The Day I Learned Accountability

Starting as a cashier in 2003, the plan hadn't been to develop a career at a gas station. Then something changed my life. I was placed with my mentor GM as an Assistant Manager Trainee three months after I started. A man of utmost character, he gave himself the role of "work-dad" to me. He saw I needed a father figure to kick my butt every now and then. I didn't have one. I was the result of a drunken encounter in 1983. My dad found out my mom was pregnant and skipped town. But ask my mom today and she'll tell anyone willing to listen that I was the best accident to ever happen to her (I love you Mom!!!).

 My GM mentor taught me everything I needed to run the business. However, he did more than that. He taught me integrity. He taught me dedication. He taught me accountability.  I am forever grateful for the time and effort he spent on me, not only as his subordinate, but as his friend.

 One time while working for him, I accidentally took the store keys home. He called me that next morning, absolutely ripping me a new one. It was definitely one of top three rippings I've ever had. If you'd asked me at the time how I felt about him after this conversation, I would've told you he could go to hell. How dare he talk to me that way, you know?  Now I see it differently. It was a top-notch learning experience.

 I learned three things from that situation. First, I learned that if I want to be successful, I have to speak people in the right way. I am grateful for everything he taught me, don't get me wrong, but in that specific situation, the borderline hatred I felt for him afterwards was something I vowed to never create in my people. I was going to do everything in my power to not just set firm expectations, but also show compassion for the person behind the policy violation. Second, I violated policy. I screwed up. I needed to minimize dumb mistakes if I wanted long term success. Third, my GM and I kissed and made up and everything was fine after that. I learned that everybody makes mistakes. It's how you handle it in the moment and what you do afterwards that counts. My stance during the ripping was one of deflection. I said things like "I didn't do it on purpose!" and "The spare set is in the safe, what's the big deal?" Later, when we were both calmer, he told me "Stoddard, you have to own your shit. Imagine you take a dump in the middle of the street and 10 people watch you do it. They start yelling at you to stop. You look at them and go 'This shit right here? No, that's not my shit. You have the wrong guy.' Everyone, including yourself, knows it's your shit. Denying it does you no good and only makes you look worse. The only thing you can say is 'Yep, that's my shit. I'll clean it up.' Own your shit." I’ll never forget that conversation.

 I've screwed up a million times in my career and I have a million more to go. Recently I had a situation where I messed up and my boss brought it to my attention. My response was nothing short of "You're 100% right. I should have known better. That's an easy fix. It won't happen again." There were no raised voices, there was no combativeness, there was only a bridge to meet a mutual goal of getting the job done right. Owning your shit helps build relationships with supervisors while garnering their respect. We transitioned from my screw-up to the next topic as if we were talking about current events. 

 Owning my shit helps me receive constructive criticism as a platform to grow myself both professionally and personally. Give it a try. You might like the stench, and it could fertilize your growth.

 Stoddard Worman is an enthusiastic and innovative leadership coach with extensive experience in customer service management and employee engagement.  He is passionate about people and relationships in business.

 Stoddard began his career as a cashier at a nationally recognized convenience store corporation and through his specialization in understanding the science of people, he has been promoted multiple times throughout his career.  Now connecting with people as a Regional Trainer in the company's growth markets, Stoddard has a direct impact on developing employees throughout the Midwest.

 Stoddard is a Huffington Post contributor, and can be found on LinkedIn and Facebook. He can be reached directly at [email protected].