Why It's Time To Stop Being Busy

Busy is how most of us would describe ourselves. Between work, family commitments, and the rigors that exist in day-to-day life, we are short on time and it shows.

Busy is also a badge of honor. When asked by a friend or acquaintance we start nearly every response with "It's (or I've) been so busy...". It's as if our worth is directly correlated to the amount of time we don't have. The more we are strapped for time the more in esteem we hold ourselves. What an odd and bizarre metric.

It is hard to say when being busy became the lifestyle of choice but if I were to hold a guess I would say it is correlated with the introduction of the smartphone (specifically the iPhone). The smartphone brought us the ability to be connected at all times with all the world's information at our fingertips. It also brought us work email on our phone which led to constantly being connected and the feeling that we needed to always be "on."

But that's only one reason. Kids today have their whole lives scheduled. Whether it be sports, dance, music, theater, or what have you, kids have their nights and weekends full which means so do their parents.

Regardless we have embraced being busy as the go-to way to live our lives. The problem is it's bad for us.

People who self-describe as being busy tend to find themselves over-extended and eventually overwhelmed. This can lead to emotional consequences of feeling depressed or anxious. It can increase stress leading to feelings of anger, disappointment, and inadequacy. And that's just the mental part. There can be physical effects as well including fatigue, sleeplessness, and even cardiovascular problems. Never mind the challenges it poses on our relationships.

So what's the solution? How can we extricate ourselves from the Busy Train? It starts with yourself. When I perform EAP training sessions I talk about permitting yourself to set boundaries. Boundaries allow us to protect our time and put ourselves and our well-being first.

It's paramount to remember that no one will do this for you. No one will ever come to you and tell you to take more time for yourself. If you send emails on Saturday night you are telling people you are fine working on Saturday night. It's up to you to make this happen.

Once you have set boundaries it's time to explore other ways to help keep you from being overrun by being busy. This includes mindfulness exercises, taking time off, setting reasonable expectations and even connecting with a therapist. The bottom line is you get to decide what works for you.

Despite what's been written here being busy isn't always bad. It just becomes bad when it negatively affects your life. It's not a badge of honor to have every moment filled and to have little time for yourself. Life is short and we need to cherish the time we have.

As always, if you are facing a life challenge before you go to Google please contact your EAP provider. EAP can help you with everything from "help my teen is from another planet" to creating a will or finding a daycare center. Not sure who your EAP provider is? Contact your HR rep and they will help you out.

Until next time take care of yourself and always remember you matter.