Why I suck?!

By Brian Mark, Principal at The OHC

Okay, okay, okay.??I am going to start this weeks’ newsletter with an apology.??I understand the title has a little bit of a “click bait” essence to it and I want to own that right away.??I’m hoping the rest of my article will help explain the intent a little bit better.??As I mentioned in one of my daily #celebrateothers posts, this past week was one of the hardest I’ve had in a long long time and, as difficult as it was, it felt good when I got to the end of the week.??

A lot of things were floating through my mind as I was navigating the week.??This week I had my first pitch for a contract, I taught my first workshop outside of the organization I worked for and for my own organization, I had 3 interviews for potential opportunities, exploring leads for new areas of business, had my first paid coaching session, and I was tying up loose ends in some personal areas of my life.??I thought to myself, ”Do I have what it takes???You’ve got this, Brian!??Will they like me???Remember to note what your thankful for.??Did I miss something or say something wrong???Was it valuable???I feel so blessed and I love my community!??Did we remember everything?”??

Beyond the emotional roller coaster that was my mind, there was one statement that kept playing out over and over and over again in my head and that was, “Sit in the suck”.??It entered my mind very early in the week as I was planning and preparing for the week ahead.??What was the suck???The “suck” was my exhaustion, fear, worry, mistakes, and unfair expectations I set on myself.??“Sit in the suck” in some ways became my mantra throughout the week, especially when it got really hard, and for some reason, it was a great motivator to get me jumping out of bed every day.

I decided to spend some time reflecting and simply asked myself, “Why?”??(Side note:??The concept of asking “why” is foundation to Lean and Continuous Improvement and it’s also a great starter for journaling or writing).??

Why was the idea of sitting in the suck such a motivator for me?

Initially, it was rooted in the idea that I’m taking new risks, taking on new challenges, and building new relationships in a BUNCH of new areas.??It made me excited about the personal growth and even more excited about the opportunities to explore new areas to challenge myself.??Things aren’t going to be perfect so sit in the suck, reflect, and learn as much as you possibly can.

Things aren’t going to be perfect so sit in the suck, reflect, and learn as much as you possibly can.

The status quo, for myself and I believe for a lot us, can be to get pulled down by the weight of the circumstances.??That critical voice enters our head and it can sometimes be too much to overcome.??I’ve come up with three factors that helped me shift the power dynamic in my head from negative to positive.

Factor 1

Sit in the suck:??When it gets tough lean in, ground yourself, and move forward.??Reflect on why it’s tough, what you learned or are learning, and write it down.??Don’t let this opportunity for growth get away from you.??Grab it and pull it into you.??It’s a gift.

Factor 2

Ask for help:??I was not alone and that was intentional.??My family brought me warm meals throughout the week along with hugs and kisses.??My chocolate lab, Arthur, was there for floor snuggles and spooning every night.??The coffee barista was there at 4:30am ready to make me my morning fuel.??My friends, family, and colleagues created mental landing spaces for me to offload.?When I needed more rest because a particular day was difficult I went to bed earlier than normal.??(Major kudos to my wife Johanna for creating the space to do that)??I used my Panda planner to reinforce good mental habits and I reached out to my mentors for support.??Thank you Billie Wright!

Factor 3

Keep it real:??I know I’m dating myself a bit with this one.??“Keep it real” was popularized in the 1990s and it simply means, be true to yourself.??I hear this often from my tribe, in books that I’ve read, and I see it in posts or articles I read all of the time. It’s a timeless statement that never gets old.??It’s something I think about often when I dive into positive psychology and strengths-based theory, or subject matter.??If you don’t “Keep it real” and stay true to your strengths, and your identity, then the effort your extend will be doubly as exhaustive.??When I just did my thing this week, it felt like I wasn’t extending any effort at all.??When I fought who I was it was downright debilitating.??

My wish for all of you this week is to be able to confidently sit in the suck, keep it real, and DO YOU!

Human to Human:??Moment to Moment

?-Brian