Why It's So Hard to Solve Conflict?

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Conflict, even healthy conflict, can be stressful. It can cause an adrenaline rush and make you feel angry, depressed, threatened or aggressive. You may lash out at others without meaning to, and they may lash out at you.

Conflict is the beginning of consciousness. Harding, M. E. (n.d.)

You will most likely find it difficult to get along with someone if you’re in the middle of a heated conflict. If you try to come up with a solution right away, you may end up arguing about things that are not relevant to the issue at hand.

After bringing negative emotions under control – by calming down or taking a break from the conversation – focus on getting along by communicating your needs assertively (in a positive way).

Solving Conflicts Will Make You Happy

Conflict resolution is not easy. It can be done. You need to completely understand the nature of conflict before you can resolve it. All conflicts are not resolvable, many can be resolved with the right tools and techniques.

Solving conflicts will make you happy. I want to share with you, how to solve conflicts so that you know how to control your emotions and think rationally. These skills will help you become a more patient and less temperamental person, which can be useful in your career and relationships. Here are some tips for solving your next conflict:

• Define the cause of the problem. Make sure you know what started this whole thing and who was involved so you don't end up fighting about two different things later on down the line;
• Communicate. Talk about how you feel, be honest but respectful;
• Be open-minded about possible solutions. Don't jump to conclusions about how your partner wants to solve things until he/she has had a chance to speak their piece;
• Listen actively. show that you're interested in what your partner has said by echoing back statements made during conversation such as "I hear what you're saying" or "I'm sorry, I didn't realize". This will help build trust between both parties which will make it easier for everyone involved when it comes time for negotiation time later on down the line!

Fight or Flight?

You fight for the things that are important in your life. You fight for your relationships. For your kids. For your happiness and health. For human rights, and injustice.

In most cases, flying is worst than fighting.

Conflict cannot survive without your participation. Dryer, W. (n.d.)

Here are some questions that can help you decide whether your conflict is worth the trouble:

• What do I want out of this situation? What does the other person want?
• Do I have all the information or resources I need to solve this problem or fight for what I want?
• Why am I fighting for this thing right now? Why is it important to me and/or my partner?
• What will happen if we don't address/fight for this thing right now, as opposed to later when more time has passed and maybe our emotions have calmed down a bit (maybe)?
• How much energy do we both have at the moment to devote to dealing with this issue and its consequences (if any)?

Bringing It All Together.

Conflicts are inevitable, and learning how to solve them is worth the effort. The key is learning conflict resolution strategies that work for you. Most of the time, solving conflict requires finding common ground and making compromises with others who may see things differently from us. Solving conflicts can lead us all towards healthier relationships—and who doesn’t want that?

Let me know in the comments below.

DISCLAIMER. The views and opinions expressed in this newsletter/blog are those of the author, and they are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organisation, company, individual or anyone or anything.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR. Casimiro da Silva Santos is a dad, an executive coach, business and climate change leader, and speaker. He is an international, award-winning executive with more than 20-years of management and leadership experience in the corporate world. He is a Certified Coach by InsightOut Activision Institute accredited by ICF (International Coaching Federation). He is the founder of Bring The Best, which combines coaching of individuals, executives and teams with consulting for organisational and business excellence, including turnarounds and sustainable growth.