Why the LGBTQ+ Pride Flag Matters

My husband and I have, for several years, hung a pride flag up outside of our house. We don’t just hang it in June. We normally hang it up around April when the snow melts and take it down when the weather turns cold in November. It’s not meant to be a political statement. We hang it because we’re a proud gay couple and because we want other LGBTQ+ people to know that our neighborhood is a safe and welcoming community.

We live in Toronto, the fourth largest city in North America, and our house is in the “core” of the city (meaning we don’t live in a suburb). We’ve lived here for over a decade and never had issues with homophobia from our neighbors or anyone else. Many other LGBTQ+ families live near us; we’ve always felt welcome and safe.

A few days ago, I noticed that our pride flag was missing. So I asked my husband what he had done with it. He asked me the same thing, thinking I had taken it down. We turned to our Ring camera doorbell to find out what had happened, and the video we saw took us by surprise.

On June 7, at 5:10 PM eastern, a man strolled up the walkway to our house. He walked onto our front porch, violently pulling down our pride flag. Then, as he walked away from the house, he raised his hands to celebrate his success. He had beaten the gay agenda.

I watched that video over and over in total shock. Had that happened? Did someone feel so entitled and superior that they felt it was ok to walk up to someone’s home and steal their property? I’ve seen this in smaller communities (that we assume to have a higher level of homophobia, transphobia and biphobia) but in Toronto? What if we had been around? Would he have assaulted us? Is he going to come back? ?

After the shock wore off and the sense of violation started to ease, it struck me that this is why pride flags are so important. Simply put: the world is not a safe place for LGBTQ2+ people, and pride flags symbolize safety. Consider the reality that LGBTQ+ people face:

• In 71 countries and jurisdictions, consensual relationships between two men are illegal.
• In 43 countries and jurisdictions, consensual relationships between two women are illegal.
• In 11 of those jurisdictions, the death penalty is the potential punishment for same-sex relationships.
• 15 jurisdictions have made it illegal for Trans* and gender-diverse people to exist.

If we just look at the North American context, we are still under attack. Florida recently passed legislation banning discussions about sexuality and gender in schools for students in grades three and below. The aptly dubbed “Don’t Say Gay” law effectively puts the safety of LGBTQ+ students, parents and teachers at risk. On June 8, Louisiana became the latest state to ban Trans* athletes from competing in school sports based on their gender identity, as opposed to their sex assigned at birth. They join 17 other states in passing transphobic laws that further stigmatize and marginalize Trans* and non-binary people. In 2021, more than 250 anti-LGBTQ+ bills were introduced in state legislatures, and the Human Rights Campaign has called that year the worst in recent history for state legislative attacks on LGBTQ+ people. If Roe v Wade can be overturned by the Supreme Court after 50 years, how far behind do you think Marriage Equality will be, regardless of the legal quagmire that action will create?

Like it or not, regardless of your personal experiences, many LGBTQ+ people encounter homophobia, transphobia and biphobia daily. The FBI reported that in 2020 there were 1376 hate crimes related to sexual orientation and gender identity – accounting for 22.7 percent of all hate crimes committed that year. As an LGBTQ+ person, you never know if you will face discrimination or violence just for existing.

Visibility is needed to send a message to the vocal minority that their behavior is not welcome. Here are some things you can do to be an active ally for LGBTQ+ people:

• Hang a pride flag either at home or at work. There’s even a straight ally flag that you can fly
• Stand up to homophobia, transphobia and biphobia, no matter how small the incident or the intention of the perpetrator
• Educate yourself on LGBTQ+ issues so you aren’t inadvertently doing something hurtful to LGBTQ+ people. Numerous books, podcasts, and websites will help improve your understanding.
• Include your pronouns in your email signature and online profiles to send a message that you understand your gender and are inclusive of others.

Homophobia, transphobia and biphobia are like fire: they need oxygen to exist. If everyone who sees themself as an ally to the LGBTQ+ communities were to step up and take action, homophobia, transphobia, and biphobia would cease to exist.

I now have a big flag pole hanging from my house with a much bigger Pride flag. Hate will not win here.?