT entitled to, don’t expect a response. Consider your value proposition. 

To this point we have focused on all the acceptable reasons people don’t call us back. Let’s now move over to the dark side: Not so acceptable reasons. Yes I am a positive thinker. Yes I try to see the good in people. But let’s not fool ourselves, not everyone gives back or puts first skin in the game. Or is charitable and kind.  

• He Will Call You When He Wants Something! – Truth: Most people only call you to ask for something. Not judging or being negative. It’s just life. Best to understand it, accept it…and don’t let it make you bitter or angry. I remember a certain CIO not returning my call. A mutual friend told me, “Don’t worry; he will call you back when he needs something.” Sure enough, two weeks later that CIO called and asked me to put him on the access list for the House of Blues Foundation Room. Bahahahaha! Unfortunately, it’s just a fact of life. Most people only call you to ask for a favor. Or a job. Or in my case...free Lady Gaga tickets. 
• Identifying Your 5 True Friends – I always tell executives that lose their job, “The good news is you are about to find out who your 5 true friends are.” Most people laugh at me, but call 30 days later to confirm I was 100% correct. So why don't people call you back when you lose your job?  Because you are just one more unemployed person that can’t do anything for them. You are no longer the CEO or CFO that could buy products and services. They were NOT your friend! They are an acquaintance hanging around for what you could do for them. And they know why you are calling – to ask for a job. It would be awkward to tell you “no interest” or that they would not feel comfortable giving you a referral. I know, tough love, right? After 15 years and 1,000 executive placements, The Godfather is here to give it to you straight. 
• They Wear Ultimate Hubris Cologne – Not everyone is like you and me. Some people actually border on being sociopaths, which is defined as someone that thinks about themselves 100% of the time. They literally don’t care about anyone else. You are saying, “Godfather, that is so harsh!” But you know it’s true. And you know a few people like that.  I’m not judging or condemning, however I’m in a business where executives treat me like dirt right up until the day they are terminated. Then magically, they remember my cell number. I think media and modern society have tried to wire us that way: It’s all about ME! Which is interesting, because the Bible is exactly the opposite: Love one another as I have loved you.

The #1 Way to Get People to Return Your Call - Over the last 20 years I have done my research in this area.  The answer is YOUR UNIQUE VALUE PROPOSITION. You must have a strong value proposition! When there is something in it for YOU, mostly people could care less. But when there is someone of value in it for THEM, they will return your call. I'm fortunately to have a pretty good value proposition. A newsletter that goes out to 6,000. As an Executive Recruiter, I can get people jobs. With that big Rolodex, I can make introductions that add value and help people. One piece of advice that has really helped me personally - always build the bridge before you need to cross the river. People call me Godfather because of my Rolodex, but also because I have done a thousand favors for my friends. My mindset is, "How can I help you?" In this day and age, I think that shocks some people!