Why It's Not Only OK, but also Powerful To Say "I Don't Know" At Work

Hi Friends! Welcome to another round of?"Bold, Brave, and Brilliant You"?conversation. Today, I want to share with you the power of "I Don't Know" in your communication and leadership.

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“I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.” - Mark Twain

Client Coaching Case Study

"What if they ask me a question and I don't know the answer to it. Surely, I can't just say 'I don't know!', right? I mean, how would it reflect on my credibility and reputation? That can't be good for my personal brand."

A client shared his fear with me during a coaching session. He was preparing for a high stakes pitch-presentation for a big account.

"What do you think might happen, if you replied 'I don't know.'? I asked. I wanted to steer the conversation towards a new mindset shift.

"They will judge me and not give me the account. They will think I don't know anything." He replied with an exasperated and anxious look on his face.

"Okaayyy.... let's consider this scenario. What if you were in their shoes? Someone makes a brilliant presentation for you, answers most of your questions and then for one specific question you pose, replies that he / she is not sure or don't have the correct information. They request you to give them some time for research and then revert back to you. What would you think of them?" I painted a different picture.

My client's eyes widened and said, "Well when you put it like that....I suppose, I would think they are smart, authentic and trustworthy. They have the confidence to know what they know and have the courage to accept when they don't know."

We both smiled, when he finished talking. I knew he knew now, that it was not only OK but also powerful to have the courage to say, "I don't know".

Why all leaders can benefit from the courage to accept that they don't know everything?

As humans we all experience self-judgement and fear of judgement of others. We believe we need to be perfect to come across as an able and competent leader. The truth is: we don't need to be perfect. We need to be present. We need to have the wisdom to know what we don't know and the courage to learn. That's the sign of an emotionally intelligent leader. That's the kind of communication that cuts through the barriers and forms connection with the audience.

How to Apply This At Workplaces?

• At your next presentation, if you find yourself in a situation where you don't know something, and your mind is going in a fight or flight mode, take a deep breath. It's okay and powerful to say "I don't know." Assure your audience that you will come back with answers. Invite others to share their own ideas. However, don't feel the need to explain, justify or simply fill the silence with fudgy sentences.
• If you are a leader in a meeting and you don't know something, use this as an opportunity to leave a message to junior team members through example. Invite them to share their opinion / information on the matter. With this action, you have sown the seeds of a culture of curiosity within the team members.

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As a parting word I will leave all of us with this message.

The phrase "I don't know" when communicated with confidence and authenticity, reflects humility and emotional intelligence, not insecurity or incompetence. It shows our willingness to learn and evolve. Something that we all do need to do, for as long as we live and breathe.

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Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for reading and listening to what I have to say. Now, over to you!

When and how have you used this phrase "I don't know" in your professional journey. I invite you to share memories and incidents from a time when you did or did not feel comfortable saying this out loud.

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Onwards and Upwards,

Nidhi