Why Not Me? The Time To Seize "The Moment"

The Time To Keep Secrets, Be Deceptive, Tell Lies And Win For Purpose.

Understanding your “moment,” for some of us can prove to be a struggle. For me, throughout the majority of my life, I didn’t look for that moment. In the law enforcement community, if you are not an “alpha dog,” your career path will be chosen for you. I’m kind of a mixed breed between the ability to be an “alpha dog,” and my true self, my inner being is a more reasonable and empathetic creature. This made it difficult for me to survive throughout my entire career. It was difficult to find clarity, to follow my heart and still be able to match it all with my motivations. So, when my “moment,” came, it didn’t strike me as real out of the gate. In fact, at first, I didn’t even see it.

 I’ve spent so much of my adult life and career with the daily mind consumption of survival and accomplishment, that when looking back, I feel like I’m watching a movie. I failed to be present most times, I failed to feel accomplished most times, I failed to embrace “moments,” most times. And sometimes, I just failed.

Coming on the job at 23 years old and looking like I was still 18, was at that moment a disadvantage to me. I believed, as small dogs do, that the louder I bark the less I’ll have to bite. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Until one day, a door in my brain opened, that had never been opened before. Picture a big heavy magical stone door in a cave that when all the right actions in the right orders happen, that door slides to the left and a treasure sit’s behind it. That treasure is yours. (I have Raiders Of The Lost Arc in my mind.)

One day, back in 2014, my department announced a promotional exam to the rank of Sergeant. At first, I had no interest, I grew up wanting to be a police officer, never thinking about being a “boss.” It was that “in-the-box,” limited thinking, that became my habit and unknowingly was completely holding me back. Until one day, I sat back after a particular conversation with a fellow officer, the details of which I won’t share here, but by listening more than talking, it awoke something in me.  At that moment, I asked myself, “Why can’t it be me?”

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“….Man Is Ultimately Self-Determining. Man Does Not Simply Exist But Always Decides What His Existence Will Be, What He Will Become In The Next Moment.” -    Viktor E. Frankl

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Actionable Items To Make Opportunity Become Yours

1. Identify What You Want

2.  Decide That U Can Achieve It

3.  Ignite The Drive & Take Action

4. Educate Yourself On How To Accomplish It

5. Design, Plan And Launch Your Strategy

6. Commit Yourself To Succeeding And Dedicate The Time

7.  Right Your Mind, Body And Spirit- Keep Them All Healthy And In Tune

8.  Accept That There Will Be Struggle And Obstacles And Believe You'll Overcome Them

9. Keep Yourself Motivated To The Finish Line

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  I began to formulate a strategy in my mind that in order for it to work, it must be kept to myself. The strategy could be looked at, in hindsight as completely deceitful, deceptive and disrespectful to my competitors. But that fact is, it was exactly the opposite. During most of my life I’ve always self-evaluated and learned to be aware of my weaknesses, test taking was definitely one of them.

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I once got extra points and my A & P class in high school by joggling. I needed those point to pass the class. It’s a long story…

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I had and still have such respect for the Officer’s I was competing against, that I knew the effort and time would have to be put in. This was time away from my family, time away from social events a commitment to make my strategy work and walk that line of still coming out in the end respected.

During the lengthy promotional process I downplayed my desire and drive to get the promotion and most importantly, I put the time and effort in to be prepared. During the process I intentionally distracted my competition from my motivations to put myself as a non-contender, a no threat. I want to be clear, I never hurt anyone, my intentions were to reach and accomplish my goal, but to never disrespect my peers. I worked hard not to discredit my reputation or my moral and ethical character. I vowed to stay true to myself and respect those I competed against. It was the end purpose for me that helped keep me in line.

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If you do not have ill intentions, if you pride yourself on being a good person is there harm in finding your path to reaching a goal? You must accept the fact that as a good person you can still make moves, strategically, that gives you an advantage. In fact, you have to! 

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 I had rank throughout my career that were my mentors, I also had the ones that were, self-involved assholes and terrible leaders. My deepest motivation through the promotional process was to be the polar opposite of those dark souls. My drive, was to become a leader that my peers could respect, go to, trust and battle for. In this case and in my mind, the ends did justify the means. 

As I write this, my mind is battling about spelling out truths like this. Keeping secrets, deceitfulness, hidden motivations, it goes against the grain. I wrote an article a while ago and include it in some of my seminars that, I blame our mothers. I blame our mothers for being too kind, our mothers for teaching us not to lie. With the best intentions, did she make us, weak in the areas of advancement, personal growth and self-promotion and protecting ourselves from the evil that exists?

I have two boys now, 3 and 7 and my wife and I are also to blame for this possible tactical error. “Be Kind, Be Respectful, Be Nice.” But, when she’s not looking the point is made by me, “Don’t take anyone’s shit.”

The balance in life is real. Your motivations are justified. Your desires are true. Your drive and fight must come from within and must come with conviction, self-confidence and self-awareness.

People are succeeding and reaching their goals everyday…. Why Can’t That Be You?

By the way, on April 1st, 2015 I was promoted to the rank of Sergeant.

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