Why I strive for peace, not happiness

For many people, when they’re asked what they want for themselves, they say ‘I just want to be happy’. This used to be me too but I could never understand why that goal always felt so out of reach. I’ve realised that having a goal of happiness doesn’t make me happy at all. In contrast, it makes me feel tired and disappointed. Instead, my ultimate goal is now a life of peace. Here’s why.

The light and shade of happiness

It’s completely understandable to want to feel happy. Happiness is a wonderful feeling and it seems plausible that you’d want to feel it all the time. But would you? Happiness is also an incredibly intense emotion. Being happy most of the time would be emotionally and physically exhausting.

It’s also impossible to know the feeling of happiness if we don’t have moments of despair, anger and boredom to compare it to. Life is all about light and shade so feeling constant happiness is not only impossible but when you think about it, it’s also not desirable.

Why peace is a better solution

Instead of striving for happiness. I’ve found a much more fulfilling goal. I now aim for peace in my life. Peace is calmer, more encompassing, and more flexible. It’s forgiving and provides stability in a world of chaos. It’s something I can actively work on, even when life isn’t going in the direction I’d choose.

I actively work on attaining peace in my heart and my mind.

How to attain peace in our hearts

In my early twenties I wasn’t feeling happy or peaceful. It was at this time that I fell into a job caring for others. That’s when I realised that I shouldn’t be searching for what I could get from life. Instead, I should be thinking about what I could give to the people around me. Working as a carer became an incredibly important part of my mental health journey. It helped me discover who I was.

This is why building Afea to be a compassionate and empowering workplace is so important to me. I want to make sure that everyone on our team has the support and love to heal and grow. Good mental health starts in the heart and I want to do whatever I can do help Afeans find peace in their lives.

For people who aren’t experiencing peace, I urge you to reflect on your life and what gives you joy and peace. For me, I realised that I needed to acknowledge the hurts in order to heal. It wasn’t until I found my true calling that I experienced peace.

How to attain peace in our minds

Achieving peace in our minds can be easier said than done. Many of us have a constant stream of thoughts running through our heads. On the outside we may appear calm, on the inside we are anything but.

To help achieve a sense of calm in my mind, I practise mindful meditation every day. Mindfulness is a process of focusing all your attention on the present to achieve clarity, perspective and a sense of calm.

If you’d like to get started with mindful meditation, here are some tips:

1. Sit in a comfortable position, whether that’s the chair, couch or on the floor. You don’t need any equipment, but you do need to be comfortable and have a little time. Start with just 5 minutes and build up from there.

2. Focus your attention on the present. The aim isn’t to empty your mind, it’s to pay attention to the present moment without judgement. Focus on your breath or some background noise. Listen, notice their patterns and simply be aware of them.

3. It’s normal to have other thoughts or become distracted. Let any judgements pass by. Try not to react to these distractions, simply notice them pass and return your focus to the present again.

4. Keep practising. You will become less distracted the more you practise mindfulness. You will also notice the overall impact on how you perceive, react and handle situations in the future.

While I don’t feel peaceful all the time (I don’t think anyone does!), I know what to do to restore a sense of peace in my world. I find the most effective method for me is some time on my own creating space for myself. Once I’ve had time to reflect and restore balance, I feel a sense of calm, peace and can return to my day.

How do you achieve a sense of peace in your life?