WHY I WENT TO HARVARD

When I was in law school in the 90’s, there was this chatter about ADR, alternative dispute resolution.?

It was this nuevo way of resolving legal disputes.?

The professors and the law students didn’t pay much attention to it, and so neither did I.?

Fast forward 30 years later, and now I see what they were talking about. What they were talking about was moving away from solving legal disputes in court-based litigation to private mediation and arbitration with a subject matter expert.?

After having conducted over a 100 family law trials, I can tell you that the clients were never pleased with the outcome, even when they won.?

The amount of time [a.k.a. years], the amount of money [a.k.a., tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of dollars] and, mostly, the level of emotional distress and inconvenience were altogether disproportionately negative - even when they succeeded in the end.?

So enter divorce mediation and arbitration.?

This is what they were talking about in law school when they talked about ADR.?

I get the 'DR'.

But why is there an 'A' at the beginning of it.?

Is mediation and arbitration the Alternative??

Or is court the alternative to mediation and arbitration??

The reality is that nothing beats mediation and arbitration to resolve family disputes.?

It is faster, cheaper, confidential, customizable, and, most importantly, abundantly fair.?

If people are going to have a legal dispute, if they are going to spend years in court, if they are going to spend tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of dollars, then why not just hire a private judge who will first try to resolve the case through mediation, and then, if that is not possible, then conduct an arbitration.?

The mediator/arbitrator is the central player who holds a key role in delivering those benefits and making the process far more efficient and effective than going to court.?

In Ontario, there are many experienced divorce mediator/arbitrators. Divorce experts are plenty and offer specialized expertise to potential clients. They give the spouses confidence in their independence, fairness and impartiality.?

But agreeing to take a dispute to divorce mediation/arbitration is not enough.?

There must be careful consideration given to the appointment process, the mediation/arbitration agreement, the design of the mediation stage, the jurisdiction of the mediator/arbitrator and the appeal routes.?

The design of the arbitration stage must address pleadings, discovery, disclosure, and finally a fair and efficient hearing.?

After 30 years of litigation and hundreds of motions, conferences, trials and appeals, it is abundantly clear to me that there is no better way to resolve family disputes other than in mediation and/or arbitration.?

That’s why I spent a week at Harvard Law in June 2023 receiving intensive mediation training by the world’s best ADR professors and practitioners.

Steve Benmor, B.Sc., LL.B., LL.M. (Family Law), is the founder and principal lawyer of Benmor Family Law Group, a boutique matrimonial law firm in downtown Toronto.?He is a Certified?Specialist?in Family Law and was admitted as a Fellow to the prestigious International Academy of Family Lawyers. Steve is regularly retained as a Divorce Mediator, Arbitrator and Parenting Coordinator. As a?Divorce Mediator, Steve uses his 30 years of in-depth knowledge of family law,?court-room experience?and expert problem-solving skills in Divorce Mediation to help spouses reach fair, fast and cooperative divorce settlements without the financial losses, emotional costs and lengthy delays from divorce court.?

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