Why Men Shouldn’t Be Friends with Thieves: Lessons from Proverbs

Subtitle: A Biblical exploration of avoiding sinful alliances, especially in leadership roles.

Quote: “He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.” – Proverbs 13:20

The Power of Community

If there’s one lesson I’ve heard time and time again, it’s this: community is everything. Our environment shapes us, for better or worse. God has provided His Word not just for spiritual guidance, but for practical wisdom to succeed in all areas of life. The question is, are we reading it and applying it?

In a recent article, I spoke about integrity and how God’s Word is transforming me. I'm grateful to admit I don't always measure up, knowing that God’s grace is enough. As Jesus said, “I didn’t come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.” Like psychology experts emphasize, acknowledging a problem is the first step to healing and growth.

The Importance of Choosing Your Friends

Growing up, my parents had a saying: "birds of a feather flock together." After my father passed, my mother would remind us, “If you're with them, you're guilty—even if you didn’t do anything.” Now I see how this aligns with biblical truth. We must be mindful of the company we keep, as our friendships can either help or harm us.

God has given us clear wisdom on this in the Bible. Proverbs repeatedly warns against aligning with foolish or sinful people. A strong, godly community not only helps us thrive but shields us from destruction.

Leadership Lessons from Proverbs

This applies not just to our personal lives but to leadership as well. Whether in the home, at work, or even when considering our nation’s leaders, we should pray that God surrounds them with wise counsel. Here’s what Proverbs teaches about leadership:

1. “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” - Proverbs 11:14
2. “Take away the wicked from before the king, and his throne will be established in righteousness.” - Proverbs 25:5
3. “If a ruler pays attention to lies, all his servants become wicked.” - Proverbs 29:12

As men, we can’t isolate ourselves. A few years ago, I took a step that changed my life: I reached out to five godly men and asked them to be my advisory team. I wanted them to have a front-row seat in my life—to hold me accountable and to be there for my wife when we didn’t agree on major issues.

Here’s how it works: my wife has each of their numbers. If we have a conflict or I’m acting out of line, she can reach out to them. Over the years, these men have called me, asking about issues my wife raised. I don’t belittle her for doing so; in fact, I welcome it. Why? Because I know this accountability protects me from my own worst instincts. Without it, I’d likely self-destruct.

The Dangers of Ungodly Alliances

When it comes to business or friendships with ungodly individuals, the consequences can be devastating. Look no further than the Enron scandal or the 2008 financial crash—both stemmed from alliances with dishonest, greedy people. You can’t expect success if you surround yourself with thieves looking for shortcuts.

A recent example is Greg Walker, a man who appeared successful on the outside but ended up in prison for wire fraud. Greg was surrounded by the wrong crowd and wasn’t surrendered to Christ. After serving 3 ? years in prison, God redeemed his life. Today, he shares his story to help others avoid the same mistakes.

The Takeaway

Find a healthy, godly community—even if it’s just one person. Your success or failure is closely tied to the people you surround yourself with. As Charles Tremendous Jones said, “You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.”

Parents, we need to set our children up for success by putting them in positive environments and connecting them with good, godly people. We must lead by example in our own friendships and relationships, seeking wisdom and accountability in all areas of life.

We'd Love to Hear From You!

If this newsletter resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts and stories. Let’s build a strong community of men striving for integrity and growth in all areas of life.

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Lastly, don’t forget to pre-order my new book on Amazon—it’s packed with insights that can transform your life. You can find it here. And if you're looking for a godly community, Toolbox Ministries and FIND - Fellowship in Discipleship are fantastic places to start. Reach out to the leaders Tom Douthit and Clint Harrington to get connected!