Why I’m Never Running a Marathon (and Why That Makes Me Successful)

“Running gives me SUCH an endorphin hit! You should try it!”

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I heard this argument last week for the gazillionth time. “Running is free/cheap.” “It doesn’t require giant equipment or a gym membership.” “It can be done easily from anywhere.” “It makes you feel great.”

In my early 20s, I tried it. My bendy, weak ankles hated it. My asthma simply refused. I felt like a lazy wimp, and I kept trying over and over again through the years to make it work. But it never did.

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It’s taken me until my 40s to truly own it and not feel that twang of guilt when I say “no. I would only run if I were being chased by a hungry tiger.” Because what I’ve learned now is that? giving up on goals that don’t make sense for you is the only way to commit to the goals that DO make sense for you!

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Your Goal Wasn’t Your Goal

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Instead of feeling guilty about a goal that you let fall by the wayside, giving up allows you to take a deeper look at WHY you were glorifying that goal in the first place. I asked some of my marathon-running friends why they wanted to run a marathon. “To be able to say I did it,” was a common response. But why does THAT matter? I persisted. That’s when I started to get interesting answers:

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“To do something no one else I know has done”

“To set a hard accomplishment and complete it”

“To push myself past what I thought I could do”

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Aha! You don’t have to run a marathon to do something no one else you know has done. You don’t have to run a marathon to set a hard accomplishment and complete it. Running a marathon isn’t the goal. Running a marathon is just the vehicle to achieve a LARGER goal.

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Supersize Your Goals

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If you step back and look more broadly at what you’ve been calling your goals, you might realize that there’s an even deeper goal – a true goal – underpinning those desires. THAT larger, supersized goal is your real goal! When we supersize our goals, we give ourselves the opportunity to let go of strategies that aren’t working out for us, giving us space to find good strategies that WILL get us to our supersized goals.

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For me, admitting I’m never going to run a marathon doesn’t make me feel like a failure. Because I realized that my supersized goal is to be a healthy, active person. So I found other, much more suitable ways to achieve that goal, and they’re working much better for me.

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I’m never going to be a marathon runner, and that’s okay. Maybe you aren’t, either. Or maybe there’s some other “should” in your life that’s got you feeling guilty. Let it go, figure out the supersized goal behind the desire, and spend your time on THAT. That’s how the successful people do it.

Courtney Clark is a four-time World Trade Center-related cancer survivor and a brain aneurysm survivor. As researcher and speaker on adaptability and resilience, she provides content-based motivation that helps individuals adapt faster, achieve more, and develop ReVisionary Thinking?. She is the author of three books and founder of a nonprofit. www.CourtneyClark.com.