Why Most Leaders Focus on the Wrong Things First

This week on Love and Leadership we discussed Simon Sinek 's Start with Why.? It sparked an insight that keeps haunting me: success might be the biggest threat to great leadership. Let me explain why, and how understanding this paradox could transform your approach to leadership.

The Success Trap

In our latest episode, we explored a revealing moment at an MIT gathering. When asked who had achieved their financial goals, 80% of highly successful entrepreneurs raised their hands. But when asked who felt successful, almost every hand dropped. This stark contrast illuminates a crucial truth about leadership: achievement and success are not the same thing.

Achievement comes from pursuing and attaining what you want. Success comes from being clear about why you want it in the first place. This distinction matters more than you might think.

The Golden Circle: More Than Just a Framework

Sinek's famous Golden Circle concept – the what, how, and why of organizations – isn't just another business framework. It's rooted in neuroscience. The outer circle (what) corresponds with the neocortex, responsible for rational thought. The inner circles (how and why) align with the limbic brain, which handles feelings and decision-making.

Here's the fascinating part: the limbic brain has no capacity for language. This explains why we often struggle to articulate why we're drawn to certain leaders or brands, yet feel it strongly. It's also why focusing purely on rational benefits often fails to inspire lasting loyalty.

The Real Reason Apple Keeps Winning

Consider Apple, a company that commands extraordinary loyalty despite not always having the best features or lowest prices. Their why – challenging the status quo and empowering individuals – has remained consistent since the 1970s. This why permeates everything from their product design to their marketing, creating a coherent story that resonates with their audience's limbic brains.

The Celery Test

One of the most practical takeaways from our discussion was Sinek's Celery Test. Imagine getting advice from successful people: one says you need M&Ms, another swears by Oreos, a third champions rice milk, and a fourth advocates for celery. If you buy them all, your shopping cart sends a confused message about who you are and what you believe.

But if you're clear on your why – say, promoting health – the decision becomes simple. You'd choose celery and rice milk, creating a coherent message that attracts people who share your values.

The Innovation vs. Novelty Trap

Many organizations confuse innovation with novelty. Innovation transforms how we live (like Apple changing how we consume music). Novelty just adds features. When you're clear on your why, you're more likely to pursue genuine innovation that serves your core purpose rather than chasing novelty for short-term gains.

The Law of Diffusion and Market Penetration

Understanding why you do what you do becomes crucial when you consider the Law of Diffusion of Innovation. Mass market success only happens after you've penetrated 15-18% of your market. These early adopters aren't just people willing to buy your product – they're people who share your beliefs and want to incorporate your ideas into their lives.

The Leadership Challenge

Here's where it gets tricky. As organizations grow, the founder's gut-level decisions (driven by their why) get replaced by data-driven choices. The why becomes fuzzy, and the split happens – what worked in the beginning stops working, even though nothing seems obviously wrong.

This is why success can be so dangerous. It tempts us to focus on what's working rather than why it worked in the first place.

Three Practical Steps Forward:

1. Clarity of Why: Can you articulate your organization's purpose in simple terms that connect with people's emotions?
2. Discipline of How: Are your systems and processes (especially hiring) aligned with your why?
3. Consistency of What: Do all your actions, from marketing to culture, reflect your core purpose?

In our discussion, we realized that most leadership problems stem not from a lack of competence but from a disconnection from purpose. When leaders lose touch with their why, they resort to manipulation rather than inspiration, features rather than transformation, and data rather than intuition.

The path forward isn't about choosing between data and intuition, or between what works and why it works. It's about ensuring your what and how remain firmly anchored to your why.

As we covered in the episode, this isn't just philosophy – it's practical business sense. Companies with a clear sense of why tend to inspire greater loyalty, attract better talent, and maintain their success over longer periods.

The question isn't whether you're successful by conventional metrics. The question is whether your success flows from and reinforces your fundamental purpose. Because when it doesn't, that success might be the very thing putting your leadership at risk.

Want to hear more from this discussion? Listen to the full episode of Love and Leadership where we break down these concepts and more with practical examples and actionable insights