Why my dress size has nothing to do with my 2019 New Years Resolution

A new year is upon us all, with every article and social media post centered around one main topic LOSE WEIGHT. I see resolution after resolution about “finally getting healthy, stepping up the gym time” and countless other public promises to the world and themselves. None of this resonates with me at all, it’s been so beaten into all of us year after year that I find myself completely numb to the notion. Don’t get me wrong, my body is an ongoing work in progress that some days I wake up and high five myself because I just dominated the gym and other days when I reach for my loosest dress in the closet in hopes of masking the extra few brownies I enjoyed that weekend. Even with this, why is this the center of every post? Are we all that boring? I don’t think so; this life is filled with so many different areas we all strive to excel in that I know I must represent the masses when I say PLEASE inspire me to start my new year with excitement and as my Italian mom says, “With gusto!” to tackle more than just some extra jiggle in my thighs. It is with that in mind that I challenge you to the below alternatives in this New Year and invite you to add your own declarations.

Fear is the thing that makes us feel like we are not enough

In 2019 I will focus my attention on:

1.      Doing one thing every day that scares me. If my initial reaction is one of fear, where it would be easier to back down, change plans, or there is a possible outcome of failing I will step outside the matrix of fear and take-action. Fear is the thing that makes us feel like we are not enough, it’s the voice that says, “what will people think, you’ll fall flat on your ass, people will laugh, you aren’t smart enough, you aren’t educated, you should probably lose weight first, they’ll think you’re too aggressive, you’ll look like a total jerk, it has never been done before for a reason.” I will make the powerful choice to see my reality for what it is, and be 100% focused on pursuing my road to success and becoming the woman, I want my children to see and emulate.

2.      Controlling my emotions. Having a nickname of “The Italian Storm” may sound enduring but the reality is I show my cards. There is zero guessing game with me, when my face becomes tight, the hands come up with the signature Ma che vuoi (What the hell are you saying) gesture which is totally involuntary the person I am conversing with knows immediately things aren’t headed on a positive track. I will focus on gaining control over my emotions & become mentally stronger. Below are the top tricks I have read about:

• Anchoring – Spend a few minutes each day when you’re alone, think of a happy memory in your life. Recall how you felt, what the setting was, was someone else with you, what were they doing during this time. Feel the weather that day, in that moment, the way your heart felt light and the sense of joy or love you experienced. At the top of this memory, make a gesture you would not normally make. Tug your ear, tap your knee, intertwine your fingers. Do it a few times, your brain will automatically anchor those strong emotions of happiness and fulfillment to that gesture. Next time you’re stressed trigger those emotions.
• Take a break – Grab a cup of coffee, take a walk around the building, go to the bathroom. This will give yourself time to process your emotions, and will be less likely to be overly intense.

The words “I hate to sound so female or excuse my emotion behind this topic” will never again leave my lips.

3.      Stop Apologizing. 2018 was the busiest year of my life and one of the toughest on a personal level, I felt like every time I walked into a room I was apologizing. Whether it was for being late, not staying in good enough contact, not returning the call or email, not completing a task I had hoped I would be able to conquer, or worse apologizing me for being who I am. I will not ever again in a conversation with a fellow broker, apologize for being passionate about an important issue. The words “I hate to sound so female or excuse my emotion behind this topic” will never again leave my lips. I am passionate, I do care, and the reason they haven’t experienced someone like me before on the other side of the negotiations is because I am the only version of me in this market. There are four exclusive tenant reps in Southern Nevada, and the other three are men. 2019 will be the year I live life on my terms, the way I want, focusing on what I want and saying the things I want to say. Ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said that you only get respect when you are yourself. “When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.” I will acknowledge that what makes me special are my flaws, my talents, my attitude and my personality. I will embrace my eccentricities and be unapologetically myself.

4.      Control of finances. Impulse buying, splurging on unnecessary high-ticket items for the kids, and simplifying my life all completely controlled my bank account in 2017 & 2018. Gary Vaynerchuk challenges everyone to “downgrade their happiness.” Nothing I buy today, and the luxurious trips to the spa in attempt to relax my body in mind are going to be tangible when I am at the age of retirement. When I pass I want to leave my children real estate, trusts for my grand babies and know that I left behind a foundation on which generations after me can benefit from. Expensive accessories, clothing and a membership to the most expensive gym in town won’t get me there. I will align my financial decisions to get me to my end game, my dream and the “why” behind the 14-hour days, the aching feet and the resilience to getting my teeth kicked in and still showing up the next day. If the purchase I am about to make doesn’t get me there, I am not making it. I will opt to set aside time to clean my own house, clean my own car and make spa trips, the nail salon and hair salon less frequent.

5.    Stay Present. There are times I’ve wished the kids didn’t have back to back recitals, plays or sporting events. The feeling of watching my daughter play the violin on stage is unmatched, after years of shows locally and nationally I have yet to leave a performance with dry eyes. Watching my son sing “Rocking around the Christmas Tree” or make a basket on the court is equally soul fulfilling. Yet, I somehow feel like I have to hurry through it and get back to work or wishing I could just miss one or two. I will practice being present. The only thing I have for sure in life is the present moment. I will lose thoughts of the past, expectations on the future and focus on the now. With this I will start everyday with being grateful, and when my mind goes into thoughts of future or past I will acknowledge my thoughts have drifted away and quickly refocus.

Mindfulness will help achieve all other resolutions. Nothing is unachievable, we just have to start from the right mindset. Making a conscience effort to treat every new lifestyle choice or goal as a muscle that will need to be trained daily is the fastest way to retrain the mind and body. 2019 is the year we will live boldly, inspire one another, focus on self-love, view others through the lens of love and opportunity, champion one anothers success, quiet our minds, trust the process, give more and most importantly let ourselves and everyone around us shine. I wish us all success, happiness, and a lot of laughs in the year ahead. Cheers!!