Why I Oppose 'Ghosting' on LinkedIn

You may disagree with me on this, but I believe ghosting our fellow human beings on LinkedIn is fundamentally wrong.

I’ve emphatically declared my opposition to it in my daily posts.

Here's why:

DRIVING PEOPLE APART

If it’s your habit to abruptly end communication without any explanation with well-intentioned businesspeople who’ve tried in good faith to start a conversation with you via DM or some other means, you’re not just hurting the prospects for healthy communication in this fast-changing online world.?

• You’re sabotaging our collective ability to interact with one another.?
• You’re creating distance between people.?
• You’re potentially harming your reputation as a businessperson and throwing away potential business opportunities.?

I agree that ghosting is occasionally warranted as a response to extraordinarily insensitive or abusive behavior.?

I’ve done it myself. Usually the recipient is some overly aggressive, noisy seller who launches into pitching me without displaying a shred of interest in starting a conversation with me.??

But there are other, kinder and more civil ways of dealing with unwelcome visitors that are worth exploring.

So let's look at two types of ghosting and how we might deal with them.?

TYPE 1: THE HYPER AGGRESSIVE SELLER. You receive a connection request – usually via Inmail – from someone who seems innocuous enough whom you may have never had any conversation with. You accept the request.??

But a moment later, an automated cold DM from them pops up in your messaging channel. It goes something like this:?

“Michael, I hope you are well. Do you want to make $xxx per month from your YouTube channel? I'll promote your YouTube channel to millions of targeted people so you can get thousands of subscribers, millions of views and thousands of hours of watch time on your channel.”

At least they hoped I was well.?

There may be value in this pitch. I could be interested in giving a marketing ploy like this a try.?But personally, I find the lack of even an iota of effort here by the seller to establish any rapport with me alienating.?

SEEING ME ONLY AS A POTENTIAL SALE

I’m just a prospect to them, a potential sale.

Given I'd felt no urgency to have their service before they contacted me, I'm not impelled to hang on to our conversation or even to keep them in my network.?

I will likely say, “Sorry, I’m not interested.”

If they keep up the effort to sell me, I will repeat that I’m not interested.?

If they still don’t take no for an answer, I may block them.?

What they could have done was to start out with an outreach like this:

“Hi, I really liked your post today on X and I’d love to add you to my network so I can see more of your content.”?

Then after we connect and have some small talk where we discover commonalities, they could send me some free content that is related to their business but is genuinely valuable to my specific needs.?

And then, if this interaction has created a bond, they might approach me about my needs for their service.

Or I might ask them about how they could help me.?

Granted, this method is slow.

If you’re on the other end of this conversation and aim to eventually sell me something, you’re playing a bit of a long game.?

But the heart of a social network is relationships. And building relationships takes time.

TYPE 2: AFRAID TO BE HONEST. Then there’s the other, more hurtful – and in my opinion, far more destructive – type of ghosting.?

That’s where ghosting becomes a substitute for dealing with uncomfortable requests or situations.

You know what I am referring to if you’ve been on the receiving end of a Zoom call where you got blown off because the other party didn’t know how to tell you that your offer wasn’t right for them …?

Or if you’ve been the one who didn’t know how to face the discomfort of having to level with another human being on LinkedIn that their offer wasn’t right for you …?

Instead of dismissing them without a word of explanation, it's better to say something like: “I’m sorry, I appreciate your offer, but it’s not right for me.”?

??If the other party tries to get you to talk more, but you’re dead set against continuing, you might say:

“As I said, I appreciate this information, but I’m simply not interested in taking this discussion any farther.”

STRATEGY: BE TOUGH BUT CIVIL

?? Twice should be enough for them to get the message. But if they persist, you could give them this final warning:

“I’ve made it clear that I’m not interested in your offer. I don’t want to end this abruptly, but if you’re not going to listen to what I’ve said, you will give me no choice but to end it for you.”?

Then leave the conversation.?

Remember, you grow personally when you learn how to deal with uncomfortable conversations.?

So the next time you’re tempted to ghost somebody who’s made a good-faith effort to speak to you through a genuine conversation, do this:?

?? Dig down into your gut and ascertain what the specific message you want to convey to the other party needs to be.?

Be friendly. Be polite. Be diplomatic. Be a human being.?

You’ll make a better world for all of us in the end.?

DID YOU MISS THESE GREAT POSTS LAST WEEK?

Eight Strategies for Handling One of the Most Dreaded Impromptu Speaking Challenges: The Unexpected Question

SOURCE: Audience and client feedback gathered over 13 years as a speaking champion, speaking coach, corporate speaker, university public speaking professor and bestselling author.

STRATEGIES

1. Be prepared to answer a range of questions on demand. Research what’s current in your career world. Peruse company websites, studying lead articles and speeches by leaders for timely topics. Anticipate potential questions. Draft possible answers.

2. Before a work meeting, determine what’s topical. What big project have you or your group been working on that the meeting leader could ask you to talk about?

For more strategies you can use for impromptu questions, see the full post by clicking on the link below:

You’re Trying to Get a Top Corporate Executive to Speak at Your Marketing Conference for Free – What’s Your Plan of Action?

This was one of my tasks when I worked for a New York-based online trade journal that ran an annual digital marketing conference.

I’d get a $500 bonus for every executive speaker I brought in.

When a prospect whom I’d reached out to via email agreed to talk further with me in a call, I had my list of talking points in front of me.

Find out what I emphasized and what the key takeaway was in the full post linked below:

MICHAEL'S MOTIVATING MISSIVE

Our finest moments often happen when we are uncomfortable. It’s by having these moments that we are pushed out of our comfort zone and routine and start exploring different ways and paths to find the clarity and purpose that we seek.

Keep pushing forward and never stop, even slow progress is still progress.

THANKS FOR SPENDING TIME READING THIS NEWSLETTER! LET ME KNOW HOW YOU LIKED IT.

And remember, as the US business consultant and author Price Pritchett says: "If you must doubt something, doubt your limits."

DON'T FORGET TO SUBSCRIBE!

Thinking about doing something to present with greater impact? Give a financial presentation? Present a talk without slides? Drop me a message. Or join over 1,800 people learning to master public speaking and presenting in this newsletter link below.

That's a wrap!

SEE YOU SOON ... UNLEASH THE POWER OF YOUR VOICE!

COPYRIGHT 2023 MICHAEL BARRIS

#personaldevelopment #bestadvice #publicspeaking #entrepreneurship #management