Why it's time.

We all know someone that’s stayed in a relationship much longer than they should have, don't we? Perhaps you've also known someone that has talked about the fact they want to leave a job for so long, you've been tempted to leave it for them?

In both cases, your heartfelt advice probably fell somewhere between the wine glass and their glassy eyes, whilst you watched from the periphery as the inevitable played out...

They say they want to leave, they say they have to leave, they say they will leave.

But they stay. 

You watch as an unhealthily relationship with their job/boss/colleague/partner chips away at their spirit and their conviction. Often it's no one's fault, everyone's trying, but it's just not working, something just doesn't fit. But that doesn't make it any easier.

You watch and you wait and you wonder why they can’t see what you can see. 

They are brilliant. They can do it.

Then, some time later, the watching and waiting is finally over.

Perhaps you're there with them to celebrate as they share the bitter sweet story of how they ended it and how they can’t for the life of them understand why they didn’t do it sooner.

Or, perhaps it didn't end so well, and you're there to catch them when they’re pushed/dumped/discarded.

Either eventuality is good, with the bigger picture in focus - they got what they wanted. But the former is almost always better. And a LOT less painful.

So why don’t we take that leap sooner?

Why do so many wait to be pushed?

Confidence

The unknown is scary. It’s full of uncertainty. Haven't we all been there? You don't know what’s next, so, as much as you're tempted – perhaps desperate – to open the curtains and let the next act begin, your body won't let you.

Sure, your boss is doing your head in, your office is a political playground, the organisational culture is toxic, work/life is about as balanced as an elephant and a mouse on a seesaw, the next step up is your boss’s job and he’s going nowhere (and, anyway, you suspect he's poisoned his boss against you), the commute is a pain, you don’t have a desk and the IT is shit. 

But it’s not that bad. I mean, what if you leave to find you’re unemployable and you end up jobless/homeless/witless/dead? 

That would be worse.

Wouldn’t it?

Vulnerability

I’m not suggesting everyone is having a terrible time at work, by any stretch of the imagination. I know that loads of people are happy and most are fine with their jobs. (We have bigger things to worry about, for now). Some people have got the balance right. And some people may not be happy but may genuinely believe they don't have a choice.

Ok. But haven’t we all seen this pattern when someone is looking for a way out?

The only thing holding them back, is them.

From the outside, it’s easy to see that the person in question is talented, capable and bound for amazing things, but it's just not working with their current job/boss/organisation/partner. From out here it’s easy to see that the only thing holding them back a world of opportunity, is them. 

But from the inside, it’s bloody hard.

The thing is, if we’ve been telling ourselves we need to change for a while, and not changing for the same while, our confidence in our ability to change will have been knocked. And, if the situation we’re in is one that rubs up against our nerves/values/beliefs, our confidence can be knocked clean out. KO.

We're feeling vulnerable.

Not the most comfortable of starting points from which to step into the uncertain when the time comes.

So, are organisations people too?

Many organisations are currently suffering inertia. There are a multitude of behaviours they know they should quit, new approaches they say they need to adopt, and new narratives they want to build.

But they just don't seem to be able to.

So, I wonder, what if we pretended (for a minute) that organisations had feelings, vulnerabilities and fears of their own. What if we pretended organisations were people too?

Let’s call our organisation Bill.

Bill knows he needs to change because, well, since he peaked (in the late 00s) the world and everything within it has changed. But he’s stuck in a place of comfortable discomfort. He’s been feeling inadequate because he wants to play where all the Silicon Valley dudes and Tech Start Ups are playing, but he’s worried he’s not good enough. He knows that new ways of thinking could make him do new things in new exciting ways, but that’s all pretty complicated and he’d always seen himself as a straightforward, simple, kind of person.

He knows his place in the marketplace. He's got a strong brand that people recognise. He's got history. He’s surrounded by acquaintances that he’s known for years. Sure, they’d take his customers in a half a second given half the chance, but there’s still a comfort in knowing they’re there. And they're not changing that much either.

Sure, it's stressful and not as fun as it once was, the projections are increasingly uncertain, the walls are flaking, new kinds of competition are growing stronger, customers are starting to lose interest, and people don’t seem to stick around that long.

But it’s not that bad. I mean, what if he tried and he failed?

What if he ended up customerless/officeless/in-administration/dead?

That would be worse.

Would the worst case really be worse?

The thing is, whether you're a human that won’t leave an unsatisfactory relationship or a company that won’t innovate, inaction is the very likely to perpetuate your problems, not protect you from them.

Perhaps Bill Ltd won’t survive. Many companies don’t. Some shouldn’t. But what we know for sure is that the ones that don’t change definitely won’t thrive. 

This isn't just about becoming more technical (why do so many think it is?) it's about being open to change. It's about all of the things that we talk about a lot but act on far less. It's about equality, inviting disruption, it's about being driven by purpose, it's about empathy, being honest with ourselves and others, and it's about being vulnerable.

Is it time to take action?

Everyone is feeling vulnerable here in the UK at the moment. It’s what comes with uncertainly. The problem is that very few people are confident enough to speak openly and honestly about vulnerability within the walls of the social construct that we call ‘work’. 

In fact, many still see vulnerability as weakness. Which is ridiculous, given that the only people void of vulnerability are sociopaths.

As well as ridiculous, it's problematic, as no one wants to appear weak, so it makes the idea of vulnerability even scarier for everyone.

We avoid it. And we hide it.

Any kind of action that leads to uncertainty around feelings, people, pounds or performance, is risky, and is going to be hard. It is going to make us feel vulnerable.

If we only ever took action when we felt a comfortable level of vulnerability, we'd never leave until we were pushed.

So, if fear of vulnerability caused by risk is leading to inaction, then we can do two things:

1. Recognise that inaction is more likely to lead to being in a position of increased vulnerability in the long run, anyway. So inaction won't work.
2. Support one another to be open about our vulnerabilities so that it's that little bit less scary and we are more confident to step into the unknown, together.

I'll go first:

The truth is, I hate this

Posting stuff I write makes me feel vulnerable as hell. I feel it in my throat, and in my belly. I spend hours deliberating over whether to post it or not and then I’m liable to come back and delete it after a few minutes.

I can’t explain why I feel this way. I love to write, so you’d think posting would be a natural extension of that. Logically, I know that it's not a big deal at all, yet it makes me feel so exposed! What if it’s shit. What if you hate it. What if I upset someone? What if I bore everyone? What if I embarrass myself?

What if being open about vulnerability makes me sound weak?

I would feel much better NOT posting any stuff on social media, to be honest and I could just change my mind now and delete this.

I mean...

What possible harm could inaction do?