Why I'm Grateful for Allies

By Chester Elton

When we were interviewing people for our new book Anxiety at Work, it became clear when you look at history; there has been a pattern of anxiety in certain groups in the workplace—those who feel like they're outside. Groups that are the most vulnerable are women, people of color, LGBTQ+, religious minorities, and people with disabilities, to name a few.

Leaders should be an ally to groups who feel an abundance of stress and support a diverse and inclusive culture to see positive change.

Many people who feel like outsiders at work may think of themselves as flawed, unlovable, and even unworthy. Minority stress is additional stress due to prejudice that heaps on top of the stress caused by normal things. It happens every day, and studies show it has powerful, lasting impacts on mental health and well-being—and intensifies for people who struggle with anxiety. When people can't talk about who they are at the core, they are more likely to feel more stress and anxiety every day.

Branding author and our dear friend Dorie Clark explained, "The stress around hiding can become extraordinarily distracting, leaving people less energy for their work. Anybody who's ever been in junior high knows when you always focus on what people are thinking about you, it's a surefire recipe for anxiety."

Dorie also shared that leaders can help lower worries for people who feel like they're on the outside. Team leaders can speak up for marginalized groups, encourage inclusiveness in their teams, and treat complaints seriously by looking into them immediately. We've found that when managers create cultures where people feel comfortable being themselves, performance goes up because people can focus on doing their best work.

In our interviews for Anxiety at Work, we found out a few things marginalized people would like their peers and managers to know:

1. It's not a competition. Don't try to relate by sharing all the things that have gone wrong in your life.
2. Don't compare by saying that your daughter is gay or that you have lots of black friends. Focus on them rather than assuming all people who share something in common are all the same. 
3. Be compassionate, and don't be shocked when you hear bias. 
4. Don't virtue signal; instead, show compassion by listening.

It takes guts to speak up against unfairness when others stay quiet, but that's what being a great leader is. The sad truth is we expect underrepresented people to speak up for themselves, and too often, peers and managers don't believe them. The worst way to address an issue is to be argumentative or dismissive. Great leaders address the little wounds and slight exclusions that happen every day and profoundly affect people who feel insignificant.

People who face this death-by-a-thousand-cuts are often labeled overly sensitive. Research shows that the little jabs can take a real psychological toll on people's mental health and lead to anger, depression, and lower productivity. We found one university study uncovered evidence that subtle discrimination leads to depression, trauma, and even thoughts of suicide.

The goal for leaders is to support and promote everyone on the team and be an ally for those who feel like they are other. Good allies don't hide in the shadows. They show up and support through their actions. Stepping up once isn't enough. Allyship is a journey, not a one-time destination.

I challenge you to consider a few things you can do to be a strong ally to marginalized employees on your team or in the organization.

Drop a line to let me know, and you know I will be rooting for you.

Go to work, and good luck!

With gratitude,

If you are looking for a safe place to talk about anxiety at work and mental health, please join us at We Thrive Together This is a free community that Adrian and I have started to help people who suffer from anxiety themselves or are managing people who are feeling anxious, burnout, and stress. We share ideas and show up for each other, and everyone is welcome.

I am excited to invite you to check out the latest episode of "Anxiety at Work" podcast. I always say you can't be in a state of anxiety and gratitude at the same time! Each week, my coauthor and dear friend, Adrian Gostick and I talk to some of the world’s leading authorities on mental health and explore the causes of workplace stress and anxiety, along with practices that are proven to reduce tension and cultivate calm.

In this week's episode, we talked to Chris Schembra, Author of "Gratitude and Pasta, Forbes’ #2 book to create Human Connection | USA Today’s “Gratitude Guru” | Founding Member Rolling Stone Culture Council.

The Gratitude Journal is your place to find tools to create an all-in culture, at work and at home.  #grateful for the release of our new book “Anxiety at Work” by HarperCollins Publishers. My coauthor Adrian Gostick and I are passionate about helping remove the stigma surrounding this mental health issue at work. Together with Anthony Gostick we lay out 8 strategies to build resilience, handle uncertainty and get stuff done! I am #grateful for all of you who gave us the gift of your time to get the word out! #thankyou!! What are you grateful for today?

Chester Elton has spent two decades helping clients engage their employees to execute on strategy, vision, and values. His work is supported by research with more than 1 million working adults, revealing the proven secrets behind high-performance cultures and teams. He and his coauthor, Adrian Gostick are the founders of The Culture Works, a global coaching, speaking, and training company.

Leading with Gratitude, is available wherever you like to get your books. Visit Leading with Gratitude Book for free resources including videos, podcast episodes, and more, to build a culture of gratitude.