Mandatory Office Fun Must Die. 10 Things Leaders Must Do Differently...

I worked in tech for 16 years while doing comedy at night. And I worked at one particular start-up that grew into the world's first true search engine. Before Google. Fact: Google came knocking and tried to get us to buy them. Our execs said 'no thanks.' Yup. A story for another time.

Not to bag on MBAs. I *AM* one. And my company was as over-quota on MBAs.

Micro- and macro-aggressions on the regular for women and people of color. At one point, I had a boss named Doug. (it wasn't Doug). Doug was a Harvard MBA. He yelled at people all the time. He sucked up to the founders of the company. He worked 60 hours+ a week and expected it from us, too. There was a running bet in the office about how many times he would say 'Harvard' in a meeting.

I remember disagreeing with him several times on strategy. I was asked for my opinion. When I gave it, he launched into a yelling match at me and anyone else who disagreed. Safety? Nope. Fear? Yup.

The company had beer bashes every Friday and every other Friday, our team would do a 'required' get together at a local brewpub for food, drinks, 'forced fun,' etc. One week I was so spent from all the politics, everything, I opted out (I called it a beer-bro-testosteone-fest privately) and my boss told me that I wasn't acting like a team player. Mind you, this boss never had my back. A woman on the team not going was bad optics and it made him and his Harvard hair look bad, he said.

There it was: pressure to engage in mandatory office 'fun' that was anything BUT.

As one of very few women in this particular business group, life was hard enough and I was expected to go to whatever party-get-together this was and put a smile on my face. Meanwhile Monday through Friday it was never about being a team. Many of us didn't feel this way. And yet, many of the men I knew who agreed, still put on the 'team smiley face' and attended because they had to put in face time.

source: gratisography.com

Why Mandatory Office Fun - Hallmark of 'Command and Control' Culture Should Die

You have stories, too. For so many of us, "Mandatory Office or Team Fun (insert word here)" comes with a lot of emotional stuff. Rightly so. From forced birthday celebrations (queue 'Office Space' where Stephen Root's character gets 0 slices of cake!), to mandatory outings and events to dumb April Fool's shenanigans. I dig shenanigans when the company has a CREDIBLE reputation of treating people well.

That's exactly the issue: Mandatory Office Fun is like putting a bandaid on a gushing head wound and expecting THAT to heal the lack of psychological safety in dysfunctional environments.

To be even more blunt, I've joked for years that "mandatory puts the FU in FUN." Hey, truth in comedy.

The narrative AROUND mandatory office fun is a narrative that needs to die.

It's downright insulting, aggravating and stressful. And not most peoples' idea of a good time. A good time is being around people who value you, respect you and see you. Who have your back. Who you feel safe with. And that mandatory team-beer-bro-BS-fest-smile-and-suckitup- nonsense wasn't it.

Call it 'team bonding' all you want, leaders, but if during the week, your folks don't feel that they belong, are treated with respect, valued and made safe, and that bosses and co-workers have their backs, attempts at office fun are hollow, cheap and a slap in the face.

By the way, this company had slides, pool tables - all the trappings of "Silicon Valley Culture" at the height of the Internet boom. I lived it. While it had some fun times; many companies of this era were fraught with crazy work schedules for employees (zero work-life balance), runaway cash-burn rates, sexual harassment and discrimination and so much more.

This is true everywhere: Mandatory Office Fun ignores this very important point. You cannot mandate fun any more than you can mandate loyalty. People don't work that way. You're either a great place to work or not.

Mandatory Office Fun, then, should die 1,000 fiery deaths.

And in the wake of the Great Resignation and the emergence of hybrid work, I hope it does. I've written about this over the years and in the wake of hybrid teams it's bubbled up again as big topic.

People don't want it. They don't want hollow, performative expressions that obligate them to pretend everything is ok.

What Leaders Can Do: Organic Fun Requires Safety and Respect

So let's rewrite the narrative on fun. Mandatory sucks. And that is a shame because fun does matter. It is critical to healthy culture and employees.

Fun needs authentic, ORGANIC expression, of course. And it sits on a bedrock of safety. So here a few things that work in my experience and when I work with teams and companies.

