Why Life Coaching for Black Men?
Life is predicated upon an ethic of justice, having little to do with legal structures or processes. Even our popular concept of justice—generally understood in Western societies as a transactional equity of quid pro quo to each party—has devolved to “what is or isn’t fair”. Instead, a justice ethic demands that we attend to whatever is required to afford dignity to each party to a circumstance, each member of a community, and each participant in an enterprise, whether producer or consumer. Each and every person must be afforded the freedom to pursue courses of action that assure dignity.
The problem is that we spend far too little time contemplating and then defining such essential concepts as freedom, justice and dignity. As Black men, we have been denied these essential human needs. My Gestalt training teaches that our denial has inspired a polarity to an opposite extreme, seeking human validation in equally unhealthy behaviors.
The polarity of Black freedom and captivity has found us limiting each other on the unhealthy basis of identity. Prevailing norms justify the restriction of human beings with sheer fantasies about how the “other”—undeserving of the privileges of self-indulgence—is unequivocally undeserving of it. Others are neglected dignity, with an unspoken assumption that they somehow deserve less freedom, lower social status, and whatever indignities accompany those with less.
Black men are but one example of “others” so ostracized. Throughout human history, hierarchies of privilege and power, authority and expertise have mistakenly created mythical altars of adoration for those at the top of such scaled approvals. Our Black lives have unwittingly redefined freedom as self-indulgence instead of self-determination. We too often feel free when we can engage in the most self-destructive choices: substance use, sexual activity without meaningful relationship, a wide variety of foods that contradict human wellness when excessively consumed and engaging in relationships without concerning ourselves with what may be defined best as “the wisdom of the village” as learned from our African heritage.
Self-determination, on the other hand, must include the filters of love, dignity, stewardship, generativity and wholeness when it is quintessentially defined. Without these, a life will find itself inevitably under the influences of social and somatic inertia that alienate, abstract and eventually destroy its authenticity. Keeping ourselves real requires that we have adequate self-love and of self-determination, counterbalanced by community and consciousness of the need to keep whole our ecosystems. In this way, we most genuinely are the human being that brings deep meaning to whatever we find ourselves doing.
However, our various social roles—as daughters and sons, brothers and sisters, friends and co-workers, or any variety of identities taken on to provide meaning and purpose for our lives—end up alienating or abstracting our lives from our crucial authenticity of being human beneath it all. Generational trauma from institutionalized racism has been a major obstacle for healthy defining of these roles by Black men.
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The goal of my life coaching is to assist a client’s personal discovery of their inherent dignity. A coach’s purpose is to help in the growth, development, awareness and empowerment of a client. My life coaching seeks to explore the ways in which we are socialized to abstract ourselves from our authenticity of being. I utilize multicultural, intellectual and ?psychoemotional training and practical experiences to co-create with my clients new and meaningful ways to maintain this vital focus on the genuine being of their humanity. The life client’s personal experiences and insights are the unmatched beacon for their deeper becoming.
I seek to help Black men to know themselves better, to do justice to themselves and their relationships, and to create for themselves a set of personal disciplines that prevent their abstraction from a more genuine and authentic course for a meaningful life. These Black men become pillars upon which to build healthier future generations.
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copyright 2023 Dr. Harold Massey | KaIRas Initiative?
Expert Facilitator, Public Engagement Consultant, Book Author
1 年Really insightful, Harold Massey! Good to see the great work you're doing!