Why Most People Are Getting Networking Completely Wrong

I am sure everyone has experienced a degree of this issue. For me it was a recent "request" which was essentially asking me to provide my experience and insight and even write a fairly comprehensive report for someone I did not know for free. As a freelancer it is frustrating when my time or experience is undervalued like this, but the more glaring error was the way that the person went about it. There was nothing in it for me, it was not someone I knew or would feel like I would be inclined to help as I liked them. It was a the equivalent of a mass email campaign, did not feel at all valued, in fact felt unappreciated.

I am by no means an expert networker, I actually do not like the term. However, as I have a background in sales I do understand the vital importance of relationship building. People buy from people, they help people they like, they support people they trust. It is in our nature overwhelmingly to help friends and family and to be pleased to do so when someone reaches out for our help.

And like any relationship it has to feel balanced and something you want to be part of. We do not tend to keep friends who take all the time, we even talk about red flags in our romantic relationships which include selfish behavior like this. No one wants to be seen as a tool or a resource, but we all like having friends and social engagement, so why would I treat someone whose guidance or help I am seeking as a tool?

I have made a number of mistakes, have a think about which of these seem familiar!

Think about the last time you reached out to someone on LinkedIn or in any professional capacity. Maybe you sent a connection request with no message, or worse, you followed up immediately with a sales pitch.

If that sounds familiar—you’re doing it wrong.

Here’s the hard truth: The best networkers don’t “network.” They build relationships.

What Most People Get Wrong About Networking

? They think more connections = more opportunities. (Spoiler: It doesn’t.) ? They reach out only when they need something. (That’s not how relationships work.) ? They focus on what they can gain instead of what they can give.

?? The people who truly win at networking do one thing differently: They give value before they ask for anything.

How to Actually Build a Network That Works for You

1?? Engage first, connect later. Before sending a request, comment on their posts, add insights, and start a real conversation. 2?? Personalize every message. Be Specific - What was it about what they said that chimed? Get out of the shallows and into deep “Hi (--------) I loved your article on () , as it gave a really fresh take on the () market that I had not heard before. I would love to learn more from you about your take on () ” 3?? Be sincere and authentic People sense sincerity and respond to it, equally they will be put off by inauthentic or insincere communication 4?? Give before you take. Share a useful resource, make an introduction, or offer genuine insights without expecting anything in return. 5??Follow up, but don’t be annoying. The best connections are built over time—not forced in the first message.

The Power of Relationships Over Random Connections

?? The CEO who gave me an opportunity wasn’t someone I cold-pitched—it was someone I built a relationship with months before. ?? The best career move I made wasn’t from a job application—it came from a conversation with someone I helped years ago.

People don’t tend to help who they don’t know. They help who they trust.

Your Challenge:

Next time you reach out to someone, ask yourself: Am I building a relationship, or just adding another name to my connections?

?? What’s the best networking lesson you’ve learned? Drop it in the comments!

#Networking #PersonalBrand #LinkedInGrowth #RelationshipsMatter #CareerGrowth #ThoughtLeadership #BuildYourNetwork