Why Kindness Matters in Leadership......

In the 1950s, at the height of the race related troubles in South Africa, Nelson Mandela was at the heart of the anti-apartheid movement, already an absolutely pivotal figure in the movement his views and abhorrence to the system was firmly established. He despised the oppression and injustice that system was generating and what it was doing to his beloved country.

In Johannesburg one day, he was walking away from a protest rally with a number of his fellow protesters. He had been a key speaker at the rally and spoken with huge passion of his complete hatred of the system of government and what it represented.

After a few hundred yards he noticed a white women stood next to her car…… she was visibly upset........

“Can I help,” he offered.

“Well, my car has broken down and I have no way of getting home safely.” She replied

“Let me have a look,” he said, and?after a bit of adjusting under the bonnet he got the car to start.

Grateful for his help, she offered him some money, Which he politely declined.

“But why would you help me?” she asked quizzically.

“Because you were stranded and I thought I could help.” Was his simple answer.

In 2006 Mohammed Ali attended a charity dinner as guest of honour, by then ravaged by Parkinson’s disease he dutifully sat and engaged throughout the dinner before signing lots of autographs and memorabilia. He then retired, having done more than anybody thought possible for a man with his illness.

After a late arrival one man bought a book of photos of the great man but was disappointed that Ali had retired, he asked one of Ali’s carers if he would take the book to Ali to get it signed for him. His carers knew Ali was shattered, but at the same time they knew his deep connection with his followers. A couple of minutes later the carer reappeared and asked him to come with him.... Ali invited the man to his room, signed the book and spent 15 minutes talking to the man about all his memories of the photos....

The evening before his first day in a new job Walter Carr’s vehicle broke down, it was beyond repair. To get to work on his first day he walked 20 miles and set off at midnight to make it.... eventually being helped by local police services along the way.?The CEO of Mr Carr’s new employer, Bellhops, was so inspired by his efforts and story that he gave him his own car for the future so he would not have to do that ever again.

The use of kindness and compassion is the great barometer of a leader’s perspective of those around them. It requires a leader to embrace the principle that to give will ultimately yield a higher level of desired outcome through an unswerving faith that people will return that action through higher engagement, commitment and loyalty. It also requires a leader to recognise that human fragility is not a weakness but an essential aspect of what we are and therefore needs to be approach from a position of tolerance and understanding not judgement and castigation.

If you believe that being nice shows weakness in your approach then you are missing one of the greatest truths of human nature .... that we all need support and positive recognition to excel and achieve things. A cruel heart never inspired anything other than fear and caution.

If you believe that to be nice allows you to deliver through superficial demonstrations of emotion towards colleagues then you under estimate the power of authenticity both in a positive and negative sense. People sense false behaviours towards them very quickly. Kindness is never about being a Gesture General – No leader should ever underestimate people’s ability to superficiality and call it out for what it is, either in an implicit or explicit fashion.

If you see being nice as a genuine heartfelt display of human emotion towards another person that can then help to fulfil needs and inspire individuals. When it is combined with a balanced approach of support and challenge, then you have unlocked the key to one of the great principles of human motivation......kindness.

The great challenge for leaders is its practical application on a day in day out basis. When the pressure is on, when you are not feeling in the greatest of spirits, when you are tired, when you are fractious – that is the time when a leader will truly show whether they embrace kindness in the choices they face to the scenarios that confront them. To embed a day to day mindset with compassion at its core leaders must

-??????Apply intelligent discretion.

-??????Operate with presence and proximity – to understand individual needs.

-??????Refine and apply listening skills.

-??????Aim to address their team’s “small” needs not just their own “bigger picture.”

-??????Apply individual solutions to individual situations – put the broad brush away.

-??????Appreciate that riles are not forever and need to review against circumstances and individual needs.

-??????Be prepared to go backwards before they can go forwards

-??????Embrace human spirit and accept it is not perfect

-??????Value pragmatism over ideology

-??????Bear the burden of support whilst others overcome difficulties

It is often quoted “what got you to one place may not necessairily get you to another.” In the case of kindness and compassion that is most certainly NOT the case. Senior leaders would do well to remember that in their early career stages, there success will be because they operated with proximity and understanding with front line colleagues. The temptation to be become isolated and aloof must be continuously fought against as a career is progressed.

To be nice is most certainly not a fault line of the weak, it is absolutely the bedrock of the strong. When delivered with genuine warmth and from the heart, as part of a balanced approach to motivate it shows strength, self assurance and empathy. Never be afraid to show you care. It is the greatest of all leadership emotions in helping to inspire others.

A Leader does not have to be kind. Like all choices for a leader, they have the privilege of freedom in the decisions they take. There are many forces that can work against its application. However, the leader that is kind and applies this approach day in day out will find that they generate a culture of trust, loyalty and goodwill that will far outweigh and outstrip any other route to sustained high performance.

And as the examples at the start show.... those individuals, no matter what their status, never ever fall into the trap of believing that you were too important or to grand to be nice....so why should we ever believe that to be the case.

Likes, thoughts and comments always appreciated.