Why I Told a Founder to Ditch Charisma and Get Real

Originally posted on The Beaten Road Blog on 8th November 2024.

Two days ago, I had an interesting conversation with a startup founder. Among the many challenges he faced, one stood out: he felt a need to "build charisma" to be a better leader. After all, isn't that what many leadership courses say? But here’s what I told him, and I believe it’s a message many founders (and leaders in general) need to hear.

You don’t need charisma to be a better leader. Sure, charisma can help—it wins admiration. And admiration does make it easier to inspire others. But here’s the key: it’s only one way to inspire. In truth, the best leadership comes not from charisma but from authenticity.

The Cost of Pursuing Charisma

Let’s be real: developing charisma can be costly. You could spend a small fortune on personality development courses, polish your communication, and work on your outward appeal. But after all that, would the gains be worth it? Is the marginal improvement you get from adding “charisma” really what will make the difference?

• Consider the Cost: The time, money, and energy spent on developing charisma could go toward building your business, team, or even yourself in more meaningful ways.
• Charisma vs. Substance: Charisma can attract, but it doesn’t necessarily hold. Substance—what you actually bring to the table—is what people follow.

Focus on Authenticity Instead

Instead of focusing on charisma, I suggested he consider what authenticity means and why it’s so powerful in leadership. Here’s how I defined it: Authenticity is about being the same with everyone, in every situation. It’s about consistency in your actions, words, and values.

Ask Yourself:

1. Are you the same with everyone, or do you change based on the audience?
2. Do you say one thing to your team and another behind closed doors?
3. Are your decisions driven by what’s best for the team or by what’s popular?

People respect those who are genuine, those who say what they mean and follow through. Leaders who act one way in public and another way in private send mixed signals. This inconsistency, or inauthenticity, chips away at respect and trust.

Why Authenticity Outweighs Charisma

When I come across bosses who change colors depending on the room they’re in or say things they don’t mean, my first thought is to plan my exit. I can’t respect someone whose actions don’t align with their words, and if I can’t respect them, I can’t follow them. And I’m not alone in this: most people are drawn to consistency and integrity over charm.

Here’s what happens with authentic leaders:

• Consistency Builds Trust: Teams are confident their leaders will act with integrity, even when decisions are tough.
• Respect Over Admiration: Unlike charisma, which may gain admiration, authenticity builds respect—something deeper, something enduring.
• Long-Term Impact: Authenticity doesn’t wear off. While charisma can draw people in, authenticity is what keeps them committed.

An Exercise in Authentic Leadership

For leaders wrestling with the desire to be admired, I asked the founder to do a self-check: Are you an authentic leader? The takeaway? Instead of worrying about his speech, appearance, or outer personality—let’s call it “charisma”—he should aim to be the same person with everyone, all the time.

In leadership, authenticity is the bridge to respect. It’s the quality that will make people want to follow you, not just today, but as long as you’re there to lead.