Why I'm fine to find my Flex...

So lockdown 3.0 came as little or no surprise when announced after the Christmas break. I fully support the need for it to happen but, it still never quite prepares you for the prospect of schools closing once more and your brain going into overdrive, wondering, "how am I going to do this?"…

Now don't get me wrong, my son is five, so in terms of "home-schooling," I thought how hard it could be? Lockdown one and two he was in preschool; it was warm outside, so we had countless BBQs at lunchtime, he played in the garden while I worked, and we'd finish the days with long hazy walks – I took it as a time in my life that I would never get back with him. My wife and I both work full time. We would split our days, taking two hours here and there, tag-teaming on the stairs as we switched roles and got our heads out of work and into Kinetic Sand, Dinosaurs, and Superheroes. 

Lockdown 3.0 felt very different right from the get-go. Work is busier than ever, and both my wife and I have exciting projects we want to focus on. Our son finished school on the 18th of December, receiving the message to self-isolate soon after, followed shortly by a tier four announcement, then full national lockdown. He hasn't seen another child for weeks and, try as we might, we can't replicate how five-year-old boys play (as he is quick to remind us). 

The home-schooling felt novel to us, our son's school has been excellent. He has a live lesson daily, weekly wellbeing sessions, and story time—all on top of the work he gets sent. I can sound out phonics with the best of them, although I don't mind admitting I did have to Google "Wow words," and our son is horrified at my attempt at cursive writing?!

Home-schooling, for me, isn't the issue. My issue is that our son is five and, with no siblings, craves our attention all of the time - even when I whip out the virtual babysitter (yeah, I don't mind admitting the TV or iPad make an appearance). He is desperate to show you what's on the screen or ask questions like "why is that Cat wearing a bikini?" The fact that said cat is talking and sailing a boat seems to have passed him by…

By the end of the first week, we felt more than just a little broken. All the pressure on me to not crack is my own pressure, not pressure from my Director or my employer (both of which I would add have been more than supportive). 

By my own admission, I am a control freak, a perfectionist, and hugely self-conscious. I was asking myself, "Why can't I multi-task?" The more I searched for techniques, the more studies I came across on the subject. True multi-tasking—doing more than one task simultaneously—is a myth. People who think they can split their attention between multiple tasks at once aren't actually getting more done. They're doing less, getting more stressed out, and performing worse than those who single-task.

It was around this point that my MD had put up his weekly Vlog. Towards the end of the video, he referenced something called Flexi Furlough. 

The flexible furlough scheme in the video enables employees to apply for Furlough for 50% of their contracted hours, and the government will top up the balance to 90%. I felt my shoulders drop instantly - this, for me, was the ideal solution. 

But, asking to take time away from work isn't something that I'm wholly comfortable with - how would I be perceived? Would it seem like I didn't have enough to do? The reality was that my Director, my HRD, and my team were hugely supportive and understood that I would have struggled to make that decision, but that also it was the right thing to do. Having the opportunity to be furloughed flexibly enables me to be at my best for both the things I love - my family and my work.  

The plan is to flex for four weeks, giving us time to get a routine together. We can settle our son into the reality of being apart from his friends/family/school and going back into my full-time role, having scaled back and recovered – ready to be back to myself once again.

Don't be forced into thinking you can do it all. The reality is that you can't, at least not well, and more importantly, you don't have to. Flexi Furlough might not be the right option for you, and it certainly won't be the only option to aid support.  

I wouldn't say I feel lucky to work for Reed or with the people within the organisation. I do however fully appreciate the candid openness and support that is available to me. I have a supportive employer with resources to aid mental health, wellbeing, and a desire to work with their employees. In 2021, this should be a given from all employers. 

Talk to your employer and seek support through webinars, friends, colleagues, or wherever you feel comfortable. You don't have to choose between being a parent or having a career – ever!

Oh, and we still do the long walks – but they are much wetter, colder, and muddier - just the way he likes them.