1. Establish respect and psychological safety. Make it a point to work on this. Every day. Every meeting. That means having peoples' backs. And it means cutting down in toxicity. Toxic environments kill fun. Get rid of the a-holes. Do the work. And safety is everyone's job. Co-workers need to show up to support each other so people feel safe to play, laugh and experiment every bit as much as bosses should. Safety is everyone's job.
2. Create opportunities for fun; don't force it. With trust and group respect, organic fun will flow. Allow time in meetings for example for stories, a few exercises or group games or 'move reviews,' 'what did you this weekend' prompts...keep it light.
3. Keeping it light means keeping it optional. Let people opt out if they feel the need. You cannot mandate fun. Playing should feel fun and safe. Always. That means low-stakes.
4. Avoid competitive stuff. For example, certain teams are competitive. Nothing wrong with that. To keeps things light, don't make it a competition and beware of micro-cultures where it exists. In my experience, sales teams tend to be this way. So fun for them might also include optional exercises or meeting activities that work other muscles.
5. Make a point to connect frequently with your staff, team, all your workers regularly. Check-in emotionally often. People who sense you don't care how they are feeling don't feel like engaging in 'fun' stuff when it feels insincere.
6. Let groups decide what is fun for them. Every group is different. They feel differently, like and need different things. Your single moms and dads, for example, shouldn't feel pressure to do things that might be after work on their time. Most groups don't want to spend their after work hours on team stuff. Let teams determine what fun is for them if they want to make it more formal and structured. Organic every day fun matters more. If you prioritize safety daily, organic fun bubbles up naturally. Then, maybe your team might feel like making it more structured. Talk first; don't go planning a 'date' first.
7. Leaders can use structured and unstructured play. You can integrate fun with no expectations other than just connection. And that is huge enough - it doesn't have to play for any other objective at this point. Because connection is a big objective in and of itself and that has to happen before using fun activities for idea generation, for example. Connection FIRST; then Content. Then you also integrate fun games to get to ideas. That's where fun has a bit more of an outcome. If that works, you can also try more structured stuff. Leaders should not only give teams the chance to define it; leaders, give INDIVIDUALS time, too. For example. let people have time in their day just to recharge THEIR way. Maybe fun for them is riding a bike, or walking with a friend away from the team and work so they can come back a bit more refreshed.

8. Speaking of unstructured play...make sure your team has the ability to be spontaneous. Spontaneity is organic fun at its best and it comes again from high-trust. When teams are spontaneous, that means they feel safe. Leaders can create openness and space for spontaneity. Yes, planned spontaneity! LOL. Truth - leave space open rather than having over-packed agendas.

9. Nurture humor, leaders and everyone. I write a lot about this, too. Humor is bigger than jokes. It's stories, playfulness, being silly, trying new things, experimenting. Make it safe to do so. Encourage it. Model it. Reward it. Prove it. Create social proof so employees FEEL it when you say you have their back. Make sure humor is about experiences and never aiming at someone's expense. That will kill trust quickly.

10. Laugh every day. Create an environment of positive laughter that lifts people up. Laughter that is positive and comes from joy and good things - not punching down - is the best measure of healthy culture. Watch for people who laugh nervously or make it feel forced because those are hallmarks of a command and control culture.

Don't just walk away from culture where no one laughs joyfully.... RUN!!!!

What do you think? Let me know.

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I am on a mission to help people and companies unlock their natural humor and inner improviser for their own personal and professional transformation. Humor is bigger than you think!

An ex-tech marketing / communications exec who led teams for 16 years and an improviser and stand-up comedian for over 24 years, today I use improvisation and stand-up comedy techniques to transform leaders, (I especially love working with women leaders) and their companies into impactful human communicators who show up, speak up, and story tell playfully and powerfully so they can change their worlds (via my Brave Bold Story and Comedy bootcamps). I am a keynote speaker, Founder of Keeping it Human? and Author of "Stop Boring Me!" I still perform and teach stand-up comedy and improv. My 13 yro used to laugh at my jokes. Now I just knock on his bedroom door, throw red meat in, and run!

From Silicon Valley / Stanford to Second City and Stages beyond - I (and you) have a story to tell and humor is human AF.

You can follow my posts at . Visit me at my website,?keepingithuman.com.

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