Why Most People Can't Even Imagine What They Really Want
I'm in the middle of a months-long exercise to describe my Expansive Life Vision, which is the best possible life I can imagine.
Why, you might wonder, would it take months to complete such an exercise? Why can't I just take 30 minutes, dream big, and then write down what comes to mind?
Human beings don't work that way. We spend our entire lives being told what we can't do:
Much like climbing a mountain, you can't see the true summit from the bottom of the mountain. In a similar manner, we can't see our best possible life from where we are standing today.
It's simply too bold.
Too outrageous.
Beyond any "realistic" outcome.
Completely f#cking crazy.
No matter who you are or how bold your life has been so far, there's a bolder and more vibrant version hidden deep inside you.
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I've probably written 15 versions of my Expansive Life Vision so far, which describes my best possible life according to 24 separate variables such as Personal Growth, Time Freedom, and Current Income.
Each one has been too constricted, too lame and too meek.
Every single one.
I think I'm being ridiculously over-the-top and then a day goes by and I read it again, asking myself, "Is this the best possible life I can imagine?"
Nope. It isn't.
Imagine, for example, that in your best possible life, you feel unconditionally loved by every single member of your family and by every single one of your close friends. Also imagine that you give yourself this sort of unconditional love. That, I bet, would already be a sea change from today's reality.
But now imagine what else in your life would change when you felt that way? It would be an entirely different life and you would probably make dramatically different choices.
In my experience working with others, the most terrifying question I can ask them is, "What do you want?" It is terrifying because we haven't gone up one ladder after another after another, rising above the fog that surrounds us and reaching towards the magical life that is actually within our reach, if only we resolve to start climbing up.
I magnify the talent of other people. Like you, for example. I am a?co-creator?who partners with entrepreneurs, consultants and coaches to help develop and share your best ideas. Please?contact me?if you would like my help.
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Committed dispute resolution services. #AnnaMediates
2 年Bruce - can you share the "24 separate variables" that you are articulating in your Expansive Life Vision? I am totally intrigued and eager to launch my own exercise.
Composer / Producer - by Alsound - Creating original sound and music for Brands, Agencies and Directors.
2 年That's probably the most asked question! ??
Gov't reform advocate. Ex-Treasurer, Board of Directors and Vice President of Public Policy at Confluence Ballet Co., USF School of Public Affairs Master of public administration (MPA) program alumni.
2 年“No matter who you are or how bold your life has been so far, there's a bolder and more vibrant version hidden deep inside you.” Love it. So, I love your content as of late. Thank you.
Fortifying Sales Growth, Account Managment and Customer Success
2 年I like your post. The question about being loved unconditionally is so powerful because I think I'm one of the lucky ones for whom it's true. I forget. Today I'm almost recovered from seeing life through the lense of a (and I hate this word) victim of narcissistic abuse. I can see it's the past, and in the rear view mirror the memories are getting smaller and smaller as I move forward. Animals need time and love to heal from abuse and so do humans. They carry with them residual memories that are hard to erase. There are so many wonderful people in my life, and a God of my understanding, that surely I am free. Thank you for your thought provoking post.
Owner of NotJustASpouse.com | Coach for Trailing Spouses
2 年Thank you for sharing, Bruce. I couldn't agree more. What do I actually want is a very tough one.