Why I?stopped speaking publicly for 3 years.

Yesterday, was my first public interview for a while. It felt great to jump back into speaking on a topic that I am extremely passionate about and yet, it also felt very different. Thank you Faye Mayrhoo for asking and to Business for Peace Foundation for providing the platform for this conversation. But let me backtrack a little bit, for context. And explain.

For the last 3 years, I’ve intentionally taken a back seat from interviews and public speaking. And truth be told I got sidetracked. I got to talking and never stopped. I grew tired of talking and increasing frustrated by my lack of doing. I was tired of being that ‘one-black-minority-female-entrepreneur in Norway’ that was invited to show up and sit at the table. And I sat at some insanely crazy tables! Tables where you find yourself thinking: “ How am I sat in the same room as this person!!” And then realising, you were never truly given a real voice at that table. You were like that chinaware people take out for special occasion to impress during an event or dinner party. To add some colour to the event. But once over, you get put back into that cupboard away from eyesight because your contribution is not needed daily. Ironic hey?

But this is what I learned during my ‘silent retreat’ from public speaking these past couple of years. At some point, if I’m the only one showing up to represent. If I’m the only one being asked. If I’m the only one being afforded the opportunities. It stops being inspiring. It simply reinforces the stereotype that there’s only a few of us capable, smart, inspiring minority women out there, capable of dreaming big and achieving. And nothing could be further from the truth. I know and have met so many women who are far more capable, smarter, more driven than I could ever be. But they, unlike their Caucasian counterparts, are often overlooked and undervalued. They aren't given access to that room, let alone given a seat at the table. Because they simply don’t 'look' and 'fit' the part. This is called bias and yes, let it be noted, there is such a thing as diversity in gender diversity.

So for the last 3 years, every time I was asked to speak and I declined, I suggested another woman or a few women. The only exception I made to my public speaking hiatus was in 2018 when I was invited to do a talk by TEDx Bergen. My initial reaction was a gracious "No thank you". But then a few days later, I went back and said yes on one condition. That they cover the cost for my daughter to come along with me. Why? Because at that time, my 6-year-old daughter was going through a phase. She was consistently plagued by self-doubt. Mummy, do you think I could be an Olympic Gymnaste? (What can I say, we're big dreamers in this family). Do you think I could go on stage and sing just like her? And it went on and on and on. And ironically, I was lost for words.

So, when I said yes to breaking my silence in 2018 to go speak at TEDx Bergen, I did it to empower my daughter. To 'show' and teach her to not ever shy away from trying for fear of failing or being ridiculed. I wanted to show her that empowerment is synonymous with bravery and vulnerability. Because showing up, following your dreams, putting yourself out there when you cannot control the outcome, when you cannot control the critics, when you cannot control the narrative that will be told about you whether false or accurate - is far less important than writing your own narrative.

The break from speaking has been a real blessing in disguise. Those who think they know me often only see someone who can talk. Fact. You may say that I'm simply living up to my name. Babou means someone that talks a lot in Congo. So I've been told by my mother. Those who truly know me though, know that I choose to use this gift of the gab to challenge the status quo, to raise issues that often that makes us all uncomfortable and yet are needed, to use my words intentionally to uplift and inspire others in particular women to know they can. At some point, I lost sight of that. I realised, I had some growing up to do. I had some ego-checking to do. I got to check back in on my WHY. On my purpose. I got back to work. To doing.

I’m proud of the woman that showed up for this conversation with Business For Peace. This woman is far from the one who gave her first Pecha Kucha talk in front of 700 people in 2014 and then her first TEDxWomen talk in 2015 in front of an auditorium of one thousand people. That woman was driven - but na?ve. Passionate - but all over the place. Brave - but still had the arrogance of youth. I was still too worried about perfection rather than growth and self-acceptance. That woman was listening to everyone - but herself. The woman who showed up in this video, today is more grounded. More focused. More nuanced. More authentic. More imperfect. More purposeful. More empowered. Less bullshit. On mission.

So from now on when I speak. I will speak from a place of ‘I have done’ not ‘I will do.’ And doing is what I have been, in silence, behind the scenes for the last two years. I am excited to finally be able to share the fruit of those two years of hard labour in the next two weeks. I cannot wait. It feels like it’s been a long time coming. It feels scary, it feels vulnerable. It feels like I've had an extended pregnancy. An overdue baby. It feels like finally birthing my purpose.

But for now, I’d love to invite you to listen to my conversation with Business For Peace. To why empowering women economically is an issue we should all own and can all contribute to. Listen to how at The Next Billion, the company I founded 7 years ago, we're doing our part to level the playing field for women in business by using the power of visibility. How we cannot solve the issue of women's economic potential alone. We need everyone to understand that all contributions are born equal, to empower everyone to know what their currency is and know the value of that currency. Whether it is one dollar, one hour, one article, one post, one portrait when coupled with that of one hundred, one thousand, one hundred thousand, one million. That equals impact. That equates to change that we can see and therefore change we can all believe in. If what I've shared in the interview resonates with you, please share-it-forward. ????