Why Mentor?

Much of my professional success and a good deal of my personal accomplishments have been guided over the years by a few trusted, selfless mentors. They’ve helped me make strategic decisions. They’ve taught me how to overcome adversity. They even coached me through times I needed to forgive myself after a mistake.

Today is National Mentoring Day. It’s a day I intend to use to reconnect with my mentors and thank them for helping steer me to where I am today.

Being a mentor is more than serving as a guide for a student or young professional. Being a mentor means you play a significant role in the life of your mentees as they grow and accomplish their goals.

The importance of mentoring is indisputable. Of people with mentors, 97% say their relationship with their mentor is valuable. Yet, only 37% of professionals report having a mentor. In one study of 1,000 employees, those with mentors were five times more likely to be promoted than employees without a mentor.

That sounds like a great deal for the mentees. Here’s a surprise though. In the same study, the mentors were six times more likely to be promoted than those who didn’t mentor. It’s fair to acknowledge that there might be bias in the data. People selected to be mentors or mentees might already be identified as high-performing or high-potential employees giving them an advantage for promotion.

Regardless, being a mentor is an incredible opportunity to gain skills from mentees. I first became a mentor nearly 30 years ago. At the Hennepin County Juvenile Detention Center, I was matched with a 17-year-old named Teddy. Despite our vast differences, we created a close relationship that included letter exchanges while he was in prison and a trip to visit him in Kansas City after his release.?

From there, I’ve continued mentoring through Big Brothers Big Sisters, A Better Change and the Inner City Ducks - which I co-founded with one of my inspiring mentees, Shakeel Nelson.?

I have been Shakeel’s Big Brother since he was nine. We’d play basketball together, cook meals and talk about anything he wanted to ask. Our memories even include a trip to San Antonio to watch the NCAA Men’s Basketball Final Four.

Those memories will endure, but more than that, his lessons have helped me become a better person. Spending time with his loyal family taught me that living a rich life has nothing to do with money or wealth. They have an abundance that most families will only be able to envy.

Before I had my own team at work, I practiced using the levers of motivation on Shakeel. I honed my ability to give feedback, build trust, provide recognition, fill him with a sense of accomplishment and work on his development. He was my test subject as I learned to become a leader. ?

Relating to and connecting with people who come from different backgrounds has become a valued capability in business. Almost every single mentee I have had has dealt with racism, poverty, and marginalization. I can’t say that I will ever understand what they go through, but knowing them has shaped my desire to help create a fairer world.

The final and greatest gift I received from my mentees was completely unexpected. It was a gift of confidence. Had I not been a mentor over the years, I don’t think I would have made the decision to become a father. Seeing the development of my mentees helped me overcome the doubt I had about being a parent. Two children later, I have those mentees to thank for letting me enjoy their growth and helping me make the best decision I have ever made.

It’s been 18 years since Shakeel and I first met. He is a man now with a desire to make a difference in the lives of many young people. When he and I started the Inner City Ducks in 2018, there was one football team with 13 boys involved. Now we have 100 boys ranging in age from 5 to 14.

We are teaching these boys to be the leaders of tomorrow. Shakeel once told me “I really look at these kids as my kids.” The mentee has become the mentor!

The gratification I get from watching this is priceless.

To be a mentee is to make a commitment to accelerate your development with the help of someone who has your best interests in mind. The rarely mentioned byproduct of your relationship will be the lessons and influence you have on your mentor. If you’ve been fortunate to have someone invest in you as your mentor, take a moment to thank them. They will likely thank you back.

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