Why it's okay to be kaypo

Being kaypo.

This accusation is bandied about in Singapore when somebody is being nosy, asks many questions, is a busybody.

At the same time, Singaporeans are always admonished to learn more, to study harder, to excel in academic pursuits.

Ironically, these two are not just inextricably linked. To be academically gifted and to excel in your studies is actually enhanced by being kaypo. To admonish somebody for being kaypo undermines people who have a knack for learning.

To understand by being kaypo is so closely linked to academic excellence you must first understand where it comes from.

Some people have an instinctive orientation towards learning. They have a natural curiosity to acquire new knowledge, even if that knowledge is not directly relevant to their work. They just want to know, even if they never apply this knowledge. In CliftonStrengths we call this personality type Learner.

Learners distinguish themselves by being inquisitive, asking many questions, and acquiring knowledge on a whole range of topics. Depending on their other personality types, or Talent Themes, they weigh up different forms of knowledge that they've acquired. They mull over and think deeply about all the intricacies of this knowledge. Or they tell others about this knowledge. Or they take action based on this knowledge. Or they formulate new ideas and strategies based on this knowledge.

In short, Learner is the love for learning, the foundation of the acquisition of knowledge, and it is what the pursuit of academic excellence requires. Being kaypo is just another way it is expressed.

Like all personality types, Learner has not only great upside potential but also some blind spots. That's when the person with the Learner talent is unmindful about it. For example, not applying whatever they have learnt for productive means. Or asking a large number of personal questions just for the sake of knowing the answers.

This is what might be described as being kaypo. There is nothing inherently wrong with asking many questions, unless the way it lands in the world hinders productive utility.

So, if somebody asks you lots of personal questions it's not just that they are being a busybody. You are seeing their hunger for knowledge in action. You are seeing their propensity to do well in academic pursuits on display.

It might be slightly misdirected, but to admonish them not to be so nosy not only runs counter to the way they think, but it also contradicts your encouragement for them to do well in their academic pursuits.

You should definitely not discourage them from asking questions. That’s akin to discouraging them from learning, or from excelling in their academic pursuits.

Instead of admonishing them, you should encourage them to fine tune their Learner talent. Instead of admonishing them, you should encourage them to redirect it and aim it towards acquiring useful knowledge. Instead of admonishing them we should be celebrating them, and encouraging them to ask more mindful questions, to put their Learner talent to full use.

We should be reassuring them that it's okay to be kaypo.