Why It's Okay to Not Have Everything Figured Out

I was pronounced dead once. Yep, no heartbeat, no pulse — dead. It’s funny because in life, we often have moments that feel like dead ends, only to realise we were just taking an unintentional nap. And before you ask, no, I didn’t see any bright lights. But this near-death experience taught me a valuable lesson: no one has it all figured out, and that’s perfectly fine.

I’ll let you in on a secret—late bloomers exist. In fact, they’re everywhere! You know that friend who only realized they loved painting in their 40s? Or that guy who finally took up running at 50? Society often makes us think that by the time we hit 30, we should have a house, a career, and maybe even an all-consuming side hustle. The reality? More than 60% of people over 30 have no idea what they’re doing with their lives. And that’s not just me throwing out a random stat. It’s the truth.

But, why do we stress so much about “figuring it out”? We live in a world obsessed with timelines and social conditioning. Your 20s are for hustling, your 30s for “stability,” and by your 40s, you're supposed to be kicking back and posting travel pics from Bali, margarita in hand. It’s an unspoken social contract. Break the timeline, and suddenly you're the odd one out. Except—here’s the twist—it’s all made up.

Let’s take a moment to think about how many of history’s greats didn’t “bloom” until later. Stan Lee created Spider-Man when he was 39. Vera Wang didn’t start designing dresses until she was 40. Colonel Sanders founded KFC at 62! So, if you’re over 30 and feeling like you’ve missed the boat—there’s another boat, and it’s probably going somewhere cooler.

The Pressure Cooker Society

Growing up, we’re sold this idea that life is linear. School, job, family, retirement. Straight path, right? Turns out, life’s more like a maze. You hit dead ends, backtrack, and take weird detours. Sometimes, you wind up in completely unexpected places. Maybe your dream job wasn’t your dream at all. Maybe you wanted to be someone who designs amazing mobile phones but ended up in marketing (hello!). Or maybe, you’re still figuring it out. And that’s okay.

More often than not, people are navigating life the way we all navigate IKEA—wandering aimlessly, occasionally questioning their life choices, but eventually making it out alive, albeit slightly confused.

If you’re feeling lost or stuck, guess what? So is everyone else. We’re just good at pretending. Social media doesn’t help. It’s like a highlight reel of everyone’s best moments. You see someone buying a house, someone else traveling the world, and suddenly, your Wednesday night pizza binge feels tragically underwhelming. But the thing is, you don’t see the behind-the-scenes footage. You don’t see the struggles, the self-doubt, or the sheer confusion lurking just outside the frame.

A New Perspective on Progress

Progress isn’t a straight line—it’s a wiggly one. There will be setbacks. There will be false alarms. (And in my case, there will be a false death alarm.) But you will move forward. The key is realizing that moving at your own pace isn’t a failure; it’s life. So if you’re 30, 40, or even 50 and still asking, “What am I doing?” you’re not behind. You’re human.

Stop comparing. Seriously, just stop. It’s a losing game. Your journey is yours, with its own unique timeline. Just because someone else seems ahead doesn’t mean you’re behind. It just means you’re going different places, with different milestones to celebrate.

Also, embrace the idea that failure is just part of the process. You won’t always get it right. No one does. But every wrong turn teaches you something valuable—sometimes even more than success. Think of life as a movie. No one wants to watch a film where the hero gets it right every time. That’s boring. The best stories have plot twists, setbacks, and a hero who keeps pushing forward despite the odds. So, be your own hero. And don’t be afraid to rewrite the script along the way.

Your Path is Yours

Here’s the thing: You don’t have to have everything figured out. Whether you're 30 or 60, life is more about the journey than ticking boxes. Late bloomers exist, and more than 60% of us are still figuring things out, too. So, take a deep breath. Enjoy the ride. Life has a funny way of working itself out—dead ends and all.

But most importantly, do what makes you happy, not what makes other people happy, even if its telling stories under a tree.