Why I once bought 10 inflatable cows on eBay

This all happened.

It's the early Autumn of 2016. We've just launched Paper and we have no work, no clients, and no money.

We're working from the small studio we call home. Our second-hand Mac's are resting precariously on a wallpapering trestle table and we're sitting on Mark's garden chairs.

We've just had the call pulling the plug on a research project for an internet service provider two days before it was meant to start. We put a lot of time into it. We're pretty deflated.

"I've got an idea lads."

I explain my idea to Cam and Mark.

"'No."

I do it anyway.

A bovine analogy for service design

7 years ago service design was a relatively unknown discipline. It still is in some organisations. I had an idea to show a physical analogy that I really thought people would understand and love.

My idea was simple. To use the humble cow and the journey of milk from udder to cereal bowl to show the end-to-end thinking needed when improving a service, or designing something from scratch. Genius? I thought so too.

From Cow to Milk Carton to Cereal Box to Bowl and Spoon.

Yes, it's missing some finer detail like how milk gets from a cow to a carton or bottle (magic, I believe). And, yes, it's missing quite a bit like operations, logistics, finance, support, quality control, marketing, comms, supporting farmers, and the environment.

Maybe mapping things out would have been a better idea.

The plan

I found the names of 10 people working at the biggest dairy companies in the UK and sent them each a box. When the box was opened, a beautiful sequence of events would take place.

1. A helium filled cow would float out of the box
2. Connected by thread a personalised milk carton would rise
3. Followed by a personalised cereal box containing a new-to-market cereal, Special P
4. Connected by more thread would be the final items, a bowl and spoon

People would cheer as they fetched step ladders to bring down the cow from dizzying heights.

"Look at this! Superb!" marketing teams across the land would chorus.

They didn't.

I still regret not going with Shredded Paper, I think it would have made all the difference.

I took things really seriously.

The reality

Even when the eBay purchased cows were inflated with environmentally-unfriendly amounts of helium, they were too heavy to float.

I filled up the first cow, released it expectantly, for it only to flop onto the floor.

Tears streamed down Cam and Mark's face.

I was a little crushed.

Plan B was a little less Instagram-able. I just put the cow, carton, cereal box, bowl and spoon in a box with a note.

It's all in the delivery

I sent packages to 10 people in marketing teams at various dairy companies in the UK. I still have the list of people and whilst I won't name them directly I have added initials. If anyone who received a box happens to see this post, please do say hello.

1. SC at Müller UK & Ireland
2. MI at Müller UK & Ireland
3. WH at Dairy Crest
4. SS at Dairy Crest
5. MT at Groupe Lactalis
6. PC at Lakeland Dairies
7. AP at Volac International Ltd
8. JR at Volac International Ltd
9. JO'B at Leprino UK & EU
10. CL at Dairy UK

A courier collected the boxes and a few days later I'd received tracking confirmation that each box had been delivered. Now it was just a matter of time until my inbox pinged with the flurry of 'we'd love to work with you' messages.

My inbox remained empty. No email, no acknowledgement, no chats, nothing.

One last push

With my stubbornness intact, I had one last go. A double-sided postcard was printed with the opening words 'We posted you a box with a cow in it. Sorry'. and some options on the back to give feedback.

A week later on a regular trip to check the post box, to my absolute shock, someone had returned a postcard!

They already worked with someone who did our kind of work, but that didn't matter, I felt like a champion.

So, JR at Volac International - thank you. Thanks for taking time out of your day to return that postcard. You have no idea how much that meant.

What's the message from all this?

Sometimes ideas are really bad. But you get to write about them years later.

Paper is a user research and service design studio. We work with clients that didn't know about this cow story until now including the Department for Education, Department for Work and Pensions, Ministry of Justice, Leeds City Council, and University of Sheffield to help spot opportunities to make services work better for the people who use them and the people who deliver them.

We still haven't worked with Müller UK & Ireland, Dairy Crest, Lactalis Group, Lakeland Dairies, Volac International, Glanbia Cheese or Dairy UK. We're hopeful though.

We run a rather good training course called Learn how to do user research. Book your place here.