Why Marriage Has Become a Major Concern in the Indian Middle Class

Marriage is a significant topic in India, especially among the middle class. While it seems like a personal matter, the underlying reasons go beyond individual choices and are deeply rooted in societal myths, traditions, and economic factors. This article explores how irrational beliefs and behaviors shape society and how they affect individual lives, families, and even the country.

1. Myth of Caste and Status

One of the biggest reasons for marriage issues in the middle class is the deeply ingrained caste system. Many people still believe in the myth that some castes are superior by birth. This belief shapes their behavior, forcing individuals to focus on maintaining their "status" rather than prioritizing love or compatibility in relationships.

For example, many families will only allow marriages within their own caste to preserve their perceived social standing. This drastically reduces the pool of potential matches, leading to frustration, delayed marriages, and emotional struggles.

2. The Political Nature of Caste

Caste is not just a social or cultural idea; it has historically been a political tool. The high caste created myths and stories to maintain their control over resources and power. These beliefs were passed down for generations, supported by religious texts written by those in power.

Even today, this thinking persists in rural and middle-class India. For example, shopkeepers might treat two customers differently based on their caste, even if the "lower caste" person is more intelligent or capable. This inequality harms individuals and perpetuates divisions in society.

3. The Role of Capitalism in Marriage

In addition to caste, the rise of capitalism has added another layer of complexity to marriage in the middle class. Families now prioritize financial stability and material possessions when selecting partners. Criteria like owning property, having a government job, or being well-educated formally are seen as essential for a "good match."

This creates a situation where:

• People without significant financial assets or government jobs face difficulty finding a partner.
• Emotional compatibility and personal satisfaction are ignored in favor of status and material gain.

For example, a young man in his late twenties in my neighborhood is preparing for a teaching job. A relative once told him bluntly, "You need to secure a job soon, or you’ll remain unmarried forever."

4. The Middle-Class Dilemma

The Indian middle class is caught in a conflict between traditional values and modern aspirations. On one hand, they want to maintain the privileges and status associated with their caste and traditions. On the other hand, they are aware of the opportunities and freedom offered by modern, open cultures.

This results in:

• A reluctance to abandon outdated beliefs because their sense of security is tied to them.
• An inability to fully embrace modern ideas because it requires effort, responsibility, and a break from comfort zones.

5. The Historical Impact of Caste

The caste system's negative effects are not a new problem. History shows how it weakened India, making it easier for the British to take control. Since only the higher caste had access to education and resources, the majority of the population remained powerless and dependent.

Dr. Bhimrao Ambedkar, one of the greatest minds in Indian history, is an example of how determined individuals had to fight for education and equality. His life is a reminder that change is possible, but it requires collective effort.

6. The Way Forward: Individual Responsibility

While the government is working to address these issues, real change must come from individuals. Each of us has the responsibility to:

• Treat everyone equally, regardless of caste, class, or background.
• Move away from outdated myths and beliefs.
• Focus on skills, knowledge, and individual merit rather than birth or status.

7. How This Affects Marriage Satisfaction

When relationships are built on materialism or caste politics, they often lack emotional satisfaction. Arranged marriages, driven by status and wealth, may meet societal expectations but fail to create personal happiness.

Instead of prioritizing status, we need to build relationships based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values.

Final Thoughts This is my personal reflection and experience, and I share it not to blame anyone but to encourage awareness and change. We must educate ourselves and others, moving toward a more equal and open society. Let's treat everyone as individuals with unique skills and potential, rather than judging them based on myths or birthrights.

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