Why Introverts Have A Love-Hate Relationship With The Limelight
Patience Ogunbona CIA IAPCM
Executive Coach/Keynote Speaker/Trainer/Facilitator. Empowering Introverted Executives to Cultivate Quiet Confidence | Building Inclusive Leadership Pipelines | Driving Positive Change | The Aligned Introvert Method ?
Did you know that many of the most influential leaders and performers in history are introverts?
Think of Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Oprah, Prince, Michael Jackson, Beyoncé, Bill Gates, Meryl Streep… the list goes on. But here’s the intriguing question: did they love the limelight?
Oprah once shared in her podcast that she’s happiest sitting quietly with her thoughts. For her recent birthday, she posted a photo of herself alone, reading messages from well-wishers. No party, no crowd just a private moment of joy.
It’s a fascinating paradox. Here’s someone who spends much of her life in the public eye, yet craves solitude. Oprah, like so many introverts, seems to have a love-hate relationship with the limelight.
The limelight defined by the Cambridge Dictionary as: receiving lots of public attention, can feel both thrilling and draining.
As a child, I longed to stand out and do remarkable things. But when the moment arrived, I often preferred the safety of a quiet corner with just my thoughts for company.
Today, as a trainer, facilitator, and public speaker, I’ve learned to embrace the limelight.
This means that I put myself out there and find ways to attract public attention or more specifically, the attention of Introverts and organisations that could benefit from strategies I developed from my lived experiences and expertise.
The bottom line is you will feel resistance to stepping out of the shadows into the limelight let's start with understanding some of the root causes of this resistance
Why You Resist The limelight
Fear of Scrutiny
You might value your privacy, and stepping into the limelight can feel like giving that up. Once you’re in a leadership role or gain recognition, people start watching your every move. It can feel like you’ve become public property, and your actions get scrutinised more. That level of attention can be uncomfortable.
Feeling Inauthentic
You’ve probably noticed how being in the public eye often requires you to curate an image. It can feel like constantly performing rather than simply being yourself. Like an actor hearing "Lights, camera, action," you may feel the pressure to switch to a version of yourself that fits expectations, which can be exhausting.
Overstimulation
When all eyes are on you, it can feel overwhelming. Whether it’s speaking at a meeting or leading a project, the energy it takes to stay visible and engaged can drain you quickly. Your introverted mind might interpret this as a threat, making you resist stepping back into the limelight.
Despite these challenges, there’s a flip side: ,So how do introverts balance this love-and-hate relationship?
How Can Introverts Learn To Love The Limelight
Curate Your Image
Sounds “icky” I know but this is what being in the limelight is all about. You don’t have to be fake to be in the limelight. Instead, think of it as building your personal brand. It is not about your personal brand being big or small. The key question is, "What do you want people to remember about you"?
Whether it’s your mission, values, or expertise, focus on showing up in a way that feels true to you. What a personal brand does is facilitate being seen heard, and acknowledged.
Communication Skills
If the idea of public speaking or being the center of attention makes you want to hide, you’re not alone. Many introverts have said to me, “When asked to stand up and speak in front of people, I sometimes want to just dig a hole and hide”.
Communication is a skill you can develop with practice. Even Oprah wasn’t born a world-class speaker, she discovered her talent early and worked hard to refine it. Start small, build confidence, and soon enough, speaking up will feel less daunting. When you keep at it, putting yourself in the limelight to grow, you get to a stage where your resistance and sensitivity decrease and you can deliver your message with finesse.
Build Your Confidence by Taking Action
Your confidence grows when you step outside your comfort zone.
You will never know what you are capable of until you try to do things you never thought you could do. But once you do those things that seemed impossible, even if you fail, what you have done is start to create new beliefs and neuropathways. That is why I use my
Motto: Impossible is an opinion, feel free to disagree and carve out your pathway to holistic success.
The Pros of Being in the Limelight
Building credibility: Sharing expertise publicly establishes introverts as thought leaders in their fields.
Opening doors: Visibility often leads to unexpected opportunities, partnerships, and career advancements.
