"Why Mentors Need Mentoring, Too"

Mentors matter! First of all, I’m a huge proponent of mentorship. I mentor about a dozen young people a year. I also have several mentors that I engage with frequently. Oftentimes, professionals get to a point in their careers where they are more concerned with giving back, and they become mentors to other budding young people. This form of life support can enhance any personal or professional development effort. But, what exactly counts as mentoring?

Mentoring is a coordinated, collaborative, and mutually beneficial relationship between someone with superior knowledge, skills, or experience and someone else with less knowledge, skills, or experience. The mentor is the person with more knowledge or experience, and the mentee is the person with less knowledge or experience. A mentor can be younger than a mentee, and a mentor may be less experienced in other areas than the mentee. A Forbes article stated that "76% of people think mentors are important but only 37% have one." Huh? Don't believe me? Read it here: (https://www.forbes.com/sites/christinecomaford/2019/07/03/new-study-76-of-people-think-mentors-are-important-but-only-37-have-one/)

Mentoring has many benefits:

• Increases life or career fulfillment
• Encourages the development of intellectual capital, skills, or competencies
• Extends one's personal or professional network
• Offers personalized guidance or training
• and more!

Many students and professionals often ask me who they should consider as their mentor. Well, there are two types of mentors - personal mentors and professional mentors.?Personal mentors can support your growth as an individual. This growth could be in areas of maturity, mental strength, anger management, goal clarity, or confidence. You may find personal mentors in your neighborhood, in your family, through friends, or even on social media.

Professional mentors are people who can support your professional goals, such as improving professional skills or career advancement. For instance, you may want to learn how to improve your negotiating skills or how to break into a certain industry. You may find professional mentors at events, in your network, through advisors or colleagues, or on social media.

So far, I’ve explained to you why you should consider getting or being a mentor. But, why do mentors need mentoring??

Many of us have heard of S.M.A.R.T. goals. Smart goals are goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. When we apply that tool to mentorship, it requires us to have a plan and coordinated proposal of support to grow the mentee. How many mentoring relationships have you participated in that were that detailed or intentional? Probably not many.?Oftentimes, a mentor is described as someone you have exchanged numbers with along with the hope to be able to call upon them when you need them. What if you don't know what you need or how to ask for it?

Mentors need mentoring, too! Here’s what I mean:

• For a relationship to be successful and effective, mentors must have guidance on how to connect with a mentee. These social skills and communication skills are vital to establishing the trust needed to engage the mentee.?
• The mentor must have goals set for what they hope to be accomplished through the relationship and a plan for achieving it. It must be an intentional effort to add value to the mentee’s skills, needs, and objectives.?

• The mentor must set the expectations for the relationship. Far too often, the mentoring relationship becomes nothing more than an exchange of phone numbers with no real consistency of effort toward progress. A mentee doesn’t know what he or she doesn’t know. Remember, as you lead the relationship, sometimes you must be prepared to meet them where they are.?
• Lastly, mentors must take the relationship seriously and devote the time necessary to meet the mentee needs. Sometimes, really successful people agree to mentor a young person only to drop the ball on their end of the relationship. I’ve been guilty of this. Young lives are depending on your consistent support, so be honest with yourself about your ability to meet their needs in the midst of your current time demands. We are losing entirely too much intellectual capital due to unengaged and overwhelmed mentors. Just say NO to the relationship if you cannot meet their needs.?

I hope that if you are a current mentor, this article inspires you to be a better mentor. Be more engaged and challenge yourself as you challenge your mentee.?

If you are looking to mentor someone, I hope you now understand the expectations for YOU in that relationship. You can do it, but you must be intentional about what you’re hoping to help your mentee accomplish.?

If you are a mentee, know that this is a learning experience for your mentor as much as it is for you. Give him or her a little grace, but keep asking for what you want and need. We must GROW together. Here’s to more impactful mentoring!

Huge THANK YOU to my many mentees and mentors over the years!

Dr. Janice Hilliard

Monique A.J. Smith

Dr. Niki Bray

Walt Shinault

Harry Swayne

& MORE