why I want to continue to confront my comfort

I previously wrote about ‘some things I practiced in 2018 and want to get better at in the new year’… As the new year rolls on, people will be trying to keep their resolutions to change an aspect of their life, their weight, their job, their relationship, their financial situation etc...

Studies find that most resolutions will be dropped within weeks because change is difficult and setting unrealistic expectations is nothing more than wishful thinking, especially as we get back to our comfortable routines.

In my opinion, these comfort zones, where many of us may feel safe and in control, are the place where our ambition and aspirations go to die, and if we really want to grow, we have to confront our comfort at work and at home.

I - Small experimentation will help retrain our intuition

No matter our age or social construct, we possess certain innate skills and have acquired more through experience. Once taught, the human body and mind will remember how to react. Every comfort zone was once an uncomfortable one. It takes more exposure to unfamiliar situations to build skills or retrain to avoid bad impulses. Everyone can benefit from practice, practice, practice, because it forges muscle memory with every repetition.

What worked for me has not always worked for others around me, so it is important to explore what holds you back so you can choose a tailored strategy. Taking on too much is not helpful, so start small. Breathing, meditating, visualizing outcomes, music, working with a coach, remembering what you overcame in the past, watching others do it first, leaning on or learning from a friend, are few ways to help you develop additional coping techniques.

"Experimentation at home, on vacation or at work, can be useful."

Why not list everyday activities that can stretch you without the drama of a fortuitous situation. Doing something daring, getting a new hobby, talking to an intimidating person, sharing a vulnerability, trying a new cuisine, writing a blog, hanging out with someone interesting to observe, mimic and learn... are useful mini experiments that retrain our intuition so we can become more comfortable with discomfort.

II - Respecting our fear will enable a more positive outcome

There’s plenty literature about the psychology of the comfort zone and the science of breaking out of it. It comes down to fear of the unknown. In our heads, we paint a version of reality, not actual reality, where we struggle to predict an outcome, so we imagine the worst and lull ourselves into inaction convincing ourselves that it’s not worth the risk. Conquering that fear is vital. Cliché maybe, but the fear in our heads is not real.

I am still learning to respect my fear. This has helped me stay focused and proactively calibrate for my inexperience. In my opinion, submitting to fear can often lead to an 'out-of-character' behavior, anxiety, crying, anger and more, all of which will begin to feel very real and extremely uncomfortable, and will sometimes lead to unintended consequences.

"It is our reaction to these unfamiliar or difficult circumstances that defines whether or not we fail, learn, succeed or grow."

Learning how to stay focused on what we can control to own and steadily manage our reactions every time, will help us build a comprehensive mental reference library, become more conscious and tweak our impulses to enable a more positive outcome.

III - Challenging ourselves will make our life more interesting

We all have met and been fascinated by interesting people with larger-than-life charisma and intriguing storytelling. These people seem to have their own, sometime contrarian perspective, they have aggressively followed their passion, they have ditched many distractions and appear to have fully embraced who they are and what makes them special.

The most fascinating individuals I have met and look up to, have navigated their own path, they stay open to new ideas, demonstrate their commitment, spend time with other curious and passionate people, and seem to be living an interesting and fulfilling life. They have become humble, don’t try to impress and don’t let anything or anyone hold them back.

"Everyone should seek out challenging and enriching experiences because being comfortable does not necessarily equal being fulfilled."

I always encourage people around me from my teams at work to family and friends, to find real inspiration and motivation, and to discover and develop their true passion. I believe that taking initiative, self-learning and practicing hard, coupled with a little creativity while following your passion is one exquisite formula.

As always, this article is intended for me as much as for the reader. Jotting it down and sharing it are steps to committing and reminding myself to continue to confront my comfort, challenge myself and others around me, to build and embrace healthy habits to adapt and grow both personally and professionally.

I think that without a challenge there is no progress, and too much makes people quit. Finding the right balance is truly magical, so we must take some time to celebrate all the successes, small and big to stay inspired and motivated.

Readers are welcome to share their insights in the comments section. Thank you in advance.

Best wishes to everyone in the new year !