Why this news should make us look life seriously

“I am taking my own life, no one is responsible. I am unable to cope. I am sorry. I am depressed. I see no way out except for suicide. Yes, I am a coward. I should have faced life.”

Excerpt of the news in Hindustan times 16th May 2016 relating to suicide of a top executive of a MNC firm in Gurgaon.

This is not the last word of an uneducated, illiterate and a poor soul without access of basic necessities in life. This is a note written by a top executive of an MNC before jumping from his posh building and ending his life.  And with the vengeance with which media leapt to flash this news was alarming for me.

We have abundance of negativity around us. Open any newspaper on any day in the morning and most of the news items on the front page is full of negativity. Corruption, Rape, Murder, Prison, Terrorism, Verdict etc. are some of the words which are put in bold for your eyes and mind to catch (only in the name of grabbing your eyeballs) and start your day with a dose of negativity. You scroll on the smartphone, similar stories continue. If you thought some respite will be given to you on TV channels, again the same story of negativity follows you.

Why? Every Wondered?

It’s simple - 2/3rd of our neurons in the brain are constantly looking for negativity even though we have evolved being a full fledged thinking human being in the modern day comforts than our ancestors who required an edge of negative cues compared to positive one because they had to survive. Fight or flight is what they needed to decide once they sensed danger. Despite the fact that we have all the comforts and don’t encounter dangers like them, we still haven’t switched off our negativity hunger and that’s what media latched on as they know, Negativity is a profitable business.

Impact on us

With so much of negativity around us, it ensures we suffer from ‘Negativity Bias’. What it means is that in any given situation your ability to pick on the negatives far outweighs the positivity. You tend to highlight and experience negativity quite easily. First sign of this is you being angry on small things, picking fights with strangers, have a heightened ego and getting hurt easily. You also suffer from inferiority complex and get pride in finding faults in others.

Couple this with the stressful life we lead and longer hours at work without shoulders of our near and dear ones to lean on, life becomes a pressure cooker and it can blast any day if not checked regularly.

Seek Positivity

The antidote of this situation is finding ‘positivity’ around you. Unlike negativity, you need to seek positivity. It just doesn't jump on you. You need to pursue it, feel it and make it a habit. In life, negativity jumps on you while you need to invite positivity to you and that too take effort to ensure it stays back once it comes in. How do you do it? Here are 5 simple exercises which can help you get it.

• Gratitude Journal – Research says, you should spend at least 10 minutes of your day reflecting on the things god has given you and how grateful you are for it. The water that we drink, the air that we breathe, the food that we eat, the relationships that we have are some of the things we take for granted. Reflect some of the beautiful things you have and be happy about it. You can remind yourself, that there are many people in the world who don’t even have the basic things which we have taken for granted. Maintain a gratitude journal and reflect on this every month on things god ensured you got easily.

• Getting into flow: Flow comes to those, who know what they are good at and then they apply those strengths at tasks which tests those talent at optimum level. When you are in flow, you feel time distortion and perform at your peak. Try to find out what are the things you do which you look forward to and don’t want time to pass. Find opportunities to do those things more often and get into flow. If you can’t get into flow even once in a day, you should seriously look at your job and change it. It will only add stress and negativity if you don’t enjoy what you do.

• Find Meaning: When your existence is only centered towards self and doesn’t have an inch of benefit for others, then that means you are living a hollow life. Happy are those people who can see whatever they do helps others in some way and they find time spent at workplace much more effective than people who don’t/can’t see this.  I met a Rickshaw wala yesterday, who said, "I just want that whosoever sits in my rickshaw feels happy that he met me. I provide, free newspaper, Wi-Fi, TV, Cold water, Pen, lighter etc. to just make the person feel he is special. I feel my life has a meaning and that is to make others happy". Even though he drives a rickshaw, he is a happy soul and this is because he can link his existence to something bigger than himself.

• Set Goals: Life without goals is useless. Your energy can be sucked in several small things. When you are pursuing a goal, your energy is focused and achievement of those goals makes you happy. It can be the smallest goals from others perspective, like getting up at 5.30 am and go for 30 minutes jog - its fine as long as you achieve it and are happy about it. Keep setting new goals and keep achieving it. It can be short term, mid-term and long term but as long as it is set and you are pursuing it, negativity can’t creep in.

• Cultivate Relationships: At work or at home, relationships are the bedrock of a happy life. One of the longest studies on happiness at Harvard tells us that the key to a happy and fulfilling life is the relationships you cultivate. Workplaces should encourage relationships to cultivate and let people be with the people with whom they don’t mind spending 80% of their waking hours. One of the ways in which you can do this is by appreciating and respecting people who they are rather being guided by one’s prejudices and preferences.

 My personal take on today’s life is that we need to teach people see things differently, positively and indulge in the acts of life which brings joy rather than forcing ones to the blind pursuits of material and fame which might look good from outside and can give people around you the bragging rights but kills you slowly even when you are alive.

So, take life seriously. Think what you are doing with it and if you haven’t found ways and means to be happy then pause, reflect and do things differently so that we don’t read these lines again.

Because we all have option, it’s just that sometimes we can’t see it.