Why I’m a Male Feminist (Career Coach)

What Are Feminists, Anyway?

Growing up as a male, blond, blue(ish)-eyed Polish immigrant in Brooklyn in the 90’s, I used to think that feminists were militant women who hated men. I certainly loved the women in my own life—my mother, my sister, my female friends—but I wasn’t too sure about those “feminists.” Were they the women who refused to shave their armpits? Maybe they banned their own daughters from playing with dolls or talking to boys like me? I had no idea because, back then, I didn’t know any feminists -- or so I thought.

On Realizing I Was a Feminist

Fast forward a few years: I attended an ultra-liberal New England college (go Wes!), learned a thing or two about [the theory of] sexism, read a few books on feminism, and one day it just dawned on me: I’m a feminist!

Feminism Is About Us All

Let’s get real here: feminism isn’t anything radical (here in the US). It’s just a simple notion that all people should be treated fairly, irrespective of their gender. Of course, every person you ask will have a slightly different definition of feminism, but that’s to be expected—celebrated even.

Moving forward another decade to my 30’s, and here I am, a career coach who has supported countless women on their professional journeys. I didn’t “save” any of these women, but based on their feedback I did empower their path toward a more fulfilling, better-paying career. Just as I’ve done with my male clients, but with a critical difference, which I’ll get to in a moment.

Where Have All the Feminists Gone?

One thing that has often struck me is how few of my female friends and clients describe themselves as feminists. Even today, “feminist” is a word that is rarely thrown around in my circle of intelligent, progressive friends. Maybe some of these women just don’t want to deal with the social stigma or eye-rolls people give when they encounter a bona fide feminist. Or perhaps my gal pals don’t think they’ve done anything great on behalf of womenfolk to deserve the honor of being called a feminist. I don’t really know, so I won’t speak for those women. But I will speak about the many women I’ve supported over the years, whether as a friend or a career coach—and sometimes as both.

Stand Up For Yourself If No One Else Will

I have a near-even gender split between male and female clients. Unremarkable, except for the fact that even in 2016, women are still under-selling themselves in the job marketplace, much to their professional detriment. A high percentage of my female clients don’t fully own their otherwise impressive list of accomplishments. They’re less likely to toot their own horn both to their current boss and to prospective employers. This is visible not just on their resumes and LinkedIn profiles—it’s also apparent in the almost demure way some of them talk about their experience. My job is to help them break this detrimental habit.

The full Huffington Post article continues here...