Why I stopped taking calls after 7PM?

I remember the times before the pandemic. While I used to leave office by 6PM on most of the days, there were days in which I was delayed - by some small pending work, or by the need to get some small clarification. Leaving by 7PM or so was OK. And taking calls, and recurring calls especially, on my way back was also OK. In fact, quite normal.?

But there is a problem with recurring regular calls, some of which go on forever, are the bane of every organization. I also schedule them, and hence I cannot be blame free. I do see recurring meetings that are running till 2025. Under the presumption that life will be same.?But the problem with recurring calls is not this. Recurring calls expect your participation for every call, on a regular basis. Do not get me wrong. Recurring calls are good. They help you plan your meetings in advance, and help the participants know that there is a meeting that will happen on a recurring basis.

But ever since my kids were born, I have stopped taking recurring calls after 7PM. In fact, I have tried as much as possible to not take calls post 7PM.

I reach home around 7PM, and taking a call, putting a headphone on to attend calls, and not listening to their stories of how their day panned out felt a bit awkward for me, and not fair to them, There are days when I leave home as soon as they wake up, and reach back only to spend 2-3 hours with them. And I did not want to eat into this time by attending calls, especially recurring calls. And I did not want them to see me continuously fiddling on a laptop while they eagerly waited for their turn to spend with me. And my managers have been quite supportive in this regard. They do understand my perspective and have been accommodative enough. In fact, on most days, I do tend to put my phone away so that I don’t have to attend calls. Most things are not matters of life and death, and can wait for a couple of hours.?

Yes, there are occasions when I do take calls after 7PM, when it is really important, or when things need to be closed, but they are very far and few in between.

As I see it, it is not our kids that need us, but it is us that require our kids. They help us keep sane in a crazy world, and help us enjoy the world from a different perspective. And the onus is on us to respect their needs, and not spend another 30 minutes or an hour on calls as soon as we return home.

Post Script: Yes, there will be people who will have to mandatorily take calls after 7PM – people who work in other time zones, or people who have globally disbursed teams, or even people who work on a schedule. The global nature of how many of us work cannot be ignored. I had the opportunity to take this decision, and I did. I would not recommend you to take this decision unless you can. But the idea is to balance your professional life with your personal life, and learn where you can draw the line. For some it might be 8PM, and for some it might be 5PM. And the key is to understand when to say no, and how to say no. The time that you have with your friends and family is limited. And it is time that we learn to respect that time.