Why men need female mentors

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Is our current thinking on mentorship a bit sexist?

Executive coach Rania H. Anderson poses this question in a recent Harvard Business Review column. We have long been told about the benefits of having senior men mentor women lower down the corporate ladder. But this fixation may be encouraging us to overlook a sizable cohort of unsung corporate heroes: senior women who are mentoring not just women, but men as well. 

Women, especially those who are early in their career, face an uphill battle finding a mentor: Nearly half of women report not having access to the kind of senior leaders who could serve as effective mentors, according to a global survey by Egon Zehnder. But to diversify leadership in the modern workplace, we’ll need to hear more from women who have ascended the professional heights and have opted to lend a hand to all those working their way up. 

“These stories ... can help change the narrative of only women needing the support of men to succeed,” writes Anderson. “Everyone needs strong mentors, sponsors, and leaders in their careers.” 

I asked my network if it’s common in the current workplace for men to seek mentorship from women. The answer was a resounding yes. 

Tom Hood, the CEO of the Maryland Association for Certified Public Accountants, shared that in his 23-year term as CEO, he has had at least 10 female mentors. He credits these relationships as having “the biggest impacts on [his] leadership style.” 

And many, many men shared stories about how having female mentors gave them a fresh perspective. Sam Bleiberg, who works in marketing at EnergyHub, told me that his first boss — a woman — taught him how to effectively communicate his workload to avoid burnout. 

For entrepreneur QuHarrison Terry, women mentors offered him a better sense of what shapes a company’s culture. “This sounds simple, but unfortunately if you’re a male focused on growth in a high speed environment there’s times where you’re not acknowledging the emotional and psychological values that create culture,” he said. 

The teachings go both ways as well. When Deloitte Business Analyst Ben Moelis sought out Sanyin Siang, the Executive Director of the Fuqua/Coach K Center on Leadership & Ethics, as a mentor in school, she taught him the importance of picking great managers to work for, as opposed to just exciting projects. In turn, he taught her about certain blindspots she had about mentoring young men who participated in fraternities on campus. 

“For me, this compliment taught me that while in my own head I may be thinking one thing or my personality may be a certain type, those around me are not always on the same page,” he said. 

When communications consultant Kevin Anselmo was trying to expand his business, he reached out to Pure Performance Communications CEO Deidre Breakenridge for help. His logic was simple: Her business was achieving what he hoped to achieve one day. “I just happened to admire her work and admire the way she went about her work,” he said. 

Why don’t we hear more of these stories? For one, reporters like me aren’t seeking them out often enough. But there is also an assumption across corporate America that if female executives are going to spend time mentoring, they should be devoting that time to other women. 

My take: If we’re going to ask male executives to be gender blind when picking mentees, we should expect the same from female leaders as well. Otherwise, we’ll continue to work in separate, gendered silos. 

I want to hear from you. Are you a man whose career was helped from the mentorship or sponsorship of a female leader? Let me know your story in the comments below.  

What’s Working

Getting on the corporate ladder. This newsletter focuses a lot on how to reach the next big step in your career. But what if you’re starting from the bottom and just trying to get in?We went live with Dress For Success Worldwide CEO Joi Gordon about how her organization is helping more than 1 million women get hired, promoted and pay down debt in the process. You can watch the stream above.

More than ever. Twelve of the 113 directors of U.S. top-grossing films in 2019 were directed by women, up from just five in 2018. The finding comes from the Annenberg Inclusion Initiative at the University of Southern California. Last May, I sat down with Annenberg Inclusion’s founder, Dr. Stacy L. Smith, where she predicted that these numbers were trending in the right direction. “Hollywood has finally received the memo, read it, and they are starting to hire differently in terms of who gets to lead storytelling,” she said. See the clip above. [NYTimes] 

• Related: Netflix is outpacing Hollywood by almost double when it comes to producing films with female directors. [Quartz] 

No ‘flavor of the month.’ Redfin CEO Glenn Kelman openly admits that having a diverse team is not his No. 1 priority, but it is consistently a top five priority for him. “It can’t be the flavor of the week where, when I’m talking to a group of women or some people of color or some diversity advocates, it’s suddenly really important, until I walk out of that room and don’t care about it,” he tells Adam Bryant. [LinkedIn] 

Four-day work week win. Finland’s new 34-year-old Prime Minister Sanna Marin is in support of a four-day work week for workers in the Nordic nation. The endorsement is step in the right direction for a country that has long led the conversation on flexible work. “I believe people deserve to spend more time with their families, loved ones, hobbies and other aspects of life, such as culture,” she said. [CNBC] 

Who’s Pushing Us Forward

Saving Australia. With the devastating fires in Australia, it seems foolish to be writing about anything else. If you want to support businesses looking to recover, here’s some more info on how. 

What topics do you want to discuss next week? Let me know in the comments below using #WorkingTogether