Why I'm Adding Sexual Harassment to My Emotional Intelligence Workshops

What a great opportunity it was to virtually meet with fellow professionals to discuss the sexual harassment issues facing our business communities and more specifically our HR community.

If you'd like to listen, view or read (transcript) the replay, you can go here: click here

It was so full of insights, I will be writing a post with all takeaways, but for now, I wanted to take one as it relates to a topic I will be delivering this week and also related to recent news.

I am informing my clients this week that going forward, I will be adding a segment on sexual harassment to my Emotional Intelligence workshops. I believe in looking at this issue holistically and it really needs to be seen and introduced in this context.

As I was thinking through the connections, here is what I considered the "continuum" (my mind-map with a few misspellings). Continuum is a word my colleague Suzi Benoit references when assessing the seriousness of an incident. This continuum displays a potential starting point of where harassment or inappropriate behavior could begin or be perceived...and this is the critical point...

Some interactions are obvious and some are not...and (this is the super important part because of our shifting social consciousness) some interactions that were not called out or even considered acceptable, no longer are -- to one person, the other or both.

So how does this relate to emotional intelligence? The 4 key overriding elements of emotional intelligence are:

1. I'm aware of my feelings/emotions.
2. I am able to self-regulate (that is exercise self-control, self-manage, manage impulses).
3. I am aware of the emotions/feelings of others.
4. I am able and willing to respond appropriately.

(By the way, as an HR professional or manager, these 4 elements is what you want to look for if an incident should occur. Many in these positions are very naive about human behavior and therefore don't address an incident at the onset before a pattern is established.)

The key piece then, which may not be addressed in traditional sexual harassment training, is => appropriately handling 2 different perceptions of an event, even when it comes to something as simple as a compliment, which might be perceived as harmless to one and a "come-on" to another.

It's at this point, that the issue is really about working through perception and intent, which is what we discuss in the EQ workshop. In the early part of the continuum, there is a lot of gray in terms of what each person is comfortable with or sees as inappropriate or not. And, a personal standard should not be judged or discounted....this is the essence of emotional intelligence in this context.

Note: I bet there will be generational and cultural differences in this part of the continuum as well. That's why each company must establish their own standards and or an accessible, comfortable way of addressing any concern.

In the news today, a well-known actor, Aziz Ansari, accused of sexual harassment, addressed comments made after a date. This is a excellent example - read the article. Even though from her point of view, it appears he didn't take seriously her responses to his advances, I'm hoping, due to our enhanced social consciousness, from this point forward he will and from his comments it seems so.

I'm thinking going forward women will be more assertive, speak boundaries clearer and men will take seriously those expressions and respond quicker. This reflects emotional intelligence on all sides.

Here's the good news, our social dialogue around this issue could hopefully help us all grow in our emotional intelligence.

And the bottom line? ... all of our discussions are about becoming better human beings that allow us to have better interactions with others, that is seeing, reading and responding appropriately - the only difference here is the context could be sexual.

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If you need to assess how your company is dealing with these current issues, one thing we've learned, online webinar compliance training is not enough. We've formed a dream team of advisors to help you successfully navigate what your company needs to move towards an harassment-free workplace while fortifying your company culture. Contact us for a discussion. Em: [email protected] Ph: 888.388.0565

If you haven't yet accessed the information regarding our informational webcast Sexual Harassment - It's Time for Action| A Candid Discussion with HR Professionals -- you'll find it helpful - click here | follow our continuing discussion on Twitter with this hashtag #HRShrealtalk @joanncorley