Why I Won’t Buy Products from Companies with HR Departments: A Rant in Defense of Common Sense
Let me start by saying this: If your company has an HR department, consider me a ghost in your customer database. Why? Because I am not paying for your overpriced products to cover the inflated salaries of a bunch of HR specialists who add zero value to anyone’s life—except maybe their own. Think about it: Every HR department is just a money pit of inefficiency, confusion, and bad decisions wrapped up in a bunch of policies nobody asked for.
HR specialists? Worthless. Yes, I said it. Their job is a glorified form of babysitting, but worse, because at least babysitters can handle tantrums. HR’s entire purpose seems to revolve around creating problems where none exist. Real talent doesn’t come from HR; it comes from people who know their stuff. Talent attracts talent. You know who should be hiring? The actual managers who understand what the job takes and who can spot the right fit the second someone walks through the door.
HR’s Real Skill? Mastering the Art of Radio Silence
Ever applied for a job and got ghosted by HR? Of course, you have. HR is like that one friend who says they'll call you back but never does. Important company news? Not a peep. Did someone get promoted? Fired? Did the company merge with a pizza joint? HR keeps their lips sealed like they’re guarding state secrets. It's like they’re practicing for the next Cold War, except the only enemy is common sense.
Recognition? Good Luck with That
Saved the company from bankruptcy? Streamlined a process that saved millions? Don’t expect a pat on the back. HR will give you a half-hearted "thanks" as they congratulate themselves for arranging the annual office pizza party. Even then, they’ll probably mess up the order and forget the gluten-free option.
Feedback? Might as Well Ask a Brick Wall
You thought HR was going to give you feedback on that internal job you applied for? Nope. HR's feedback process is like shouting into the void. You’ll get more life out of a dead cactus than you will trying to get constructive criticism from them. You applied internally? Cool. They'll let you know in 6-8 months when someone less qualified gets the job.
Administrative Nightmares—Where Typo = Chaos
Oh, you need to change your bank details? Brace yourself. One typo and your paycheck will vanish into the Bermuda Triangle. HR will probably respond with something like, "Oops, sorry, you'll get paid next month. Maybe." It’s as if they hired toddlers to handle critical tasks, except toddlers would probably have more attention to detail.
Support? Only If “Policy” Counts as Support
Ever needed HR’s advice? Well, don’t bother. They’ll just quote you some policy nobody's ever heard of and pat themselves on the back for “solving” your problem. It’s like they’re allergic to being helpful. Got a real issue? Good luck navigating the labyrinth of HR policies that seem specifically designed to avoid giving you the help you need.
Lack of Training: The HR Irony
Here’s the kicker—some HR pros don’t even know how to hire. They can’t write a decent job description, don’t know what makes a good candidate, and stumble through interviews like they’re solving a Rubik’s Cube blindfolded. The irony? They’re the ones telling you who’s qualified for your team. It’s like asking someone who’s never cooked to judge the next Top Chef.
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Talent Doesn’t Need HR—It Needs Instinct
Here’s a crazy idea: Let the people who actually know what they’re doing handle recruitment. Hiring managers? Yeah, they should be the ones in charge of identifying talent, because talent recognizes talent. You think HR knows how to spot a rising star? Please. They’re too busy perfecting their favorite phrase: "That’s against policy."Too Focused on “Administrivia” While the Ship Sinks
HR is the ultimate deck-chair-rearranger on the Titanic. While your company is steering toward disaster, they’re obsessing over whether the "Employee of the Month" plaque is straight. Big picture? Nope. Strategic vision? Not their thing. But hey, at least the dress code is enforced, right?
HR Prevents Employees from Doing What They Love
Ever had a gut feeling about a candidate you just knew was perfect for the job? HR’s policy-driven hammer comes down with a "Nope, not enough buzzwords on their résumé." You wanted innovation and fresh ideas? HR wanted to follow their 52-step process for making sure they hired a robot.
The Real Issue: HR Departments Inflate Your Prices
You think I’m buying products from a company that’s bloated with HR salaries? Hard pass. Why should I pay more so some HR specialist can spend their day justifying their job by enforcing policies that crush innovation and morale? It’s like paying extra for bad service. No thanks.
In conclusion: HR departments are the silent killers of talent, innovation, and your company’s morale. They exist to justify their own existence. I’m done paying for it, and you should be too. Let’s give the hiring managers the power, fire the HR gatekeepers, and get back to what really matters—actual talent driving actual success.
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