Why The Lens You View The World Through Really Matters.

'The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes' Marcel Proust

I was coaching a team once.

Two members of their teams were at loggerheads. It wasn't a crisis, but could soon be if it wasn't addressed

They weren't seeing eye to eye.

They don't need to, I said

What do you mean? The team leader said.

The lens they look out at the world is very different. To get them to see 'eye to eye' would be like gouging their eyes out and trying to insert a new pair of eyes. Well I only said the first sentence. The second sentence was just in my head

What they can do is understand more about how the other person sees the world.

After some back and forth they both could see how their decision making processes and ways of working were different. One learnt from doing and taking action, The other liked to think through things first before taking action. It was a recipe for a clash. Their values and beliefs differed slightly too.

They could learn to meet in the middle a little middle. Agree to disagree at times. At a minimum respect where the other was coming from.

They left the session with greater clarity and fresher eyes.

We only have access to our own lens of the world so it's natural to assume that everyone else sees, or should see the same thing as you. If everyone conformed to my way of thinking, then all will be ok with the world. The world would make a dull place if everyone walked around wearing the same pair of shades though.

Most of us will have experienced going to the opticians for an eye test and trying on those funky looking glasses and reading the letters off the sheet.

What a good leader, or coach, can do is experiment and adjust the lenses to see if that makes your view clearer, or not. They might even help reveal a line of letters on the sheet that you didn't realise existed in the first place. They may even reveal a new sheet of of letters on them as you have been staring at the same ones for too long, and require some freshness.

That's why asking questions rather than being commanding all the time can be so powerful. It immediately shifts the attention to life behind the other's lens, rather than yours. I get that in some instances you have to impose your lens on others for immediate results. In the long run it may need be the wisest tactic though. Make more of an effort to understand others and they will go further for you. They won't operate from fear only.

A client I've been working with recently said that the realisation that other see the world through different lenses was a revelation to him. It allowed him to approach meetings with staff in a less directive manner. He made more effort for them to try and see the lens that he has of the world, and that has allowed him to become the managing director of the firm. He needed to communicate this more effectively as we forget that our lenses are invisible to others around you. That's why communicating what is obvious to you can help fill in the less obvious blanks for others.

On a personal level it makes sense to really understand the lens you look out at the world. To question the beliefs that form them in the first place. Not to ruminate but to reflect now again. You can't expect that others around you will do this too. That's a fruitless task. Better to concentrate on freshening your own lens.

If you're too attached to your lens of the world though it may mean you are blind to new ideas and possibilities. It's like that person who is adamant that their view at the opticians is correct, when in reality they can't even see the bottom line of letters.

It's humbling to admit sometimes that the letters can appear crystal clear one day and murkier the next. Maybe you can learn from the people around you whose lens of the world differs greatly to yours. To continuously expand your focus, rather than narrow it in as you age.