Why it's so hard to do the right thing?
Being conscious about the "right thing" is trivial, but doing it is not. Isn't that we experience all the time? Leaving addictions aside (smoking, drinking), some really simple tasks seem so hard to execute - studying for exams, exercising regularly, eating healthy food etc. The degree of difficulty increases especially for tasks that we do not really enjoy. For example, reading a thriller is much easier compared to a textbook that we utterly dislike. This sense of dislike dilutes our "motivation levels" and even the promise of good health, good grades etc, is simply not good enough. Why?
Our "motivation levels" are driven by the "feel good factor" (gratification) that we experience from the tasks that we perform. We feel motivated to execute tasks when the resulting gratification is immediate. Delayed gratification makes the tasks much harder to accomplish. Hence, we keep postponing these tasks (with delayed gratification). The tasks that cause physical/mental pain are even more difficult to execute. That is why some find it hard to get up early in the morning, while others hate exercising, as both causes physical/mental pain instantly. Even the possibility of better health in future is not enough to motivate us, more so when there is no instant downside (significant loss) for not doing it. So, how do we motivate ourselves to execute tasks that do not result in instant gratification?
To find the answer to this question lets understand the functioning of our mind. Our mind chooses tasks depending upon its (mind's) ability to bear pain, and its willingness to relinquish the opportunity of instant gratification (pleasure). But, why would it be willing to sacrifice instant pleasure? As sometimes, the mind is convinced that not executing the task now will result in pain of a much higher magnitude compared to what it will experience while doing the task. The urgency of the task depends on how threatened we are from the impending loss (pain). For example, a procrastinating student will study hard (sacrificing all interim pleasures) in the last minute to avoid the pain emanating out of failure in exams. Hence, "fear of loss" is an important motivating factor which helps one in overcoming the pain while executing a task he dislikes. On the other hand, some students are very regular in their studies. Unlike others, they sacrifice pleasures like partying and gossiping with friends in order to find time to study. What is the factor that motivates them to do so?
Their motivation could be a result of their liking for the subject, or their ability to withstand pain compared to others. Why are some better in bearing pain than others? The answer lies in their "willpower". The folks with stronger "willpower" are able to accomplish difficult tasks than those with weaker "willpower". But, why do some have stronger "willpower" than others? It is same as asking why do some have stronger muscles than others. Just like muscles, one can strengthen his "willpower" by exercising it regularly. But, how?
Exercising mind with an intent to strengthen one's "willpower" is nothing but learning to focus it towards a specific activity for an extended period of time. This is similar to "meditation", where the mind is focused consciously towards one's breath for a reasonable period. The length of this period increases as we practice more. This is easier said than done, as the mind is very difficult to control. It gets easily digressed with thoughts that we find hard to avoid. Some of these thoughts are pleasurable and some emanate due to our concerns. Hence, one has to make conscious efforts to focus his mind to that specific activity. This requires a lot of practice and can only be learned incrementally/slowly. Therefore, the biggest challenge is to sustain one's "motivation level" during the process of strengthening one's "willpower". Most attempts fail, as the progress is slow and hardly perceptible in the shorter duration. Hence, faith can play an important role in sustaining the "motivation levels" during this process. Faith as a tool has been used successfully by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) for curing chronic alcoholism. Faith can be cultivated by reading/learning about other's success - if he can do it so can I. Also, practicing willful abstinence, like periodic fasting or sacrificing goodies, can help strengthening one's "willpower".
For the purpose of "self-improvement", sometimes we have to perform tasks that we may not like. To execute these tasks, one needs stronger "will power". To strengthen "willpower" one needs to consciously work towards improving it. Armed with stronger "willpower" we can drive our destiny rather be driven by it - making us more happy and satisfied in the process.
Data Analyst ||Business Analyst ||Educator || Director@ Funmisols Tech Academy. I help businesses achieve their goals and objectives.
2 年Thank you for this article sir. I got value
ISA and Railway RAMS consultant at Self Employed
8 年Great Topic and Excellent article. First of all Congratulation Dear Parag for picking up the subject so subtle for building 'Personality' . Majority of the people Know ;What is Right and What to be Done ; But more than anything it is Sermon or Lip Service only. 'Gain' out of any 'Action' is the Driving Force. And as you Said 'Timing of Gain' add to vow. Instant Gratification always lure to Do /Act. Thought Process is the Key to Guide our Character and ultimately Personality. Can we be Unattached ? . Can We train our Mind to just Relax ..and let some Thing to be Done ..Little by little ..Let the Habit be cultivated ...till our Mind accept. If something is Good to Do ;but our Mind do not like it ..let the Habit be made ..slowly ..slowly without too much resisting to Mind /Thoughts ...More we repulse ..more it get stronger ..So ..for Good Act ..Let Habit take the Lead.
Colonel General Staff at MINISTRY OF DEFENCE KENYA
8 年Article spot on regarding the difficulty to do the right thing(s) as opposed to wishful thinking.
IIM Calcutta Alumni, B.Tech Computer Engg. - Kolkata.
8 年Try to be positive! Try to do something....until you do something .... you won't learn to rectify problems.