Why I'm a proud failure - My tips for Embracing failure

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I am a proud failure!?

I say this because I don’t actively seek to fail, quite the contrary, I’m driven and play to win at all things I do, but I know failure is part of the process. Every accomplishment I have achieved has been a result of many, many failures. It’s the way I’ve treated these failures that have helped me grow and improve. The difference is embracing failure as opposed to fearing and (or) accepting?failure.?

• Embracing failure :Knowing failure is part of the process and key to learn grow and develop
• Fearing failure: Hesitating to try new things and step outside the comfort zone because of the risk of failing
• Accepting failure: stopping at any hurdle or setback in life and dwelling on it.

Fearing failure is a big reason why its hard to follow through with a life-changing idea, not stepping outside our comfort zones and reaching our full potential…..How??

It can lead to avoidance: The fear of failure leads to pro-longing or not trying new things

It can lead to self-doubt: The "What-if's" around our head telling us we are not capable of a task.

It can lead to perfectionism: setting expectations that the outcome has to be perfect, therefore making the end-goal unrealistic and pointless to try.

Other people's opinions: Not trying new things because of the fear of being perceived as a failure.

Here’s a little story on how I learned to embrace failure:?

As a child, I was shy and hesitant. I never put my hand to anything new as I feared the embarrassment and shame of failing at something more than wanting to try new things. I never tried to change a bike tire as the self doubt was too overwhelming. I never wanted to read in school as I was nervous of what people thought and stopped doing any task when it got too hard.?

That all changed one day… When I was about 14 I was going through a phase of listening to classic and heavy rock music. I listened to Guns and Roses daily, idolized Slash, and got an urge to start playing Guitar. It wasn’t a “cool” thing to do as a teenager at the time as people who played guitars were called “hippie”, “rockers” and other things a lot worse…

This was?the moment I stepped outside my comfort zone and tried a new skill I’ve never done before, and at the start I hated it. The chords were so hard to do, the tips of my fingers gushed and the taunts of peers cut through like a knife. But I stuck at it. Eventually learning chords, songs and the solo riff in Stairway to heaven.?

As you can probably tell my guitarist career didn’t exactly take off but it was probably one of the greatest failures/achievements of my life. But I did take what I learned here in a lot of my accomplishments to date.? This experience taught me that to do something worthwhile,failure needs to be embraced. This is essential to grow and evolve.

?Since then I’ve failed at?

• Being a rapper (don’t ask)?
• Setting up a shop?
• Running a digital marketing business?
• Running an ecommerce business?
• Learning to swim?
• The list goes on….?

But also achieved many great things as a direct result of embracing these failures, learning from them and adapting.?

My tips for embracing failure?

Don’t be afraid to try something new:

If you’re really keen to try something new, and it doesn’t put your health, finances or family at serious risk, then try it. The biggest setbacks at the start are going to be self-limiting beliefs. Until you try something new, these beliefs will be fictional “what if’s”.

When I started to write blogs in linkedin loads of “what If’s” floated around my head “what if people think this or that”, what if I can’t think of anything to write” blah blah blah, now I love it and it's completely different to the way I thought it would be. There have been failures, and there will be more but it's all part of the process.?

Start small:

When taking on a new skill or hobby, etc., don’t dive right in, take small steps to get started. This makes the task less overwhelming and gives time for learning and adaptation. When I started my vlog, I had no idea what I was doing (still don’t) but once I did the first video I learned so much about video editing, storyboarding, audio etc. Knowing this gives me a line of sight of what I need to do to improve.?

Respect the opportunity:

This is one of our core values at work and my favorite one. We all have great opportunities to try something new, grow and develop and to step outside of our comfort zone. It may be a new project at work, a new hobby or learning a new skill. Take the opportunity and give it everything you can to make it work. I think this is the difference between accepting failure and embracing failure. Failure will always be part of the process but it's us who decides if it derails the process or helps us grow and develop.?

Create an environment where it is okay to fail:

This can be broken down into two elements. Creating a scenario where there is little or no risk in failing and the other creating a culture where failure is embraced.?

Creating a scenario where there is little or no risk in failing: this is creating an experimental environment where failing doesn’t lead to a massive F*** up. A great example of this is when companies set up innovation hubs where they dedicate budget and resources to a team and sandbox environments to try new things and fail with little risk.?

Creating a culture where failure is embraced: This is creating a psychologically safe environment where failure is not punished. It’s a blameless culture where failure is a fault of the process and not the individual. As a father, aside from ensuring my child is happy and healthy this is my biggest priority as a parent. When Maisie tries something whether it be washing the dishes, riding a bike with no stabilizers or doing her dance competitions. I will never ever give out to her for making a mistake. I would much rather try something and fail over not trying at all.?

Enter with an open mind and to learn:

Failure brings the best lessons. Mike Tyson once said “everyone has a plan until they are punched in the teeth”. You can do all the planning in the world but there will always be unknowns. When you act and make the mistakes you learn the most. The key here is to enter these situations with an open mind and willingness to learn and improve.

?There will be situations where you naturally learn, and others when you should seek feedback or a different perspective to see how you can improve. Be obsessive with learning and seeking feedback.?

Enjoy the process:

Trying new things, failing and growing from the experience is a frustrating process but also fun. The key here is to treat it like a process and not to be too hard on yourself for failing. It’s a liberating feeling going into something new, not caring what people think, not worrying about failing and going with the flow of learning in the process.?

Adopting a mindset of embracing failure allows us to try new things, learn and adapt. It plays a massive part in building resilience as we don’t get knocked down at every little setback but rather take it as an opportunity to learn and get better. Below is my process for failing.