Why I’m not sad at my father’s death?

On last 12th August, 2022, I lost my dad in front of my eyes. I was accompanying him during last half an hour of his journey. In fact, I witnessed his last breath from a kissing distance. I know, I lost the biggest umbrella, the banyan tree of my life. Still I’m not sad, rather I’m satisfied of his healthy passing.

Question is why I’m not sad at the greatest loss of life! Don’t I love my dad? Am I emotionless?

Simple answer is “NO”. I love my dad like anything. I’ve all such emotions & that too active emotions which a sensible person possesses.

But I’m not sad. Because it’s not a loss for me. I lost his anatomical presence. Not his existence in my thought process. He’s very much alive within me. I can feel his vibrations with every breath. Because whatever I’m today, it’s because of my parents. They brought me on this beautiful earth, raised me with all facilities they could afford to the best of their capacity. They made me very much compatible to stand on my own feet in this tough world. Moreover they showed me how to live a life with full grace, with whatever I’ve. That’s the secret of my mindset.

Well, it has different components.

1)??Emotional.

2)??Psychological.

Emotional :-?Our thoughts are slave of our emotions. We are slave of our thoughts. We think as how we feel. We behave as how we think. There is a chain of connections among all these factors. The most challenging part of our emotion is EXPECTATION & ACCEPTANCE. We all have a list of expectations from life, from friends, colleagues, relatives, partner, family members & society. But, have we ever thought, how far we deserve to expect? I believe the answer is NO for most of us. Because we believe that expectation is directly related to growth. The why we all can’t grow? Here comes the twist. We don’t concentrate on own limitations. We always try to show what we can do, but do we pay regular attention to those what we can’t? Reason may be confidence, sometimes over confidence, or the desire to portray ourselves as a best fit in every situation. This sort of masking of prevarication with make believe image can backfire most of the time. Actually we get trapped in desires of hero worship. We feel ashamed to express our inabilities. Because we don’t ace[t limitations.?We don’t use acceptance as the strongest tool to build our character. The first thing we all have to accept that we can’t control things like death. Life is so unpredictable that you can’t guarantee whether you’ll be able to see tomorrow’s morning or not. When a baby takes birth, it’s hard to predict its future. But the only accurate prediction anyone can make is that it’ll die one day. That’s the raw reality & we must accept death as the most normal happening of life. Once we start accepting this sportingly, our emotional resistance will start to come down, so as all discomforts about thoughts related to death.

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Psycho – logical :- There must be some scientific logic behind biological living. How much healthy your life will depend on various factors like lifestyle, discipline, food habit, genetic issues, co morbidity issues, regular clinical supervision, mental health, age etc. For dad, the most important factor was age. He was 88, with apparently healthy thought process & fitness to that level that he used to practice yoga till 9th August. He was very punctual in daily life. He was very fond of reading news papers & magazines on regular basis. His best practice was to solve crosswords till 10th August morning. It shows how fit he was so far as his mental health is concerned. But our body is like a machine. It starts deteriorating as it grows old. After 10th afternoon when he fell down on floor and lost left hip joint, he got completely bed ridden like a disable person. From that time he constantly tried to make us understand that he doesn’t want to live such a parasitic life where he needs a helper to turn left or right. Practically speaking, if he would survive more likewise, he would experience a lot of pathetic phases like bed-sore, irritation, anger issues, cognitive distortion, frustration and many more. Slowly his digestive system would face severe upset. Gradually but certainly he would get a very painful death. At his age, it was very risky to drag him under anesthesia for performing any surgical activity. A man of 88 years of age with almost conscious thoughts and physical disability is enough to create madness into his thought process. From this perspective, it’s a sigh of relief for me that he didn’t have to suffer from such agony.

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Conclusion :-?Apart from all these logic, I must admit that I had lost dad. I’ll never get any reply from him. I’ll never be able to hug him. But, all these issues will occur in physical world. In spiritual world, when I’ll dive deep into my existence, I’ll always have him at the starting point. When I’ll perform meditation, he’ll be there to accompany me. Because he is very much alive & active in my existence, with all lessons, with all feelings, with all perceptions.

Love you dad, unconditionally.?