Why Keeping Your Influencers to a Few Select People is the Key to Success

By: John F. Hendershot

In today’s hyper-connected world, it’s easy to become overwhelmed with the sheer number of opinions, advice, and feedback that are constantly being thrown at us. From social media influencers to industry experts, the opinions of others can flood our lives, creating a cacophony of voices. While many may think that listening to everyone is a path to success, the truth is, the most successful individuals and business leaders understand the power of selective influence. Choosing the right people to listen to, and trusting them to challenge and guide you, is the key to unlocking your full potential.

The Importance of Trust

Trust is the foundation of any meaningful relationship, especially when it comes to mentorship or seeking guidance. When you limit your circle of influence to a select few, you are better able to cultivate relationships rooted in mutual respect, honesty, and accountability. This level of trust allows those individuals to give you honest feedback without the fear of judgment or hurt feelings. They can challenge your thinking, push your limits, and offer wisdom that truly moves you forward.

This is not just about finding a mentor or advisor who tells you what you want to hear. In fact, the true value lies in the people who are willing to challenge you with tough love—those who have earned your trust and can provide the kind of wisdom that shapes your decisions and growth. As Warren Buffet, one of the world’s most successful investors, famously says, “It’s not about how many people you know, it’s about how many people you trust.”

Why Too Many Influencers Can Hurt You

When you have too many influencers in your life, it becomes impossible to discern whose advice truly matters. Everyone has their own agenda, their own biases, and their own version of what success looks like. This can lead to confusion, lack of focus, and indecisiveness. In contrast, a small group of trusted individuals allows you to filter out the noise and concentrate on the feedback that is most relevant and impactful for your goals.

One of the biggest pitfalls of having too many influencers is that they may not all have your best interests at heart. Some people, whether consciously or unconsciously, offer advice that is more about bolstering their own ego or advancing their agenda than about helping you grow. This is especially true in an era where anyone with a platform can claim to be an expert, regardless of their credentials or experience. As the saying goes, “Everyone’s got an opinion, but not everyone’s opinion is worth your time.”

The Reality of Most Advice

Let’s be honest: Most of the people out there offering advice are full of it. It’s easy to be distracted by flashy social media posts or overly confident voices on podcasts, but when you scratch beneath the surface, it often becomes apparent that these influencers haven’t done the necessary work themselves. They are more concerned with presenting an image than providing meaningful guidance.

Unfortunately, this can mislead many young entrepreneurs and business leaders into following advice that feels good in the moment but ultimately leads them down a dead-end road. The truth is, the world is full of lazy, uninformed people who rely on their emotions rather than sound logic or critical thinking. They give advice based on what “feels right” or what they think people want to hear, rather than what will actually work in the long term.

You don’t need to listen to everyone. In fact, by surrounding yourself with too many people who lack real substance, you risk wasting your time and energy. This is especially true in business, where success is often determined by a few key principles, and understanding these principles requires deep knowledge, commitment, and the ability to make decisions based on hard evidence—not emotional impulses.

The Value of Exemplar Influencers

In contrast, a select few influencers who are true exemplars in their fields—those who have a proven track record, a history of hard-earned success, and a genuine desire to see you grow—are invaluable. These individuals can act as your North Star, guiding you through the tough decisions and the difficult times. They have walked the path you’re on, and their advice is rooted in real experience.

These are the mentors who don’t just provide easy answers. They ask you the tough questions, challenge your assumptions, and hold you accountable for your actions. Their influence is not about validation; it’s about transformation. They can help you see beyond the superficialities of success and dig deep into the core principles that will make you successful in the long run.

For example, one of the most impactful pieces of advice I ever received came from a mentor who told me, “You will never be successful unless you learn to say no. No to distractions. No to the opinions that don’t matter. No to the advice that isn’t rooted in your goals.” It was a simple statement, but it cut through the noise and forced me to reconsider how I was spending my time and energy. That advice—given by someone I trusted and admired—was the turning point that shifted my perspective and helped me focus on what truly mattered.

Choosing the Right Influencers

The process of choosing the right influencers—whether mentors, advisors, or peers—is critical. Here are a few tips on how to approach this:

1. Look for Substance, Not Image: Seek individuals who have a proven track record of success. This may be in your industry or in a completely different field, as long as their principles are solid and their advice is rooted in experience.
2. Seek Those Who Challenge You: The best influencers don’t just agree with everything you say. They challenge your ideas, push you out of your comfort zone, and encourage you to think critically. Look for those who ask tough questions and force you to grow.
3. Trust Is Key: Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Don’t listen to advice from people who don’t have your best interests at heart. Trust is earned, not given lightly, and it must be built over time.
4. Focus on Quality, Not Quantity: Don’t try to surround yourself with a large group of “advisors.” Focus on a select few individuals who can offer meaningful, well-rounded perspectives.
5. Beware of Emotional Advice: There is a lot of advice out there that is based purely on emotion. If someone’s advice is rooted in fear, uncertainty, or unsubstantiated optimism, it’s best to disregard it. Look for advice that is backed by reason, data, and practical experience.
6. Don’t Be Afraid to Outgrow Influencers: As you grow, you may outgrow certain influencers. Your needs and goals will change, and so should the advice you seek. Don’t be afraid to evolve and seek new mentors who can better support your next phase of growth.

Conclusion: Trust the Few, Not the Many

In a world full of noise and distractions, the key to success lies in being intentional about who you listen to. By surrounding yourself with a small, trusted group of influential individuals—people who challenge you, teach you, and guide you—you can avoid the pitfalls of bad advice and navigate your journey more effectively.

At the end of the day, it’s not about how many people you know or how many people are in your circle of influence. It’s about the quality of the relationships you cultivate and the wisdom you choose to listen to. So, be selective. Trust the few, not the many. And always, always choose depth over breadth.

This approach will help you achieve real, lasting success—one that is built on sound advice, deep learning, and the strength of your inner circle.

John F. Hendershot is a successful entrepreneur, business strategist, and mentor with decades of experience in helping businesses grow and scale. He is a strong advocate for focusing on a small, trusted circle of influencers who can help individuals grow, both professionally and personally.