Why Mattering Matters: The Power of Feeling Missed

“What You Do Matters.”

A friend sent me a recent article about the concept of mattering and alerted me to the research in this area. I believe it represents a critical area that sometimes gets overlooked by leaders, organizations and colleagues. Many of us understand the importance of creating an inclusive environment where others can belong. As social beings, a sense of belonging is a core human need.

We Missed You

However, we can feel like we belong as a part of a group and yet still feel like we don’t matter. I can feel like I fit in with my department, unit or colleagues, but would I be missed? That’s the difference between belonging and mattering.

In response to the burnout and distress epidemic facing healthcare workers, in 2022 the U.S. Surgeon General proposed mattering as a key element of the ?Surgeon General’s Framework for Mental Health and Well-Being in the Workplace.

Here are some subtle ways that people can inadvertently get the message that they don’t matter at work:

Your voice doesn’t matter

• Failing to solicit input for decisions that affect them
• Openly criticizing ideas
• Dismissing suggestions with phrases like “that will never work.”
• Interrupting or talking over others

Your time doesn’t matter

• Allowing meetings to run late
• Expecting people to volunteer their free time for work-related events or training
• Demanding responsiveness during evenings, weekends, holidays or vacations

Your training or experience doesn’t matter

• Diminishing training or lived experiences of team members, particularly in younger and older employees
• "You’re too junior"
• "He’s too old"
• It is cheaper to have lesser-trained people do your job

Your well-being doesn't matter

• Unsustainable pace of work
• Chronic understaffing
• Not honoring the need for rest and restoration away from work

You are replaceable

• When people feel like a cog in the machine or an interchangeable part
• If you don’t do it, we’ll just get somebody else
• When people like you leave, they are easy to replace
• Referring to people in numeric terms like "vacancies" or FTEs, leaving them feeling like "just a number"

You are invisible

• Failure to recognize contributions or achievements
• Not addressing people by name
• Not noticing when somebody is missing or absent
• Not saying hello, good morning, or thank you

Even if a person has friends at work, or feels a sense of connection with their team they can still wonder if anyone would miss them if they were gone.

How can you show people that they matter?

Tell them

I was attending a bridal luncheon for a friend from college at a time when I was traveling and disconnected from community. Because I was on the road for work, I was often surrounded by strangers and felt invisible in some ways. She took time to write each guest a short note of encouragement. Her note to me was simple but brought me to tears: “What you do matters. Keep going.” I just needed to hear it and to be reminded.

Tell your colleagues and teammates how they matter. Try these phrases:

“Your ideas matter here. I can’t wait to hear what you think about this issue.”

“We missed you.”

“We couldn’t do this without you.”

“You are not replaceable.”

“We really need the _____ you bring to this team.”

?Show them

Show people that their time and well-being matter to you by honoring their boundaries and pushing for humane working conditions and reasonable workloads. If people are expected to ignore their own needs for work, they may start to feel that their well-being doesn’t matter. Show them by starting and ending meetings on time, being mindful of limiting activities outside of working hours, and not expecting people to volunteer their time for work or work-related training.

Show people that their ideas matter by creating a psychologically safe environment where people are encouraged to speak up without fear of retaliation. Thank people for their ideas and give them thoughtful consideration even if they can’t be implemented or acted upon. Refrain from public criticism when people have the courage to speak up.

?Remind them

Remind people how the work they do contributes to the broader goals of the organization. Connect their work back to purpose and meaning. Remind them how their ideas have shaped the team, or how their influence has made a positive impact. When people get discouraged or start to feel they don’t matter at the moment, sometimes they need a reminder of their contributions and worth over time.

?See them

Invisibility and mattering don’t go together. When people don’t feel seen, they start to feel they don’t matter. Taking time to connect with people, especially at lower levels of the organization is important. ??

In the healthcare setting, rounding is a great way to help people feel seen. When they feel that leaders think it is important to spend time with them, they feel more seen and mattering goes up. In contrast, if leaders are not visible or present, it can send the message that the unit, clinic or department doesn’t matter enough to take up the leader’s time.

Pay special attention to groups that may float to different areas, or to individuals that have fewer colleagues in the area. For example, a nurse assigned to one unit may get more feedback from their 15 colleagues that they matter compared to a single respiratory therapist who must float across multiple units. Trainees, residents, fellows, interns, and students are often viewed as transient and thus may need some extra encouragement that they matter.

In short, mattering matters. We have to be intentional about making sure people know it, see it, and feel it through our daily behaviors in the workplace.

Lead Well,

Katherine

Katherine A. Meese, PhD

For more on topics like this, check out my upcoming book with?Quint Studer?called The Human Margin: Building Foundations of Trust, coming 2024 from Health Administration Press.

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UAB Department of Health Services Administration?University of Alabama at Birmingham?UAB Medicine Office of Wellness