Why New Year’s Resolutions Often Fail (And Why You Should Set Them, Anyway)

People who don’t set any goals are the ones whom life will pass right by. In fact, most people say they wish they could live their lives over again because a high percentage of people realize too late that they have frittered their lives away.?

—Gary Latham, Phd, Co-founder Of Goal Setting Theory

One of the reasons why some people shy away from goal setting is because they have made New Year’s resolutions in the past that didn’t give them the results they desired. Egged on by television commercials featuring buff models, men and women often join gyms or weight-loss programs, but fall off the wagon by the third or fourth week of the year, and then decide that goal setting is for the birds.

This phenomenon of failing at New Year’s resolutions is so familiar to researchers that a certain day—the third Monday in January—has been dubbed “the most depressing day of the year.” This is when it’s thought that people give up on their goals because they’ve encountered one setback, they are depressed about credit card statements that reveal holiday overspending, and the weather isn’t cooperating to lift their mood. And in contrast to most previous years, January’s blues will undoubtedly reflect the emotional toll exacted by being apart from family and friends for so long during Covid restraints. When you add up all of these variables and the impact they can have on one’s optimism, motivation and willpower, it can be easy to throw in the towel and conclude that New Year’s resolutions don’t work.

Photo by?Kristopher Roller ?on?Unsplash

What studies of New Year’s resolutions have found, though, is that when they are set correctly and for the right reasons, they can make a tremendous difference in a person’s life, and even set that individual up for success in the future. One study tracked the success of resolvers and non-resolvers, and found that people who set New Year’s resolutions had a 46 percent success rate with their goals after six months, while those who set no goals had only a 4 percent success rate!

Clearly, the process of setting goals has a powerful impact, but we’d like to show you some of the finer points of goal setting that will dramatically increase your own odds of success, including research that shows how you can triple your odds of getting what you want.

Often, the acronym SMART is used to help people to remember to set goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-sensitive (people have played around with this acronym and used a variety of words for SMART, like action-oriented for A, or reasonable for R). While this is a nice start that is easy to cite, the problem is that it doesn’t reflect the most effective ways to set, pursue and achieve the hardest, most game-changing, results in a person’s life.?

Ever since I published “Creating Your Best Life” in 2008 - reissued again in January 2020 because of its enduring popularity - I’ve been refining my approach to goal accomplishment. Working with leaders and organizations over the last decade, and through the coronavirus pandemic, showed me that not only do SMART goals fail the accuracy test, that’s also true of the oft-cited OKR (objectives and key results) and KPI (key performance indicators) that are so common in big organizations. They both leave out some of the most important and sensitive areas that anyone needs to examine before moving ahead with a goal.

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I’ve organized these missing pieces into an approach called the BRIDGE methodology, which conveniently reminds us that to succeed at anything we have to travel from here to there, and quite often over a bridge.

Try my BRIDGE approach with your New Year’s resolutions this year to see if you aren’t more thorough, thoughtful and successful :

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B - After deciding what you want to pursue, BRAINSTORM all of the different ways to get to your finish line. In particular, figure out if the goal is a learning goal (you haven’t done it before so you have to find resources to flatten your learning curve quickly) or a performance goal (you’ve done it before, so you can create a checklist of the most important actions - like the “punchlists” used to certify construction project completion - and follow it with deadlines.

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R - No one accomplishes anything hard all by themselves, but far too often we fail to turn to important RELATIONSHIPS to help us when we are stuck or want to quit. Resolve to recruit people who can cheerlead, support and hold you accountable. Form a mastermind group. Join an online community. But don’t go it alone.

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I - When you go on a hike, you usually take supplies like snacks, water and a map. To maximize your chances of success, think about the INVESTMENTS you need to make to have sufficient time, money, energy and character strengths to avoid running out of what you need.

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D - One of the most important questions I ask every person I coach is about their DECISION-MAKING. Knowing when you have made your best decisions and worst decisions is key to knowing if you are watching for the right signs that you need to pivot, press harder or end goal pursuit completely.

G - Having GOOD GRIT means you’ll persist with humility, patience, willpower and curiosity when you have setbacks, but that you won’t make the mistake of ignoring the warning signs of arrogance and ignorance with stupid grit.

Photo by?Giorgio Trovato ?on?Unsplash

E - Goal setting theory emphasizes that all of the finest results emerge when you have “clear and challenging” standards of EXCELLENCE. When we pursue goals that are easy to achieve, or that don’t require new learning or going outside our comfort zone, we feel mediocre and don’t develop authentic self-esteem. What are the ELITE standards you are setting for yourself?

I share examples from client files and current news stories in my monthly newsletter , as well as in weekly video shorts on Instagram , YouTube and LinkedIn . I’d love to hear from readers who are using BRIDGE successfully to achieve their goals, so let me know how you’re doing and I’ll give you a shout out!