Why my book is the WRONG book!

When my book was accepted by the publisher Berrett-Koehler Publishers in 2017 (published in 2018) I could not have been more excited[i].

It is a book for project managers about how to leverage character strengths and positive psychology with teams and other stakeholders. It is a combination of my then two favorite activities – project management and positive psychology – or the science of what is strong.

I put as much effort into that book as I had ever put into anything. Even law school and passing the bar didn't seem harder. My editor helped me to hone the content, and along the way made it a much better book(!) The designer of the book cover - Susan Malikowski owner of Designleaf Studio - launched my brand – tying my message to my love of elephants.

There it was, in glorious technicolor on the virtual shelves. And realistically that is where for the most part it stayed. Despite great reviews from smart people (see example below), this topic was a little left field for most project managers. One even said to me at a conference, “It sounds like social intelligence, and project managers should not get tangled up in that. We are about execution not feelings!”

My favorite line from the book - "It will lift you from being a manager of tasks to being a motivator of people." That is so powerful. Regardless your industry, nationality, or experience we all work with people. This book will make you better at working with people and a better Project Manager!

Truly my favorite book this year and so happy to have it part of my collection!

Joe Pusz - PMO Joe Host, Project Management Office Hours

Fast forward 4 years and I almost wish I had not written the book. Why? Because it only tells ? the story. What I had not realized as I was writing the book is that I would never project manage a project again. That I had totally burned out in project management. What lay ahead was four to six years of recovery and a change of direction in my career, life, priorities and more. Of course, writing the book has been helpful to me and my career, and I would rather not change that. But it has not been the help to others that I wanted it to be, and now I even wonder if it has contributed in its own way to the ever increasing levels of burnout and stress.

What's wrong with the book?

Well, I stand by the underlying message. Connecting people to their core (signature) strengths of character is important. Encouraging them to leverage those strengths in the workplace definitely helps to build engagement and collaboration. I have witnessed AND experienced it. But what I think about now, is how our relentless pursuit of being the best we can be, is burning us out. We can blame covid-19, social unrest, social media, political and economic uncertainty, but those things or things like them, have been around for a long time.

My parents experienced a world war, bombing at home, evacuation to a strange place. They had food shortages, food rationing, loss of loved ones, the Bay of Pigs, Chernobyl (all be it from 100’s of miles away), the cold war, depression, inflation, stagflation, and two hour each way commutes. They even grew up with outdoor plumbing and having to boil water to have a bath. When I was born, they were snowed in, living in the dining room because it was the only room with heat in the house. My father walked 7 miles to buy me baby grows so that I would be warm enough. I never heard either of them speak about burnout or how life is too hard, not comfortable enough or just too difficult. I am not saying they did not suffer the consequences of their experiences. I am sure that some of those consequences were negative, but they, like their parents before them, expected life to be bumpy, uncomfortable, and unkind. They did not need mindfulness to recognize a special moment or enjoy being outside. These moments were the soul replenishing counterbalance to hard work and often feeling tired!

Based on my experience as a coach and speaker, I am starting to suspect that all those interventions to build engagement forgot about disengagement. They overlooked the moments when we recharge and get ready to start again.

Unappreciated wisdom of parents

My father was full of useful sayings. At the time they irritated me beyond belief. Now I recognize many had merit (Sorry Dad). For example, moderation in all things including moderation. Of course, he was paraphrasing Oscar Wilde (a good choice!), but it was a good reminder that we should not do anything to excess.

And I now believe that we may have done “playing to strengths” and building engagement to excess. What my book needed was the other side to balance it out. It needed to highligh the ways in which we can deliberately disengage and recharge. What to do when we are NOT being connected to work, the mission, or the goal of our organization. A deliberate and thoughtful plan for turning it on and turning it off.

Indeed, at an event of project managers in Washington DC in September, 87% of the audience said they had burned out at some time in the career. Another 4% were not sure. That is a pretty horrible and frightening statistic!

Turning on and off

Several years ago, I saw a one man show by Stephan Wolfert called “Cry Havoc!”[ii]. He shared his experience of the military and what he said struck a chord. That for so many veterans the experience is one of being primed to behave in a certain way, to protect your “brothers and sisters”, to react quickly to cues, and, in the extreme to kill other people. What we don’t do is unprime them. We don’t show them how to react in ways that better fit civilian life. Or even better, we don’t show them how to CHOOSE.

It is not as extreme this workplace burnout phenomenon, but I believe we have been doing the same thing with our engagement policies at work.

Ever since Gallup started to tell us how low the level of engagement is at work, and how destructive negatively engaged people are in the workplace, we have been compensating with a wide range of engagement initiatives. My book is a small part of that. What it needs is the other side. What it needs is balance.

At the American Association of Administrative Professionals conference recently I took copies of my book to give away. At the start of one of the sessions I was leading I mentioned that it was the book I wish I had not written. The audience laughed before realizing that I was serious. Then one audience member said, “so when are you going to write the version you WISH you had written?”

Wise question. I will be revising the content of the original book over the next few months. AND I plan that by the end of 2023 the other half will be available… The focus will be what organizations can do to create environments that foster growth and resilience rather than burnout!

The original book is Be A Project Motivator: Unlock the Secrets of Strengths-based Project Management and it is available directly from the publisher here: https://www.bkconnection.com/books/title/Be-a-Project-Motivator as well as Amazon and all major book distributors. I would love your feedback and suggestions about what the new book needs.

Help me to name the new book too! The best I have come up with is Wind up, Wind down. An organizational guide to a balanced life. Got a better idea? Let me know in the comments or by email at [email protected].

Ruth Pearce is a coach, author, speaker and trainer. Her first three Linkedin Learning courses on Character strengths, mindfulness, and burnout are already available. Her fourth course on Bravery comes out later this year.

Ruth lives in North Carolina near the Cape Fear River with her husband, two dogs, two rabbits and lots of soul nourishing nature all around.

Check out Ruth's LinkedIn Learning courses with this link:

https://www.dhirubhai.net/learning/instructors/ruth-pearce

Or select the course you are interested in below:

[i] Berrett-Koehler is a wonderful independent book publisher and I am enormously grateful that they supported the publication of my book and continue to do so! Find out more about them here: https://www.bkconnection.com/ also Berrett-Koehler Publishers

[ii] Stephan Wolfert is the founder of De-cruit and organization that helps military veterans transition out of their role into civilian life. You can find out more about him and the organization here: https://www.decruit.org/about/ and DE-CRUIT INC