Why This 'Imperfect' Clip from Shawn Mendes is Perfect

The words, “mental health issues” are thrown are thrown around in such an irresponsible way.

I’m always blown away when a news report covering a suicide or a mass shooting opens a conversation around “mental health issues” and how “something has to be done about them.”

This is an egregious generalization.

A psychopath or sociopath is a far cry from a person with chronic anxiety, depression, or addiction, and the blending those realities into one creates a stigma around “mental health issues” that keeps struggling individuals from making themselves known.

This is why Shawn Mendes’ Instagram post from January 2 nearly brought me to tears.

It is a black-and-white video, and Shawn is sitting at a keyboard, imperfectly playing and singing. He’s allowing himself to be swept away by the experience and writes this caption on Instagram:

“over the last year i spent a lot of time singing like this.. I found that in moments of extreme anxiety or fear if i sat down with my harmonium and allowed myself with full trust to sing whatever came out it would often ease the pain.. it felt so difficult at first to let myself sing without needing perfection but after a while i actually started to fall in love with the dance between the ‘right’ and the ‘wrong’ notes … i realized there were only moments of bliss and euphoria from the ‘right’ notes BECAUSE of the ‘wrong’ notes. The only reason i can sing in key is because i’ve learned to listen.

“The biggest lesson for me this year has been to accept and welcome the lows of life… not to constantly need to change or fix something in order to feel high again, because i know if i really slow down and listen when i’m low there’s always something to hear.”

This raw, real depiction of what it means to work through - not struggle with - mental health is what gives people the courage to face their own reality. Here is a superstar musician opening a window into his day-to-day life, showing what it looks like to work through a mental health low.

His words ring all too true for me.

It is that middle ground - that “dance between the ‘right’ and the ‘wrong’” as he puts it - where the magic happens. It’s the willingness to succumb to grief, anxiety, fear, and pain that teaches you. That heals you.

Addiction is what happens when we can’t bear the “wrong.” When we can’t face the “low.” That’s when substances or behaviors come into play to help us escape. It’s why the removal of an addictive substance or behavior is never enough. We have to get to the root of the discomfort that pushes us to the substance or behavior in the first place.

We have to grow enough and feel safe enough to sing imperfectly the way Shawn is. We have to let ourselves be sad. Let ourselves grieve. Let ourselves learn.

The stigma surrounding “mental health issues” keeps real people with real struggles from healing. It prompts the ego to step in and say, “I don’t have that problem. I have it all together.”

How many people do you know like that?

What if you allowed yourself to sit down and sing and not worry about how you sounded? What if you stopped trying to have it all together? Could you find healing and peace in your imperfection?

I think it’s worth a try.

About First and Sober

First and Sober is about living life with presence. For some, that means first getting free from the hold alcohol has on their lives. For all, it means getting real about living each day wide awake and on purpose. If you believe you have a problem with alcohol you can't overcome on your own, please reach out for help.