Why I'm talking about death

I’d been walking through the fields with Michael for about an hour and a half now. We couldn’t be far from the river, maybe we were heading in the wrong direction. Michael was a kind patient?German man in his late sixties, the kind you’d trust your children with if you went on a long holiday.?

We had a few options, keep going and hope that we were incredibly close or turn back before it got too dark and miss out on this beautiful river everyone had been banging on about. I’ve never been one to give up too soon, so we kept on going.?

Michael was getting out of breath, I think this was due to the pace I was walking, I’ve always been told I have incredible calves and walk at an above-average speed. I remember the others talking about turning right at the path near the old farmhouse, we hadn’t seen a farmhouse and there’d been no path for about thirty minutes. Where the bloody hell were we?

We were quite lucky to be in nature, no phones, no kids inhaling those balloons that made them giddy and full of smiles, just me, Michael our sweet conversation and his bleeding finger. (He’d cut it on some barbed wire way back when we started but he wasn’t the complaining type.)?

As with many of my conversations, we’d got on to the subject of death. Michael was a Buddhist and believed in Nirvana or as Michael taught me “Blowing out”

I tried to stifle a laugh.

Nirvana (Nibbana) literally means "blowing out" or "quenching". It is the most used as well as the earliest term to describe the soteriological goal in Buddhism: release from the cycle of rebirth (sa?sāra). Nirvana is part of the Third Truth on "cessation of dukkha" in the Four Noble Truths doctrine of Buddhism.

Similar to heaven or reincarnation.?

Michael spoke about how he’d dedicated his life to Buddhism when he was in his late 20s. A man with a wife and young family decided to dedicate his life to Buddhism travelling around the world to find peace within himself and hopefully achieve the ultimate win.

“Do you think we’re close?”

“Well Jack, let me put it this way, I’ve been on a journey for over 30 years. I’ve meditated for 10 days straight at a time, dedicated my whole life towards Buddhism and I still don’t feel any closer”

“I meant the river, Michael”?

There was an awkward silence between the two of us.?

I hate silence, as peaceful as it is, my overactive brain likes to fill the gaps and sometimes in the most peaceful of moments, I open my wide cockney mouth.

“It’s probably a little bit similar to the river isn’t it Michael, death? You walk and walk and walk always in search of the outcome but really, it should be the journey we’re enjoying.”

There was another silence. Michael didn’t seem amused.

“You know it’s not a river, it’s a man-made lake.” he responded

All my excitement and expectations had disappeared.?

Death is equivalent to a pond some bloke made many years ago.

To put the story in context I’d decided to spend three nights in a Buddhist monastery. I’ve always been a big believer in pushing myself to the limits. I thought three nights away from the hustle and bustle of life with no technology and a few meditations would push me and help me understand this crazy thing called life.

It was a couple of weeks after I handed in my notice to start working with Zac at We Have A Meeting. Nobody knew the rollercoaster journey we were about to ensue and it gave me a lot of time to think and plan the next steps.?

15 minutes later and a few more probing questions about death and we made it. We were at the man-made lake. It was beautiful. I kept talking about the rock formation and Michael asked me to be quiet whilst he enjoyed the view and drank his honey tea.?

During my time at the monastery I spent a lot of time reading. It was either sitting with your own thoughts or making use of the countless books the library had. Turns out I’m not good with my own thoughts at times so I turned to the books….

?They were all split into different sections.

• The History of Buddhism (Who wants to live in the past?)
• Religious beliefs
• Meditation (Ummmm)
• Death

I’m not sure what it is about death that stood out to me but I became slightly obsessed with the subject. I managed to polish off 3 books in the space of 9 hours (they were only little ones, turns out there’s not that much you can write about death.)

Everyone has their own opinions on death. I’m a big lover of “Memento Mori” a phrase penned by the Stoics.?

Whether you work in sales or don’t. Remembering that one day you will die, it gives you an incredible superpower every day. The fact that you get to live.

The Buddhists teach you to imagine a little bird on your shoulder every morning whispering that you might die. To make it less eerie, you can imagine it’s big bird or another TV personality bird. (Other birds are available)

So where does death come into the world of sales I hear you cry.

Imagine you’re on your deathbed. Surrounded by the ones you love and some little nurse waddles in with a bucket of grapes to soothe your dying head.

You’ll probably be faced with regrets.

Did I spend enough time with my family?

Did I follow my dreams??

Did I truly live a good life?

Nobody is sat on their death bed thinking….

?God, I can’t believe I missed target in Q3.?

Using this as your power is the key.

Before you make a cold call, before you sit in an important meeting, before you have that awkward conversation with your boss about unrealistic KPIS.

Think to yourself.?

One day I’m going to die and none of this will matter.