Inspiring others: Introverts in the limelight show others that leadership and success come in many forms, breaking stereotypes about charisma and confidence.
Driving change: The limelight gives introverts a platform to champion causes they care about deeply.
A Closing Thought for You
“Stay true in the dark, and humble in the limelight.” - Harold B Lee
Remember:
The limelight isn’t reserved for the loudest or most extroverted. It’s about letting your light shine in a way that makes the world brighter. You matter. Your contributions matter. The world needs the impact only you can make.
Your Next Step
You can’t avoid the limelight if you want to make a difference, but you can embrace it on your terms. These are just a few of the tips that will help you balance your love-hate relationship with the limelight, even better you can get to work on these tips and more by signing up for my Becoming A Woman of Influence Free Masterclass and Roundtable.
This might be the last time it’s free and live, so don’t miss out on the opportunity to start your journey to holistic success.
Inspiration to Achieve
Self Reflection
Resources To Create Holistic Success
Watch The Latest Quietly Confident Introvert Podcast Episode: The Authenticity Dilemma And How To Handle It As An Introvert - HERE
Listen to Quietly Confident Introvert - HERE
Access Free Career and Business Development Resource - HERE
Where can you start to make changes? Find out HERE
About Me.
I’m an Executive, Business, and Leadership Coach, specialising in helping introverted women in leadership or entrepreneurship step into their potential, create impact, and achieve holistic success.
Through my work, I have helped many women across the globe unleash their ambitions, gain promotion, pivot to new opportunities and adventures, show up, and create presence whilst all achieving holistic success.
If you’re ready to grow your confidence and influence, I’d love to help.
I speak, train, and facilitate learning in conferences and organisations on a variety of topics related to career transitions, courageous leadership, personal development, intersectionality, team dynamics, personal effectiveness, and communication.
To enquire about my services, contact me HERE
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Guiding employees through loss with my H.E.A.L I.T. Method? | Tailored workplace well-being solutions for structured support | Author | Speaker | Relationship Consultant | Well-being Advisor
1 周Patience Ogunbona CIA IAPCM such an interesting dynamic...
From Struggle to Success: I offer Proven Lead Generation Solutions for Small Business Owners Ready to Grow | Lead Generation | Email Marketing | Paid Ads |Consultant |
1 周No I am not comfortable and will much rather remain in the background, but you laid out practical steps I can take to get more comfortable doing so
Actor | Public Speaker Coach/Trainer | Nutrition Coach I help speakers discover their unique voice and develop authentic confidence. | I also help people attain Optimum Health and Ideal Weight without dieting.
1 周Patience great topic. Because of their deep sensitivity, once they get comfortable with attention, introverts often make amazing speakers. Love seeing this personality find their voice and step into their power. Watch out world! ??
'Hiding to Shining' - Creative Imagery. Be Brave ?? Be Bold ?? Be You ???? Revitalise your brand.
1 周Fabulous read Patience Ogunbona CIA IAPCM thank you ????
Personal Branding & Headshot Photographer |Helping Business Owners & Professionals Capture Images That Grabs Attention, Tells Brand Story & Boost Sales
1 周This is a fantastic article ????. I really liked the perspective on being in the limelight—not about faking it, but about intentionally building your brand. Personally, I also enjoy my space, and I find that creating videos can be draining at times. The lighting often affects my eyes, making me extremely tired. But when I think about the long-term impact and the reason behind making these videos, I push past the discomfort. Recently, while working on a YouTube video, I noticed my voice was too soft—so much so that I wouldn’t have even watched myself! That’s when I realized that if you truly want to attract an audience, you sometimes need to raise your energy. It’s not about being fake, but about tapping into a more engaging version of yourself for that moment. Just like an actor takes on a role, we sometimes have to step outside our comfort zones to connect with people. As an introvert, I’ve learned that growth comes from taking small, intentional steps. Stepping out—even just a little—makes a difference. Beautiful article. I really enjoyed reading it—thank you so much for sharing.